Friday, May 13, 2011

What is maturity?

Hi Kids, After a brief sabatical from our lovely server it is back at the edifying posts.

Today's topic is Maturity.

So wht is maturity? (deep cresendo DUM DA DUM DUMMM)

Is it our Aspie staying home and watching Ratittoui? (cute flick BTW) or seeing like kids out on the street smoking? Who is the mature one? The dumb one filling his lungs with gas or my son who is doing his econ homework and watching Chef Ramsey?

Am I biased if I choose Chef Ramsey?

I know for myself, being mature is a state of mind. I am a goofball who will dance and sing and do silly stuff to destress. I also think that yoga helps while working, But this is me and I freely admit I am the Mom who likes concerts (louder and more punk the better) and has a penchant for English History. I also believe that the funniest man alive was Peter Sellers....blame my brother for that one, he taught me that Monty Python was the ultimate in humor. Obviously, my take on maturity is purely in the eye of the beholder and my sense of humor on any given occasion.

The cuter one believes there should be a way to "instruct in appropriate mature choices" for our kids. He was pointing out to me that the smokers we saw on our way home from DSW looked to be an age of ours (actually they looked like they needed a bath or two). But they were in a group walking together and going somewhere. Ours don't do that; but ours knows if he touches a cigarette he will get in BIG trouble with me.....

Part of me is happy mine doesn't do that stuff. I like the fact that he calls me when he walks home. I like knowing he is OK and relatively safe with the phone in his hand telling me what is going on and where he is going. There are times I have said, "I don't know where he is, he is at school somewhere." Those are the days I feel like a gen mom; I don't know a thing, and he gets home when he gets home.
It took a while to get used to. Initially I would panic and freak out a bit....I have trained myself to calm down and not worry as much. He has proved himself and it is a good thing.

Being a heliocopter parent is really bad news. This is part of the Wikipedia link and it is APPROPRIATE:
"Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own. As the children of "helicopter parents" graduate and move into the job market, personnel and human resources departments are becoming acquainted with the phenomenon as well. Some have reported that parents have even begun intruding on salary negotiations."

If you talk to the reps from the local colleges they are finding that the parents in our age group do a number of things that arent helpful:

1. they hover- this is the parent that calls, writes and contacts the teachers for the kids.They also fill out all of the college applications and call and throw a fit if their precious little offspring are not accepted.
2. they scream- they will call the employers and yell at them if their kid is critized in the slightest (OMG)
3. they are insecure- quickly becoming their kids best buds, they have no discretion. (wait- this one is me....oops)

Fortunatley for my kid, I don't get to do any of that (except for #3). Number one he would die of embarrassment. Ask anyone, if I say anything I tell them to NOT tell the boy I called or he would die of embarrassment. I stay away from any problems unless he asks me to help....and next year it is HIM going to be contacting his teachers for notes, and other help that he may need. I am going to retire from that part as well as retiring from the other stuff he had asked me to do.....I really am backing off more and more as time goes by.

Training my kid is kind of like training a kitten or a puppy. I know, this isn't PC but what is on this blog? (deal with it, if I were a delicate little flower I certainly wouldn't be talking about this stuff) IF we train them right the kids can grow, expand and prosper to the best of their win all the way around.

THE more we train now the less likely we are to have to expect that our kids will be living off of society and will be ADDING and improving the worlds that they live in. NOW THAT would be cool wouldn't it.

Think Edison and Einstein.....