Monday, July 2, 2018

Our Princess' Birthday

It is our Princess' birthday today.
The boy and I went by this AM with doughnuts and some books for her to look at. I think she enjoyed it and I hope she likes the balloons and announcements all over the place too.

We have more plans for her in a week or so but in the mean time we will be enjoying her fun with the new balloons, the new silk flowers and the seasonal decorations.

When I was going to her church quite a while back, a pastor gave me a book about helping your parents as they get older. I still have the book somewhere and I have gone back to it several times just to see if I am alone in my thoughts or if I am distracted by living on the edge w aspergers.

Lately it seems like it is just as it should be. Princess usually says, "Whatever will be will be."
She is right.

Things are what they are, people are what they are and we just have to accept that they will do as they will. It goes the same with us though too... we get the right to do as we will and the rest will come to be what it is.

I think this could go back to the family line thing.
Usually youngest/onlies are people pleasers (2 youngests here); we just want everyone to be happy and we will break ourselves in two to make it happen. The cute one and I have decided not to do that any more. We are trying really hard to do the right thing but to also not loose ourselves in the process. Which means we now have new decisions to make and not have to worry about what others think of our choices.

Seriously, why think others care about our choices? We  are rarely asked an opinion and when we are asked we are disregarded because we are the youngest and don't know anything (believe that and you are dumber than a box of rocks). So we do what we do and that is all good. It just takes us a while (lol) since we are pretty busy people.

Moving forward, I am happy to say that the cute one and I are in a place where we are marking time, happy to be together and just be.

I am lucky I still have my Princess and I am so glad she is having a great day today - her balloons are all over and we are going to spoil her more which is a good thing for all involved.






Sunday, June 24, 2018

Making changes, marking time and in a vortex

Hi all,
Yes it has been long over due for me to get on this blog thing. Really I have had nothing I had wanted to say publically...

and I keep remembering my sibling telling me that no one wanted to know anything about what I was thinking. But screw that - 

We three are in a vortex. If you do not know what a vortex is I will define it for you here:

a mass of whirling fluid or air, especially a whirlpool or whirlwind.

Like dervishes we are flying about in circles. For example, my week ends on numbers and by the next after noon I am back on the number wheel again. My cute one is working and the boy has a job. All of us work but it feels like we are marching in place and on hectic days whirling dervishes.

We have made some changes around the house, which have been great. We finally got some new stuff after years of having a fridge that froze everything and an oven that wasn't working....slowly we are getting stuff back together to make this place OURS. Yes it took a while. AND we changed the boy's room....much to his chagrin.

Let's back up a bit.

SOOOOO getting rid of stuff. When we decided to redo the master bedroom we took out a lot of stuff. we got rid of clothing- I finally dumped all the suits i was not ever going to wear again. After about 10 bags of stuff that I hadn't bothered to get rid of before we decided that we needed to re-evaluate our deals. The cute one and I unintentionally went looking for matching bedroom furniture. I know right? we had early, bohemian attic garage sale and we went to clearance IKEA but super nice.
AND ended up redoing closet space, in 2 rooms and getting rid of things we weren't going to wear again.

After all that came the windows and the boy's space:

I had not set foot in the boy's room for let's say a couple of years. First off I had always seen it as his space, I wasn't into controlling what he had in his room and I didn't really want to know. When we had windows measured the guy went into his room and told us that the "horder heaven" had to be diminished as no one would go in there.

BAM

It was then that the cute one and I realized that allowing that kind of mess was not only really bad for him - it was effing embarrassing.

We had to reorganize. The boy was well let's say LESS than enthusiastic. This meant moving his bed, his book shelves his stuff- repacking and even purchasing some new stuff. He really needs a new bed too but I am not going there right now. ANYWAY, we started moving things around. And it was hard and we shouldn't have to do that but yeah we did have to. IF we wanted the window replaced (steel, moldy mess) we had to get the junk out of the way to get the window in. The boy ended up with a new desk top and storage space and book shelf. IT makes for a bit of narrow walking but there is no place for "hoarder heaven" to start up on the floor. Doing the IKEA route with the Billy Bookcases and the IKEA piece room really helped out with the new deal. The desk top is better than it was before- longer and more like a table top. we were able to set up a station area and the boy had places to put things. His shelves are packed but then so is his room.

