Friday, February 9, 2018

Freaking out the Aspie or "50 year old Purge"

2018 has been the year of freaking out the house aspie aka the boy.

The cute one and I have been clearing out stuff. Seriously making an effort to purge stuff we don't need/want/use. If it is questionable we say we will keep it for a year and if it goes unused it GOES.

The first thing we did was get some furniture. the first time in like 20 years and we finally have bedroom furniture that matches. I know right- crazy..... I had been talking about taking over the home office and making it my closet so that the cute one would have the entire closet in the master.....he decided that moving his stuff to a ginormous armour (which is LOVELY btw) would make space.....I emptied 1 closet (10 year old suits went bye bye) and getting rid of old purses/shoes/scarves....and general junk....well we are almost there.

Damn snow put a kink into things but we can empty the extra unneeded furniture out of the dining room soon.

I think the biggest thing for me is making the effort....I have a lot of stuff from when I worked for different companies/organizations and such that frankly it is unlikely I will ever use again. So why keep it? In the hopes I will get a job where I have to match my shoes to my shirt and earrings (damn it I do that anyway I don't need this many pairs of shoes). The cute one was calling some of it "nasty old lady shoes" and "Why do you need that? You won't wear that orange crushed velvet jacket - make it go away"
He is right.

Anyway - in this house any kind of change automatically flips out the reigning house aspie. the boy. He does not do well with small changes....making huge ones (shit we can actually walk into a room without dealing with a bunch of boxes) well that kind of messes with his psyche.....and he feels weird about living in a room that I keep telling him I am going to condemn (not really).

the cool thing is - I am sleeping better. I am not surrounded (or feeling so) about having all this stuff....and I am actually enjoying having things all in one place... I know I don't need to go to the newest Lancome gift with purchase- I have a box full of stuff and I have just opened my new Defincils (waterproof black mascara- ****** the best EVER). I am using up the creams and all the other stuff that there is just a drop left and tossing the containers....and you know what - it is getting clear. Not being over burdened with stuff is very freeing. Did Thourou say that

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. - Henry David Thoreau

What we see around us is what is important. Giving us that freedom to choose what we need and not what we think we want in the moment.....that is a big as climbing a mountain.

We will continue with our "50 year old death purge" although neither of us are going to die any time soon (you couldn't get that lucky - vultures). And we will go forth and enjoy what we have and what we are doing and where we are thinking we want to go without having a huge amount of stuff to hold us back and make us think we need to keep it all.....

who knew that really going through your house could make one feel good about life... we have a long way to go but at least we will have a great time figuring it all out together.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018


We put this sign on our front door:
1.  To solicit orders or trade, as for a business:
1.    We have found Jesus.

2.    OUR home/lot is not for sale; if you must ask us about it - you can’t afford our asking price.

3.    We do not need new information on politicians, electric, water, gas, cable, or any other services (i.e. housekeeping, landscaping or handyman).

4.    We will not purchase the following from you- windows, siding, doors, cable plans, cell phones, insurance, or healthcare.

Thank you for being considerate.

At worst we have had upwards of 20+ door knocks, doorbell rings and other intrusions during the day.
With the boy's work schedule this regular intrusion DOES NOT WORK FOR US. 
I am hoping that this will  be effective this time around. Even the cute one agrees that it was effective with reducing the # of doorbell rings during the day.

SO if you want to stop by be sure to message/text/call and we will be happy to see you. 

Monday, December 25, 2017

New Year Resolutions

I've never bothered with New Year Resolutions.
First off I know I would never keep them; I think I tried once and it lasted less than a week. I knew then that the whole "I resolve to give up......." was never going to work for me.

On this lovely Christmas day the cute one and I were discussing how nice it was that the house was almost livable and we had things organized, put away and relatively cleaned up (I need to give the laundry-room a good scrubbing but all in due time).
We figured out what it was- we were not going negative.

I will be honest and say that I did start out a right mess about the holiday. I had been worried about the Princess....she is good but there are times when the memory slips and she was very out of it for the holiday- initially she thought it might be Easter. Kind of upset me a bit- OK no I was a devastated mess when she thought I was my sister (ugh). So between that and being told "Make sure you are here to take Princess to church" - well by God I was going to be there (thanks guys at work for putting up with me and letting me go early) and have Princess in that sanctuary with her program, faux candle (remember the oxygen - no fires about please) and singing "Oh Holy Night" if it was the last thing I ever did.

We got there. We were early and Princess was not totally sure which one I was..... its OK she figured it out- I knew all the words to the carols (and ones I had not grown up with) and could sing them and not sound like the cattle had died so it must be her youngest child.

Our traditions are a little different than most. On Christmas Eve we normally open 1 gift then everything else is opened on Christmas day. Since there are only 4 of us Christmas is kind of over the top; not totally extravagant but we do presents and then have the last gift of the night at dinner. This way of doing things has been modified over the last couple of years..... it has gone from 1/2 day at Princess' then our home to just our home to what it is now (a lot of miles on the car and picnic baskets). this year with the boy's schedule, and having to include Princess (but not exhaust her with an all day visit) we split gifts up.

My cute one kept saying that this would be the best Christmas yet- his mantra was starting to catch on. He put up with A LOT this year. The boy had to work tonight and although it meant keeping the house quiet- we had to get the boy up to eat dinner with Princess for the last gift and well that was its own special kind of challenge. So the cuter one was running hither and yon while I sang carols with the Princess for the Christmas morning church service.

After all that cute one and I got home and just did nothing....we opened the rest of our gifts and then ate snacks and watched "Christmas Vacation"...... the house kind of organized itself or that is the way it felt and you know was nice. We had a place to go later but for now we can just do nothing and not think about it. I think when we don't have anywhere to go we will miss it but right now I think we found the equilibrium that works for us...... or maybe it was singing all the verses to "Joy to the World".

Anyhow, it was at this point we were discussing eliminating the negative stuff. I don't think it will ever be completely done nor do I think that we are perfect. I think we do what a lot of people do and we are afraid things might actually work out; good, bad or ugly.  We have some major changes going down and we finally have had the opportunity to change what we thought was going to happen.

No more eggshell walking, suffering fools- no not so much; tip-toeing through the tulips? NAH.

Someone once said that I had more balls than most people. I don't think that is true but I do think that cutting through the bs is the best way to go. Living with an Aspie means that our viewpoint is extremely different. I always say that is why I wear a lot of gray- I am missing gray in my life ergo wearing it is a good way to try to get that color in my life. Normally, we have a system, and usually we stick to it as we have a lot to do and a short amount of time to get things done. For example, when the Princess would come here for holiday she would always say, "It is not a holiday at your house if the clothes washer and dryer aren't running" Well  when you work FT laundry has a way of backing up on you.

This Christmas Season I got a couple of messages from several different people at different times. Those messages meant that I had to think about things I had more or less thought were certainties but really were not. That being said, it got me thinking about priorities, and what the cute one and I want to do and how and when and where.....well you get the idea......

So if you see us virtually/metaphorically cleaning house or narrowing down our options we are working on where we want to be and what we think is best for us and the boy. It is unlikely you will agree with us; guess what- we don't want an opinion unless we ask you for it so keep it to yourself.

I did really good here I didn't cuss once (I'm using Jerry Seinfeld as an example here- he does not curse during his shows) - it is Christmas and my karma needs some additional clearing so keeping it clean for as long as I can.

Happy, Merry Christmas!!!!