Thursday, October 27, 2011

tired

The boy is making us tired.
He isn't tracking his homework. He isn't studying for tests until the night before and then complains when he does poorly.

We are NOT omni-present. He has some tough teachers this year and he refuses to make more of an effort than he ever has. His is admittedly lazy and currently has lost his bedroom door and any subsequent TV priviledges are gone indefinitely. The video games are out on almost a permanent basis.

What to do to get this lazy bones to study?

If we get after him there is a potential for a major meltdown. If we let it go, he fails dramatically.
If we are left in ignorance and don't know....well things are worse then.

It was pointed out to the boy that the cuter half and I are worn down...You know we are worn down. We are flipping exhausted. Since July it has been one thing after another....the boy has completely wiped us out.
the boy is doing his homework now....he has to do well and if he gets a bad grade in science he will be a very unhappy camper until the new semester. He will be studying until his brain goes numb and then study some more.

Do other Aspie parents struggle with the kids doing homework? We have had a terrible time getting the boy to cooperate and DO the work. He isn't dumb, he just doesn't want to. Part of me thinks we could get him to work harder if the teachers had HIGHER expectations. It seems like once the kid has a diagnosis the expectations are in the toilet.

This evening we were asked another question, "Knowing what you know now, would you have gotten the boy a diagnosis when you did?" Honestly, NO we would not have bothered with that. A teacher sees it and either refuses to have him in their class (don't tell me they can't do that - it's a load of crap. they can and they will).  We are struggling to find one more stupid art class for the boy to take so he can go to a regular college and not just a jr college. It is becoming impossible.

For us, at this point the diagnosis is the downfall. It isn't helping and if we could change it, hide it or turn the darn thing purple we would. If we could homeschool him, believe me, we would do it. He certainly would do better and learn more. (his mother on the other hand would be locked up with the key thrown away.....she can't do it, trust me) It would mean more work for the cuter half and I and right now we are so tired......it is time to fall asleep.

Aspergers has been around for a bazillion years. It has always been there (probably called something else). I once told someone that a group of people that were hazing some others were probably undiagnosed Aspies....I would wager I am right...which explains the self medication that was probably going on.

When Aspergers is being diagnosed now (in these times and this setting) it means that people who beleive themselves to be gen.....have lower expectations of boys like ours and others. We have to force our son to conform to the general accepeted norms and THEN leave his Aspergers for the home, or his bedroom (no door though so we get to hear it too....). The big thing is that since it has been around and forcing these kids to be in gen society....well they function better, they do better and they are better off socially. Sticking them in a group of others like them makes it too easy. There is no challege.....at least for a kid like ours. He is gonna learn; and not by his own choice.

We don't allow for choice in this house. There is a good reason for that. The first is, do we get to choose what we do at work? We get to choose what ORDER we do it in, but sometimes that is even chosen for us....so no we don't get to choose at work. What does that mean? Well it means we have to conform at work to certain behaviors, goals and teamwork. SAME for the kids. The boy has to follow the rules, conform to the program and do as he is told.

 IT is time to leave the disability in the bedroom and go out and do your job.....Aspergers is not something to Work around....it is time for our son to make has Aspergers work for him.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Not talkin' about the IEP


The IEP is a team effort, not a group chosen by parents, but by the educators and school districts themselves. There are times when outside consultants are used, but those are generally provided by the district if it is at their behest. Many times parents will have their own people come in, e.g. lawyers, psychologists, and consultants. We have not had this experience, but we do know of some people that will not go into an IEP without an attorney present. It is amazing to us, but you have to consider other peoples experiences and their comfort zones.  Generally we see the IEP as a team experience we don't have to like how it is going, but for the length of time our son is there we have to be able to work with these people if we like them or not. The one thing we have to remember is that it really is nothing personal although there are times when it feels that way. We have learned to apologize when we are wrong, but rarely have we been apologized to.

Largely, it has been our experience that there are things one never discusses with other people in our social circle; sex, drugs, politics, religion, and IEP results. In our friend circle, we do not talk IEP's. Any other topic is free game; but there are good reasons to not discuss the IEP with anyone out side of your partner, husband or someone not involved in the local districts IEP process.

