Thursday, June 30, 2011

Manners, manners, manners

I heard about this e-mail this woman sent out to her potential step-daughter-in-law. I will say this; the cuter one and I are not the modicum of virtue NOR do we have perfect manners. However, there are some things that are perfectly acceptable and ALL of our kids should learn this prior to walking out the door and visiting someone else's home.

I would also like to point out; I don't agree with the woman that sent this via e-mail. It would have been in MUCH better taste to talk to the person in question (unless of course she is completely unable to handle criticism....then I totally understand the e-mail thing). I will say that most 14-32 year old are completely incapable of being criticized on any level. That being said.....this may have been the way to go. Miss Manners and Emily Post would be appalled by the use of e-mail, or even the lack of manners in pointing out poor manners.....

Any how- here it is and although NOT perfect it does have some good points to it.


It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for ______, he has fallen in love with you and _______ being _______, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.

It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

Your behaviour on your visit to _________ during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.

Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.

If you want to be accepted by the wider ________ family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.

There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.

Please, for your own good, for _______'s sake and for your future involvement with the _______ family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

  1. When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
  2. You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
  3. You do not start before everyone else.
  4. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
  5. When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
  6. You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.

[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic. I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition. She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.
As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.

No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that ________ must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity __________.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

blips on the radar

We have some blips on the radar today. Most came thru via  a phone message that was NOT clearly written. When I got ahold of the person who wrote it and explained that WHAT she wrote made it sound like the boy was flunking drivers ed for missing a class (the day after a tornado and the power was out all over) I think the writer was a little sutprised. My initial reaction was "HEY! the kid hasn't even taken his first driving test yet and according to what YOU said he is now flunking drivers ed. What is up with that? Why are we even bothering?"
I was then told that he isn't flunking but may need to take a class during the day. I then asked if I have to take the day off of work to get him to class. As it is I will have to take him if it is day time....he isn't set up for transportation services. That and he has things during the day....the reason he is in a later class is because he CAN'Tget there any sooner. (can I say it??? Please? Duh)

Once she remembered that the driver's ed class was in fact cancelled that day she then realized WHY the switchboard was lit up like a Christmas tree. I wasn't the only parent ready to flip out over this one. I have even offered my superior organizational skills to their office. They really neeed me and I think you should agree and tell them so. The boy is mortified. I told him what I did and he is not amused with my antics///// what an old poop. I just decided that being nice is fine; asking why the boy is flunking when the last I knew he was getting a B in the class is another deal. I used humor, and the girls near my desk at work gave me chocolate to make be feel

As I have mentioned recently the boy is seeing how we handle things. Now I will say we aren't the best at dealing with companies that tell fibs or don't complete jobs appropriately.....The mystery of the missing branches....we went all  over the yard over the weekend and found branches from the tree trimming job from THAT company (dont' use them go elsewhere) and the branches were in the front yard and now they are gone.....It must have been the "Troll Momma" that came and got them.....at least that is what we tell the boy. For some reason he doesn't believe us. :-)

Anyway enough silliness.

I was informed that I am too blunt, I should not say what I think nor should I tell someone of "power" that "They need help with organizational issues and they should hire me to come in and fix it." As it was put to me, "Not everyone needs to hear your opinion all the time and you are not going to get anywhere with telling someone like that what you think." (essentially, my thoughts don't count- nice)

HMMMMM.....lets see.....the person I have said that to knows that I tell it like I see it and if they want an opinion they will get a very honest one plus a lot of extra help from me.
Maybe some people don't know as much as they think they do. Or maybe I am just waiting for the time that I don't have to see the naysayers in my life anymore......


Monday, June 27, 2011

Being Grateful

The cuter one was told that he should be grateful for work that we paid for.

Are we supposed to be grateful for paying for something that is a service? Or grateful the damn tree didn't land on the house?

Gratitude means "The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness" Does that mean a paid service especially if you are being charged an arm and part of a leg for a service that is supposedly completed?

THis time give an answer and tell us what you think:

Sunday, June 26, 2011

trying to show a good example.

This is a stretch for us right now.
Since the tornado, we have been working on cleaning up the yard, catching up on laundry (it was up to our ankles) and cleaning up Trouble pee.



Trouble is a delicate little flower kitty (he is the one laying on the pillow, not the top one that's Bert). Trouble is the size of a small dog....in fact, he could sit on most small dogs and squish them like a bug. Naturally this could happen if he weren't terrified of them. During the tornado Trouble lost his mind and went to the boy's room and our room and proceeded to unload his bladder on the beds. We have done everything we can to clean it. I think we finally have the solution: White Vinegar, and Baking soda. The eau de Trouble is finally disappated and after another dosing should be completely gone.

