Monday, October 10, 2011

Going Veggie and other thoughts

Although we haven't discussed diet recently I thought tonight would be a good time to do so.

We are back at going virtually veggie again. That means that we are having one meal that is almost all vegetable. No starches, very little protein and ALL veggies. For example, this evening was a salad with cherry tomatoes, spaghetti squash with tomato sauce, green peppers and mushrooms, a little ground beef, with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese and garlic bread. I don't know about you but I am stuffed.

When we first went on the new diet about a year back we were kermaflumoxed by WHAT to make....how to incorporate veggies in an aspie diet and not have a freak out meltdown hissy fit cow. What we proceeded to do was puree. All the veggies....uncooked, pureed, frozen ready to use and mixed into anything...poured on top of whatever, used in any kind of wrap, sauce, taco meat, anything....and we did it. ALL.

We have chilled out a bit but I will tell you that the boy has put a few pounds back on and we have to get back into the routine of diet, exercise and homework.....Homework is harder now and he cant do it while running on a treadmill like he used to....so we have to cut back on the gym time and eat more veggies......

On another note, we had our classic swamped weekend (36+ pints of applesauce, the major beer bread experiments, community service activities- the norm with us)....the boy was on overload between things to do and our annual fall activities; we were in and out so much that there wasn't room for anything else.
It is funny how that manages to work out. Asking us to do something off the cuff is really quite inconsiderate especially when we had mentioned that we didn't have the time in the first place. (Hello- why would we lie about it.....oh that's right, we would wouldn't we - not). We were asked and turned the extra stuff down....no time for that right now. It reminded me of what the cuter half said in a blog post he did, "Oh the joy to have the luxury of saying we leave next week, later today or even tomorrow. To the neuro-typical these are acceptable answers, to us it is a maddening nightmare, interrupting a closely kept routine, as we are expected to be available to join them. (“But when tomorrow, Dad? What time today, Dad? I need to plan, I need to pack, I need my travel guides so we can go to a “Diners, Drive-In or Dive” on the way!”) We wake at our house promptly at 6:43 and bed time is 10:13, we have to plan our days and trips ahead and must inform the Boy, regarding the minutest details, or things do not go well. Oh the joy we would have if we could drop everything and plan a spur of the moment dinner. But we can not and a phone call at 7:05pm saying we are leaving now for dinner meet us in 20 minutes is not going to be meet with a rousing “See you there.” "

I think if someone asks a family of a special needs person the minimum notice is 48-72 hours (for spontaneous time). In our place, we do prefer maximum warning so that would mean at least a month notice- we book up quick when we book up. Like the cuter half also mentioned, "Why is it so hard for neuro-typicals to say “We arrive Monday at 6pm, we would like to meet you for dinner at 7:30pm. On Tuesday we will be going down-town for lunch, please join us at 7pm for dinner. Wednesday we will be blowing bubbles and doing jumping jacks with trained Chinese Circus Bears, and we would prefer you not to come along, as it is a family day. Does all of this work for you? If not, what time does work?’ Instead we are told vague answers. Pretty much we are left to assume in the neuro-typical world people just wake up and say “Gosh, today I want to go to Paris” and they pack and leave. We have been told wanting more details on an upcoming family event, than “This Christmas” is unreasonable, venues and specifics (such as a date) will be worked out later. Well in our world that does not work. Does it in yours? Our vacation dates for 2012 have already been decided."

I think it is time for a good rounding of Miss Manners. Several years back, OK about 10+ years back she wrote a book Miss Manners Guide to Rearing Perfect Children. I bought it because someone told me I had terrible etiquette and needed some help (this old woman who was not so perfect herself). On page 130 Judith Martin states, "Oh I'm sorry, this is not a good time." for a child drop in guest that may not be wanted right then. If you go further and read the next line, "The same may be applied to drop in adults for that matter." This particular book is probably not Aspie friendly but Judith Martin does understand the benefit of good manners. It is especially important for our kids to have GOOD MANNERS; their differences may not be so noticeable if their manners are good. Oh and it is important if you are told by a special needs family that they are busy, well they really are busy....not faking... and even if they are faking it just may not be a good time for you to drop in unannounced....Temple Grandin did a bit on good manners a year or so back. You HAVE TO HAVE good manners and be polite....to the best of your ability....

Our son has good manners. I have heard many people say so and yes we are all over his butt to be polite and NOT just show up on a friends doorstep. Because, to us,  being inconsiderate is the worst thing you can be to your friends. At least that is what we tell him; I don't know if he listens or not but we try to get him to not be a pest with texting or calling....not always perfect but if we find out about it we are all over him not to be a stalker. I know that sounds extreme but we all have to give our friends space, time and freedom....it makes for healthier relationships in the long run.

Which gets back to the good manners; you eat what you are given (no special requests and learn to love your veggies), and drop ins may or may not be welcome.....if one is busy generally drop ins don't always work well with the venue (our recent busy weekend would have been a classic example).