IEP's are one of those touchy items that people can, and do, get upset about. One classic example is the thinking, "IF so-and-so's kid has it why can't mine?" My bet is that maybe because the other family does not want an aide around? On the other hand, possibly, there is another reason for the family to be able to have what you do not; it could be as simple as social ability or whom you are working with as a doctor. Another reason could be accessibility- you need to allow the school to do their job- teach your kid.

The cuter half once said that you don't get to have aides in life (although a social secretary and personal organizer might be nice) so why do you have to have an aide through school? Many families insist upon having the additional assistance for their kids, without realizing that being in a place where they need an aide means that they are somewhere beyond what they can handle. We have discovered that having our son in a more restrictive environment at a younger age has made him much more successful in school as he has gotten older. This attitude has made a huge difference IEP wise.

Honestly, you do not want to know what is on someone else's IEP report; we compare it to reading a diary. If other families are getting services and you are, wondering why you are not…it just makes for hurt feelings. There is not a blanket list of services of what a school will give you for your kid. It all depends upon what is going on and where your kid is at the given time. No school is required to give you the same things for each kid. Since each child is different, each IEP program is developed differently, and spontaneously. There is no cookie cutter method to developing and implementing IEP's. Ergo, that is why they are called "individual".

Frankly, a family taught us a few things about IEP's and why we have the "won't discuss IEP's" policy. Sadly, this family pretended to be friends with our family, and then went and asked for what our son had and used his name during their IEP meeting. Essentially, we were used intentionally, and after that experience, we were told by our son's school NOT to discuss what our son was getting as far as the services offered with this family. We were shocked that our son's name was even mentioned by them. Later we learned that this is something this family does regularly to everyone and that we were not the only families being used by them.

Over the years we have dealt with a lot of, for lack of a better term, garbage. Some of it is pretty unkind, we are generally ignored at parties, at church and not spoken to by neighbors on the street ("They are the parents of THAT kid") and sometimes not treated very well by some of our family members. On family issue parts, I think that there were other issues in the way. To the cuter half and I, we are so focused on the boy and his needs that this family stuff appeared so superficial and we just ignored it and acted like the problems were not even worth mentioning. The family thoughts and comments really meant nothing to us at the time. I am pretty certain that our feelings were never considered (or that we had feelings) and we were seen as self-absorbed mongrels.

Actually, the garbage goes with the territory; generally, what people don't realize is that if they don't understand Aspergers or Autism and talk about it anyway the parents of the child in question will just mentally cut you off because they have enough to deal with and don't need the added stress. If you don't know anything about the topic you are discussing it is better to 1) not talk, or 2) read up and then ask questions.  Talking is all part of the scheduling and we would have to talk ourselves to distraction to do what the boy needed us to do. For us, you could think of it this way; at one point we had a schedule like this, Monday -Physical Therapy, Tuesday- Speech Therapy, Wednesday- Occupational Therapy, Thursday- Psych., Friday -off (unless another Dr. appointment came up.) Saturday- Speech and Physical Therapy…do you see where I am going here? This schedule sucks. We had no nights off and the nights off we did have, Abe and I were in bed by 7 PM. Too pooped to pop.

Parent teacher conferences

I am sitting up ALL night to sign up for Parent Teacher conferences. You get 5 minutes to talk to your kids teacher....."Yes he is great, now get out of here and go to the next one."

Very productive evening....and if we want decent times I have to sit here like Pavlov's dogs and wait for the link to open.....Wait for it, 3 min to go and I can jump on here and sign up.....2 minutes, Soon, soon, then I can finally go to bed....refresh again and see if it is up....not yet....a minute to go and get this taken care of....why do I do this to myself? Oh that's right all the good times will be taken if I don't. OK it is time now and the darn link doesn't work....

GRRRR.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

this says it all

Living with a teen Aspie

We are in the crux of horomones.

Horomones are a confusing and difficult time for any Aspie, male or female. Ours is extremely, well, volitale isn't the right word but it is only one I can think of.

The boy is very mouthy, He gets after the cuter one and I for almost everything. And with that everything is an argument. He beleives he can wear us down to do whta he wants us to do. He's wrong.

This week there has been more talk of a video game club. The boy is eager to join and drop out of sports. It isn't happening. In fact, after the meltdown a couple of nights ago; any video game has been banned from use. I never liked them in the first place, although we did let him have the systems and he had a number of them in his bedroom. We don't have them out any longer....and we are done with the constant talk of playing the games and everything else that goes with it.