After Trouble's debacle, he went and hid under our bed for 2 days.

BOth the cuter one and I wish we could have joined him. We think Trouble had the right idea....minus the peeing on the beds thing. The hidning under the bed would have been a nice break for everyone.

We had the neighbor issue, and frankly, we were not amused when someone 2 houses down asked us WHY the guys fixing our tree would knock on our neighbor's door and not ours. Who was paying the bill anyway? I did contact the tree people and ask them why they contacted our neighbor and not us....we were paying the bill after all.

The cute one and I are still working on the being nice thing. I guess where we struggle is what we have gone thru in the last year.....where did being nice to this other family get us? We didn't force the grade school to not allow their little monster to graduate, and WE SHOULD HAVE. We haven't pushed it with the village about the sirens....well that isn't true....but we could be A LOT WORSE.

The boy has noticed a difference in the "fabric of the home" and is stepping up. He has helped with the beds, and will checking on Trouble ...... He is more confident this weekend and we don't know why but for what it is worth we will take it. Maybe he is realizing that contact with people changes, or that sometimes there are people who don't like his parents at all because we think ALOT differently than most parents of kids on the spectrum. We are anti video game, we despise WOW.....and there are those of you WHO KNOW WHAT THAT IS.....we won't allow potentially addictive games near our home,....we banned Mario several years back.

What kind of horrible monster parents are we? (don't answer that)

Did your kid eat cornish game hens, salad, fruit, corn on the cob, and tricolored new baby potatoes for dinner? Ours did, and most Aspies would be down for the count with the texture of the game hens.


So here we are, back where we started several years ago....a quiet Sunday evening, the boys watching TV and I am blogging.....we aren't social, much. But we are less stressed out and a lot happier without having to defuse why we are evil parents for not allowing a constant barage of video games and junk food in our house......

Which goes back to the being nice....is it being nice or being socially acceptable? Or are we nice because we are apologizing for our son and his disability. WHICH is totally sick and demented....but it is a possiblity. Especially when we see gens acting worse than ours does......then we actually feel pretty good about things.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

It was an EF-1

The other evening there was a tornado in our town. We are several blocks away from where it really hit down. What I sent out is below:

To the shock of everyone, a tornado was in _____________ on Tuesday evening. It has since been designated as an EF-1. Although most of the severe damage is several blocks over we still had enough damage in our yard and neighborhood to deal with. There were NO sirens, no warning; the power line pole in our back yard is split from the top (bent in the direction of the wind).....ergo we are w/out power. According to C_____ our area will be without power for quite a while. We had our contractor out Wednesday and he didn't see much at our place except for some gutters that need work.....
On Tuesday, we had JUST gotten home, our son had his first driver's ed lab and we were debating about going to my Mom's and letting him drive and decided not to because of the rain. Then a LARGE BOOM and the lights flickered and then nothing. Visualize this, my son is 6'0 and I am shorter, I shoved him into the bathroom and told him not to leave until we figured out what had happened......the trees made the boom noise and my son finally said, "Mom can I come out of the bathroom now? It's dark in here." By then the storm had passed.
Our neighbor two down had a LARGE tree split almost in half. One side went towards their home the other side took out the power lines. They are looking at a lot of repair work and their yard is just a mess. We may have to leave the house while C______ is working on the power; we should find out sometime soon what their plan is.....the joy of clean up, right? C______ won't do anything with minors in the house so when they call we have to run......we missed them yesterday and we may have to wait for them tomorrow if we don't have some idea of what is going on.....
Our larger maple lost several big branches and we had a very large one fall on the neighbor's garage roof. All of this has been removed as of today. The guys came out at around 7 AM and by 9:15 had cleaned, cleared and cut the branches that required removal. We no longer have a lovely maple, but what I call an "uogly" tree. Which is OK, I always wanted a "Joshua Tree" so I guess we have one now. Our neighbor told the tree guys he wanted us to take the tree down; I told them that he can pay for it ($10,000.00+ for removal)
C_______ has still not gotten to our neighborhood (we have temporary power now). A number of restaurants and other businesses in town are still without power. At least we aren't the only ones. We have been told possibly by Tuesday but more storms are expected to come through this week and next and it is unlikely that those without power will have any by the end of next week....I am extremely pessimistic about the outcome and although they are telling us Tuesday, I am betting that the cuter one and I will be without until next Friday or longer.
The boy is fine, he did spend the night at Grandma's last night; he would have been alone all day today and needed a break from being in a dark house. That and a warm meal.....he was wiped out from his night classes although just about everything else has been cancelled at this point. He was just happy to be able to take a warm shower...... and be able to sleep without flashing lights and saws 24/7.
We are happy that we are OK. No one got hurt, the kitties are fine, and the house is still standing. God has been good to us.
Hope you are all well and enjoying your Friday.....we are HOPING we have electricity soon. Although we are burning some old candles that needed to be got rid of so there is a light of some sort, we suppose.