What really hit home was when we sent pictures to his therapist. It was then we realized that we were allowing the worst traits in us to accumulate with the boy. The cute one says that the autism brings out the worst traits in the boy from both parental sides and we have to work to make things better and more comprehensible and important to the boy.

Ergo, we have too much crap. the cute one and I are kind of like the dumping ground for most peoples stuff. We have started in the last year or so getting rid of things we know we can't help with. We still have things for some people that we agreed to work on and we will do it but it is like I always say, "Our time frame is like no one else's and we can get to what we can get to and we do what we can but nothing will ever be immediate (like within a month) unless it is emergent then it goes to the top of the list." Basically, if you want us to do whatever the cute one and I will but it may or may not get done in fwhat most consider a normal amount of time. We do what we can do when it fits in the schedule or not.

Now for the rest of the house. we are starting a room we had never touched before. IT is a room we use ALL the time and we are maxed on space and it s a real mess most of the time. The cute one can cook thank God (or we would starve to death- I am a horrible cook) Yup it is the kitchen we don't know what we are doing yet but we are looking at some major alterations.

which will go back to the boy not liking change and we are certainly going to hear about that one too, If I have time and I am up to it I may write about our upgrading experiences with the boy. OR I may just hide in a corner, learning french and taking a class or two online.

In the meantime (I don't feel like going into other things so I am stalling) there are some videos that have just made me happy and I am including them because I am dancing on the inside and I hope they make you dance too.



and this new one from Carpool Karaoke 




Saturday, March 3, 2018

I still don't like watching pseudo drama bs

The cute one told me to edit this - so here goes

Hey. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK-
IF YOU HAVE DELICATE SENSIBILITIES, ARE A SNOWFLAKE, OR JUST STUPIDLY SENSITIVE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER......

things have changed but are still the same; we are older the boy is taller than we are. Cute one and I are trying to figure out what to do with/for the boy and then new programing comes on - as I mentioned on FB earlier in the evening I lasted about 5 min (a long time for me). My usual leaving time after banal tv programing is 2-3 minutes; where I walk out of the room in utter disgust; which makes little impression on anyone here (they are used to it).

I admit it. I am an unmitigated TV snob. I don't like most programing (poor writing, bad acting, it gets worse from there)  Watching programing about people with Aspergers, autism and the like is just beyond frustrating. It is like ripping off a poorly stitched scar with the band aid tape stuck in the middle; like sharp finger nails on a chalk board.....I just can't handle it.

People that say they "get it"; and write these roses and sunshine stories about how the big bad doctor was a dick to the poor autistic doctor student.....Yeah....so what else is new? What we have found over the years is that a quasi-acceptance happens if you stay in your damned box and if you move or shift outside of the box you were placed in. Otherwise, forget about it baby your time is up and you are done (churches we have attended are especially box inhibiting - but that is for another post).

We have had educators blow more smoke up our ass than you could care to count. At this rate cute one and I will both be lucky if we don't get second-hand-smoke anal cancer. I am serious btw. I am very cranky and tired tonight but that new doctor program just set me off and totally pissed me off.

I believe this era is one of the most judgemental and unaccepting; I have seen that for the last 8 years..... If you think you want to alter my opinion -I will believe acceptance  it when I see it happening in my own backyard.

I am so effing tired it would make your head spin.

Push me around and tell me about acceptance and understanding and I will tell you to go straight to hell and rotate on your scabbard.

See a little cleaner.... and I smarted off to another person tonight. I am tired of people contacting me only when they need something from me. It is getting totally stale.