Oddly enough, I was ready to bann the games several years back. The cuter one was constantly experiementing and giving the boy chances to play them over and over. Now, with things the way they are even TV and cartoons and favorite programs are off the radar.

I really hate video games....seriously, I really do.

There is no redeeming factor in playing them....at least from my perspective. And it seems like EVEN mentioning a possible club or membership and the boy totally looses it. A lifetime bann is in effect, unless of course the cuter half decides to rescind it. The poor behavior, or meltdowns are even more pronounced these days even with the DISCUSSION of video games.....personally I don't understand why he flips a cork over the dumb things but at this point I am going to make certain his exposure to them is minimal....

I am tired of the arguing and I really do hate video games.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Going to Paris

When should we leave? No worries, we aren't....If we went on a trip like that I certainly wouldn't talk about it here. There are things inquiring minds don't need to know.

Going on the Paris trip thing: feels kind of like the kids on the outside looking in, it once again seems like gens just up and leave and decide they are going to Paris that morning (I'm going to Paris)....the dichotomy of living in a world where things are scheduled, life is pretty "by the book" excitement happens and the house gets tidied when the boy tells me he invited a friend over (he told us several hours after he asked- at least he let us know)....living outside the box, to us,  means a friend trusts us enough to drop by and just talk....a trip to Paris (physically or mentally), or out of the continental states sounds like planning a trip to the moon, or at least contemplating a trip to Saturn. For the cuter half and I a dinner in the dining room can feel like a well needed break or a trip to one of our favorite haunts.....or a walk down the Champs Elysee's. (Oh that's right, we don't know what that is do we; not urbane enough here in the Midwest- per someone we met recently who implied we weren't acceptable to meet other people- gosh, we are something aren't we?).

Our latest adventures involve several things, making beer bread, canning applesauce, making homemade pasta sauce, and getting after the boy to do his homework and get off his lazy butt and study. All very mundane, but we can still see that there is art in everything around us...the steam off the stock pot, the burned sugar on the bottom of the pan.....art is where you find it- and sometimes not always intentionally created by people. (Ohhh that sounds impressive doesn't it?) I am thinking of a picture of grapes that my cousin took several summer back....Absolutely gorgous pictures....not one created by a lanquishing artist....but out in the sun....Although an artist could do the grape pictures justice with pen and ink or in oils.


Keeping the boy busy is another aspect of life that requires some planning. His interests vary, and his tolerance is minimal; like his parents suffering fools is not one of the top ten. Actually, this weekend had the thrill of reorganizing the kitchen cupboards....let me tell you that was excitement. Very thrilling, almost as much as setting some boundaries and sticking to them.

Frankly, it is cold here, I am freezing and I think it is time for a hot cocoa and a hot shower....

The cuter half and I were discussing what we were going to make the boy do now. Largely because if we don't make him, he won't leave his bedroom....and we have to start looking for volunteer opportunities for him in the community after he graduates HS. We have a little time yet but there is some planning to do. He is going to learn to sell stuff on E-bay, how to decide what to sell and some comparative marking too. Sounds like a blast and a half.

I think the trip to Paris sounds like a grand idea....wonder if I could talk the cuter half into it. Doubt it. Maybe a trip to Epcot will do instead- I bet we could talk the cuter half into that one....maybe.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Missing out

I never thought it would come to this.

The boy decided NOT to go to Homecoming. Oddly enough because he is tired. He is tired of trying to be friends with people who don't want him around and act like he isn't there. He has Aspergers; it doesn't mean he is stupid and can't figure out what is making others shy away from him or ditch him or whatever.

These kids know.

This is the first Homecoming he has missed since starting HS. He didn't mention going to it, he didn't want to go, he stayed home working on his homework (needs to raise his grades) and then cleaned up and went to bed.

Oddly enough, I know it isn't anyone's fault. It certainly isn't his. It is hard to watch. It's hard to see your kid CHOOSING to stay home. I guess what got me thinking is that there are a lot of things he is gonna choose not to do as he gets older. He prefers (?) staying at home? He was home tonight; doing a paper and studying for a science test? In fact, he is volunteering tomorrow and the person in charge asked me if he were going to the dance. My reaction, a snort, a laugh and, "Even if he did go to the dance, it would be like all the others and no one would talk to him." As the boy tells me, "Why should I bother? I can't dance and if I start talking to a girl she runs away from me. The boys ignore me. I'm staying home."