I had sent out this e-mail yesterday to friends and family.....not because I wanted to but because I had been informed that it wasn't a "real" tornado and it was something I had made up because another family member had been in one several weeks prior.

Frankly I was annoyed. 


Who knew that Tornado’s cannot land in different states at different times. Someone had better tell the weather that it is not permissible. That and there is NO excuse for talking about a tornado in our town when another one was else where….who cares that you have to clean up? The other person is much more important….Oh Please. My response to that is someone must be….oops I forgot this is a family show….I’d better not say

were fortunate, there was no lasting damage. We still need our power pole replaced, but the crews have bigger jobs to do, and removing the power pole here is very difficult (kinda marshy back there).

What I am getting at is that we ALL need to be careful what we say to other people. The person that made the comment to the other person probably NEVER dreamed that the comment would come back to me. Or maybe they did and didn’t give a rats butt. Nonetheless you KNOW who the important people are when the ones who call are really concerned and offer to help.....the friends who e-mail when we are still quite shaken.....and offer use of a fridge or freezer when you know their home is in the midst of a remodel. The people who really love you.....that are there for you is what you find out. It is huge. And it is important. These are the people who when they hear something from you the first thing they do is offer to help.... a trite response is really disrespectful btw.

Back to the beginning here: I have lived in this town virtually all my life, the other person (commenter) hasn't lived around here since the 60's.....so what do they know about it? Right now it is about 45 degrees and it is the end of June. That is totally whacked. Climate here has changed dramatically, and it is what it is. Would the other person believe it if I told them to bring a jacket to this area in June? No. So will I bother? Probably not. Let them find out for themselves.

The cuter one is having problems of his own. We have had the philosophy of being nice to everyone (even those people who are really scummy). Many times being excessively kind to our own expense; to people who haven’t earned the privilege and to places that are not worthy of our presence. One of our neighbors was disgruntled because a tree branch fell on his garage roof. I told him that we were working through our insurance and he threatened me with court (Knock yourself out dude). We had the branch removed….although we should have told him where to go….and he has to go thru his insurance like everyone else does….his damages are under the threshold for deductible anyway not like the other family two down who have to have major work done. He wants us to remove the tree, we had looked into it once and frankly it is very expensive….not like other areas of the country who want the wood….this is just beyond what is rational- my reaction was, “Fine he can pay for it. We can’t afford it; we can afford what we did and that’s it.”

The cuter one was less than amused.
So what is the point in being nice? The cuter one and I are still working that bit out. We need to show the boy a good example, Aspie’s are famous for modeling what they see. If we let ourselves down how is that showing him how he is supposed to do it? It isn’t. But we cannot allow ourselves to be walked on either. Getting pushed around and ordered about doesn’t really work for me; I am not very good at it. In fact, my Mom told me that she was surprised anyone would bother….when that happens I normally do the opposite or do nothing at all. Neither is a good example for the boy but it does buy me time……the cuter one is ever so patient and will gently say, “it will all work out” while internalizing his anger at that person much to his detriment.
In the meantime, the kitties have got me up much too early, I am bummed because we missed the season finale of Jamie Oliver (horrors). And I am becoming laundry queen….. there are a number of horrors we get to deal with prior to enjoying our day….

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The wanter got stuck

DELICACY WARNING- For those more delicate readers please don't go past this warning. Language is graphic today and topic is very difficult.
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The boy has a "wanter". He also has a "gimme" and "I have to have or I will die with out" and "I need" and the "You are my parents you OWE me". Um, excuse me, what do I owe you? Birth? Life? um, toleration of stuff I didn't realize and then dealing with inane doctors and other issues? I owe him allright. When he becomes famous I am sending him a bill. There was one year where his medical costs were upwards of $5,000.00 (meds, docs, and misc).

You can tell, he lost me at the "YOU OWE ME" part right?