It makes me sad. You can't force kids who have been in school together since kindergarten to accept a kid who only started coming to your school in 5th grade. I don't know what kids my age would have done. I don't recall many NEW students coming into our area but I do know that I tried hard to be nice to everyone that was new. Actually, I felt sorry for them. This is a very, um boring, community (I grew up here I am allowed to say it) and new people coming in....well it takes YEARS to be accepted. Our son grew up here too; he went to different schools than most of these kids.....and most of these kids don't want to bother with a NEW person (the people you have known forever are easier)..... But in the mean time, he grew up here but isn't from here. Born in another state and moving around like he did (a bunch of homes by the time he was 3).....it makes for a differnce in any kid. He has more experience in some ways and much less in others. Maybe by the time he is 20 he will have caught up with himself.

The boy, he tries so hard. Except for today. He is tired of trying. It is easier for him to be at home, reviewing papers and reading a book. He's hiding. I recognize it because I used to hide too, I would hide behind a book, it was easier than making a big effort and being rebuffed (or dealing with drama). Books were my friends growing up....I had a few friends; when it was quiet at home I always had my books. My Dad would aide and abet me....bringing home BAGS of books from the library and I would devour them all. I still have most of them (memorized too). I re-read the books that allow my mind to go numb....so I don't have to think about what to do or worry about the boy.....books are a comfort. Whether is is reading about a boy wizard, or a vampire or the classics or a vamp or a prince.....books are there. You can grab your Kindle, Ipad or hardcover and just go read.
It doesn't seem like the boy has that comfort. He is trying to make himself happen and maybe he tries to hard but the giving up is devastating to see. As a parent I can read it in his eyes. There is nothing i can do about it right now but watch. The boy is making his choices and isn't sure of his path, but it seems like he is not going to be really happy about much for a while.

I wish we could help him; unfortunately I think this part he has to do on his own.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Show Me!- My Fair Lady

I think that there are days that some teachers should NOT use so many words....this song has been running thru my head since I read an e-mail from one of Abe's teachers. A whole BUNCH of words meaning absolutely nothing.....then to look on a grade website and find out the boy-genius is doing the homework and not turning it in.....he fits in this category too.....

Wasted words....wasting talk; SHOW ME you know don't TELL me you know. Telling me you know something is a waste of my time SHOW ME you know what you are doing. BLECH...if only the boy would get it.....maybe he could teach his teachers something too.


(Abriged Lyrics to the song)
Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words!
I get words all day through;
First from him, now from you!
Is that all you blighters can do?
Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme!
Don't waste my time, Show me!
Don't talk of June, Don't talk of fall!
Don't talk at all! Show me!
Never do I ever want to hear another word.
There isn't one I haven't heard.
Say one more word and I'll scream!
Please don't "expl'ine," Show me! Show me!
Don't wait until wrinkles and lines
Pop out all over my brow,
Show me now!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Thought for the Week

Did you know:

Setting personal boundaries can create a crisis for the other person?
I never knew that before and because we are starting to set personal boundaries and actually stick to them....it could be creating a crisis with someone else. Amazing how things work out isn't it....

I may expound on this later.....I want to see how the boundary making works out. Our kitties are awfully good at it. Trouble's boundary is on the couch with his carrot.....Garfy's is on the printer, and Bert's is on anything his majesty may survey.

Maybe like the Church of the Three Tabbies, we should see how following their example with boundaries plays out.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Going Veggie and other thoughts

Although we haven't discussed diet recently I thought tonight would be a good time to do so.

We are back at going virtually veggie again. That means that we are having one meal that is almost all vegetable. No starches, very little protein and ALL veggies. For example, this evening was a salad with cherry tomatoes, spaghetti squash with tomato sauce, green peppers and mushrooms, a little ground beef, with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese and garlic bread. I don't know about you but I am stuffed.

When we first went on the new diet about a year back we were kermaflumoxed by WHAT to make....how to incorporate veggies in an aspie diet and not have a freak out meltdown hissy fit cow. What we proceeded to do was puree. All the veggies....uncooked, pureed, frozen ready to use and mixed into anything...poured on top of whatever, used in any kind of wrap, sauce, taco meat, anything....and we did it. ALL.

We have chilled out a bit but I will tell you that the boy has put a few pounds back on and we have to get back into the routine of diet, exercise and homework.....Homework is harder now and he cant do it while running on a treadmill like he used to....so we have to cut back on the gym time and eat more veggies......

On another note, we had our classic swamped weekend (36+ pints of applesauce, the major beer bread experiments, community service activities- the norm with us)....the boy was on overload between things to do and our annual fall activities; we were in and out so much that there wasn't room for anything else.
It is funny how that manages to work out. Asking us to do something off the cuff is really quite inconsiderate especially when we had mentioned that we didn't have the time in the first place. (Hello- why would we lie about it.....oh that's right, we would wouldn't we - not). We were asked and turned the extra stuff down....no time for that right now. It reminded me of what the cuter half said in a blog post he did, "Oh the joy to have the luxury of saying we leave next week, later today or even tomorrow. To the neuro-typical these are acceptable answers, to us it is a maddening nightmare, interrupting a closely kept routine, as we are expected to be available to join them. (“But when tomorrow, Dad? What time today, Dad? I need to plan, I need to pack, I need my travel guides so we can go to a “Diners, Drive-In or Dive” on the way!”) We wake at our house promptly at 6:43 and bed time is 10:13, we have to plan our days and trips ahead and must inform the Boy, regarding the minutest details, or things do not go well. Oh the joy we would have if we could drop everything and plan a spur of the moment dinner. But we can not and a phone call at 7:05pm saying we are leaving now for dinner meet us in 20 minutes is not going to be meet with a rousing “See you there.” "

I think if someone asks a family of a special needs person the minimum notice is 48-72 hours (for spontaneous time). In our place, we do prefer maximum warning so that would mean at least a month notice- we book up quick when we book up. Like the cuter half also mentioned, "Why is it so hard for neuro-typicals to say “We arrive Monday at 6pm, we would like to meet you for dinner at 7:30pm. On Tuesday we will be going down-town for lunch, please join us at 7pm for dinner. Wednesday we will be blowing bubbles and doing jumping jacks with trained Chinese Circus Bears, and we would prefer you not to come along, as it is a family day. Does all of this work for you? If not, what time does work?’ Instead we are told vague answers. Pretty much we are left to assume in the neuro-typical world people just wake up and say “Gosh, today I want to go to Paris” and they pack and leave. We have been told wanting more details on an upcoming family event, than “This Christmas” is unreasonable, venues and specifics (such as a date) will be worked out later. Well in our world that does not work. Does it in yours? Our vacation dates for 2012 have already been decided."

I think it is time for a good rounding of Miss Manners. Several years back, OK about 10+ years back she wrote a book Miss Manners Guide to Rearing Perfect Children. I bought it because someone told me I had terrible etiquette and needed some help (this old woman who was not so perfect herself). On page 130 Judith Martin states, "Oh I'm sorry, this is not a good time." for a child drop in guest that may not be wanted right then. If you go further and read the next line, "The same may be applied to drop in adults for that matter." This particular book is probably not Aspie friendly but Judith Martin does understand the benefit of good manners. It is especially important for our kids to have GOOD MANNERS; their differences may not be so noticeable if their manners are good. Oh and it is important if you are told by a special needs family that they are busy, well they really are busy....not faking... and even if they are faking it just may not be a good time for you to drop in unannounced....Temple Grandin did a bit on good manners a year or so back. You HAVE TO HAVE good manners and be polite....to the best of your ability....

Our son has good manners. I have heard many people say so and yes we are all over his butt to be polite and NOT just show up on a friends doorstep. Because, to us,  being inconsiderate is the worst thing you can be to your friends. At least that is what we tell him; I don't know if he listens or not but we try to get him to not be a pest with texting or calling....not always perfect but if we find out about it we are all over him not to be a stalker. I know that sounds extreme but we all have to give our friends space, time and freedom....it makes for healthier relationships in the long run.

Which gets back to the good manners; you eat what you are given (no special requests and learn to love your veggies), and drop ins may or may not be welcome.....if one is busy generally drop ins don't always work well with the venue (our recent busy weekend would have been a classic example).

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Barometric Pressure Changes

Recently I asked a friend of ours on FB to ask people about barometric pressure changes. I was thrilled to see we weren't alone.

Initially, when the boy would have problems in the fall I would write it off to his sadness about loosing his grandpa. He worshiped the ground grandpa walked on and misses him terribly every day. I was assuming that the sadness culminated in bad behavior, general disobidience and being just God-awful.

Right now I am thinking I was wrong. Although the above mention FB post is not mine, I did notice a running commentary about the pressure in a kids head, a feeling of disquietude and some other things.

The boy does miss his grandfather terribly. I still remember making the boy's halloween costume that summer and my dad watching me paint, glue and design it all right in front of him. Dad was amazed that I could throw together a costume out of a sweatshirt, spanish moss and some oversized netting....some face paint and a baseball cap and we were a Swamp Monster dude straight out of sci-fi.

Anyway, back to the topic here.....

the barometric pressure changes varies throughout the country. There are some links and articles if  you want to read them:
www.neurologicalresourcecenter.org/news/09apr/docs/AprNews.pdf
http://www.americanaspergers.org/hyperbaric-oxygen-therapy-hbot
http://www.science20.com/mom_not_otherwise_specified/physics_parenting_autism_spectrum

They have some interesting ideas.

I know on our end the busier the boy is the more tired he is (ie the more oxegen in his brain) and the better we all are (the cuter half and I don't have to listen to yelling-Bonus). We push the sports, the volunteering activites and other things to MAKE him step outside his comfort zone. In life we all have to step ourside our comfort zones and for the boy he has to do it all the time (going to school, going to sports, going to activites- it is all there.) EVERYTHING is outside the zone for him so pushing him harder makes it better for us all in the long run.

As parents, the cuter half and I work harder than most. We are busier than most and we have things we have to do at given times.....either picking up, dropping off or just being around just in case. It doesn't make life easier, and the barometric pressure doesn't help (squirrelly kids are a problem), but it does help that the boy is learning- and even learning how to make his aspergers work for him and not him working for his aspergers.

Dealing appropriately with the barometric pressure changes would help too. Now to get him to recognize the changes for what they are. http://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/climate-weather/atmospheric/barometer.htm
which can cause headaches, migranes, dissassociation to almost everything and a very stressed out feeling that has nothing to do with what's going on.....we need a study on this and the effects.

Friday, October 7, 2011

pigtail Pals

I know I am not supposed to be doing this now but I am doing it anyway


http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/waking-up-full-of-awesome/

You gotta read this- it is great!

There was a time when you were five years old,
and you woke up full of awesome.
 
You knew you were awesome.

You loved yourself.

You thought you were beautiful,
even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.
 
You loved your body, and the things it could do.
 
You thought you were strong.

You knew you were smart.

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

Did someone take it from you?

Did you let them?

Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?

Why the hell would you listen to them?

Did you consider they might be full of shit?

Wouldn’t that be nuts, to tell my little girl below (go to blog to see pic) that in another five or ten years she might hate herself because she doesn’t look like a starving and Photoshopped fashion model?

Or even more bizarre, that she should be sexy over smart, beautiful over bold?

Are you freaking kidding me?

Look at her. She is full of awesome.
 
You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.

All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this about yourself, you are really missing out.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I think I like my son's therapists.

The boy is in therapy. Has been for years.
due to some additional contact from the school, the boy has been in therapy today. Put it this way....for us to pull him out of classes, well that is a bid deal.
When I picked him up I got screamed at, for a good 20 min I had said "No" to several things, one of which is a "video game club" (to us, similar to taking a 3 year old and letting them eat a bag of sugar). I finally got him to pretty darn close to his therapy place and I made the boy get out of the car and walk (really not far, about a block or 2). He did it. He walked and went it alone.

I don't know what happened at school today. I don't think I want to know. So if you happen to know, don't tell me. Keep it to yourself.

I couldn't stand the yelling any more; there is only so much I can take and the Aspie yelling right now is at the end of its current existance. The boy should know by now, if you yell at me (or try to tell me what to do in certain situations) you won't get what you want.

A different person came out of therapy. This boy was a little upset but pulled it together. He yelled a little...not nearly as loud. And he shut up when I told him I didn't think I felt like discussing anything with him.
He agreed to stay in his sports, his 1 club and not pursue the video game club thing that he was yelling about this time.

I don't know what happened. I know we have therapy 1x a week right now. I know that I am tired, the cuter one is tired and it is all we can do to keep going.
I like the therapists. And you know what? Ours can say whatever the heck they want.....I don't really want to know.

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Sims social network

Have you ever thought about a SIM? Do you look at the game or check it out to see what it is like? When we actually played the REAL SIM game....I pretty much anhilated an entire family....I think I am better at games I can play and leave and not have to think about sending one to the bathroom or something.

Socially, for the boy, things are kind of like the SIMS. It is pretty simple, you have friends, you can't stink and you have to eat and take care of your self. Unfortunatley, socially the boy is kind of like Shrek. He hasn't met Fiona yet and he is still searching for his buddy Donkey.

He tries hard, I've been told too hard, but what do you do with a kid who would LOVE ot have a friend to hang out with. I fear he is too desperate and would do almost anything, but there is nothing I can do about that.
Oddly enough, we were told we should be "modeling friendships" for the boy.

Now my sarcasm comes out, How the heck do we do that when we are so isolated we don't see our good friends and family regularly....and the neighbors are, well less than social (if you are under the age of 7 w/out issues though come join the party).We are planning to do stuff, but when the boy has activities almost every weekend for the next month...how are we supposed to show him that?
Whatever.

Anyway, now we have to model making friends...I am assuming that means I need the boy, the cuter half and myself out on the street corners with signs "We need to make friends fast! Call ___-___-____ for information."

I bet we would find really interesting people. Or at least the bum on the corner would talk to us....who knows.

There are some days I think we should move, but would it really change? Probably not. We have some gens a little older than the boy, nice kids, across the street. They only time they come over is when we have a garage sale. Or at least they did....but why would they want to hang out with a kid who has interests younger than theirs? We don't expect them to, although we probably would feed them and help them with their job hunt and resumes if given the chance. But the acutal being friends with the boy? It is very difficult to see.

The loud voices over here, the boy shouting at us or the general tension is a little high. Trying to get the boy to understand that being the "creepy guy" at school is not a good thing, well it is tough on his parents. We are scared witless.... and he doesn't understand why we worry or what our concerns are. Nor does he care. He is getting too old for somethings and too young to realize that the mistakes now will cost him for the rest of his life. Either that or he is just dumber than a box of rocks....

Now for the nightly battle of the homework. Excuse me folks, I have to go rescue the cuter half from the nightly shout out.....



Sunday, October 2, 2011

Who is responsible for Homework?

The boy has homework.
Since it is Sunday evening, and he has squatted the day away....he now informs us that he has a history paper due tomorrow. He SWEARS he told us about it but didn't bother to write it down or remind us again....then he informed us he had study guides due and he lost something or another and.....btw it is our fault it isn't done.

After the cuter one and I reacted rather badly to this news we started enforcing the cracking of the books. the boy is now writing his history paper....and I will edit if he asks me to. He is also doing his science and his other homework.

Finally after we all calmed down I asked him who was in school all day? Not his dad and I, we aren't there- so who is there to figure out what is going on.

I guess that it all comes down to organization. Yes that evil word....but ever so necessary.

I have not been organized last week especially. I forgot to call in scripts today. I forgot all week. I meant to do it, but with all the (for lack of a better word) crap that has been going on I forgot. Completely. I remembered tonight when I started doing the weekly set up....Major oops. I have it called in now, but we will need emergency cover if they can't reach the doc for the refill (hate it when that happens- I knew about it too and should do it RIGHT away instead of waiting.

Very frustrating too.... and like the boy I am more mad at myself that I forgot but I am COMPLETELY exhausted and am still wondering where the heck the weekend went to. As far as I am concerned, there was no weekend....just a lot of dashing here and there and it was completely unrelaxing.....

Definitely need a nap... or at least a good 10 hours of sleep....either would work for me right now....

Oh, and the boy finished his paper....studied for his test and wrote his synopsis....and I think learned a valuable lesson- the parents aren't gonna cover for his sorry butt. He had to haul butt to get the work done and he did a creditable job too.....He has learned that waiting until the last minute is not good for him, his parents or his life outside of school (he is grounded again).

I sound like such a tough mom....actually I hate it. I would rather be the fun, ditzy mom that doesn't have a flipping care in the world. Sigh, just doesn't work that way...



Saturday, October 1, 2011

Quote of the Day

"Every experience should teach us something.", Mr Carpenter in Emily Climbs by LM Montgomery