When the wanter gets stuck he drives us NUTS with I want "" and "I want ". Today;s want has been a computer. Not just any Computer but some blasted thing from Microsoft with a free xbox 360 (Bill Gates, you and I need to talk, I know sales suck but HOW could you do this to me? What have I ever done to you?). The entitlement end of this is just beyond anything. I heard the same thing today about something that is going one with extended family- I am not doing what one of them wants, I don't think she is too happy with me but guess what I don't care (sing-song). I have to deal with the boy, his issues, stinky cat pee and acid in the litter box.....what MORE do you want from me?

How else can I put this? It will be a COLD FREEZING DAY IN HELL before the cuter one and I get a Microsoft Laptop and Xbox for him. In fact, the wanter on the boy is being highly creative; he wants us to pay for half of it. Even if we could afford it, after what happened today, well it would be a stretch.

What happened you ask? (Brave soul, you are so valient to ask such a loaded question)

Well first of all, the cuter half took the boy to a dud of a garage sale; the "old man crap" (parts of tools, sockets, just junk) was so bad it would have gone in our garbage....we wouldn't have bothered to sell it. The boy was annoyed to say the least.
Having to help with chores around the house and crush pop cans for recycling ( OH the torture) was so hard for the delicate little flower to bear (whatever). He also helped to make a really great dinner and prior to eating needed a shower...THERE is where the problem began.

Then he had done something else. This is a thing he had been warned about- he BROKE a school item by taking it to the bathroom with him. Taking electronics into the shower with him is a really STUPID thing to do. Yes he did it. I asked him where this piece of electronics was.....and I found it with him, in the shower.

Then I found out more about m____________ and what he is doing. Let's just say it was MORE than I needed to know. I now know the details, and I am kind of shocked but not surprised. I don't want to know about m____________ , my son or any MORE details; from what I saw the stuff on the elecronic was completely inappropriate. OK, it was more than inappropriate. It was p____. Not terrible, just the soft stuff but still not what I want to know about and certainly not what I am prepared for after digging up what I called the "Rumor Weed"


(roots on that sucker was so deep I couldn't even break the dumb thing off). Lets put it this way; today was NOT a stellar day of parenting around here.

In my view, and religious beliefs m____________ is a sin. A good sized one at that. Trying to get an Aspie who only is thinking about instant gratification and what they want and a stuck wanter.....well using the brains God gave him is just not going to happen. Ergo, the electronic in the bathroom. And yes I walked in grabbed it and it is hidden. Fortunately the boy genius didn't get it wet; but as clumsy as he is and and since he is the boy genius....well he is darn lucky. He could have turned into roast boy....which right now after dealing with a stuck wanter all day could be a reasonable alternative if he lived with canibals (we aren't , we barely eat meat, I like white beans better or portobello mushrooms).

Nonetheless, he is not grasping the issue here. The issue is taking a piece of electronics into the shower, not what he was doing with it. (RIGHT now I have bigger fish to fry. Going into the sin of ,m_________ is so abstract for the boy we are just beyond what we are able to discuss with him. He is great about some stuff and THICKER THAN THE BLASTED PLANK about other stuff.

On the other end of the house....I need a new mascara that doesn't give me raccoon eyes....I would really rather discuss that
........than talk about the boy and his bathroom habits. That is so TMI and I don't want to know but because the boy is what he is and is doing what he does we have to talk about it....in detail at length and until I want to crawl under a rock and hide.

The highs are so high and the lows are so low.

I need my Bliss catalog, maybe I can find something good in there I really need to pretend I am NOT dealing with all this right now..

Thursday, June 16, 2011

nuthin to do

Actually, that is an exaggeration.
The boy had the week off. He hasn't been doing much but catching up with friends, hanging out, going to movies and cooking.
IT is gettting a little stale. He is bored. We are going back to the gym....these kids need the physcial excercize like nobody's business. and it HURTS. For kids with multiple sensory issues exercise is like an annoying mosquito bite or totally annoying and very painful.

We make him RUN.

He does 2 miles on the treadmill at about 4.5 or higher. If he can talk back it isn't high enough.

He needs to get the nervousness out of him.....he walks from school if he wants, and tells me that his what he is going to do. He works out he is in decent shape and seriously he NEEDS to do this stuff.
Life is so different now.
Kids are inside playing on video games. Zoned out in front of the TV, doing nothing....and NOT getting the magnatizm from the earth into their bodies. Yeah, yeah, tell me I am a freak - Guess what sweetcheeks I am not. IT IS TRUE.
We started using a magnet therapy when our son was younger....about the age of 5 or 6. IT HELPED....and frankly, the boy's bed is the MOST comfortable and it is because of the magnets in the mattress pad.
Sleeping ALL night is a huge deal. Most of these kids don't get decent REM sleep to save their lives. They need to SLEEP....and they need to RUN: we like going to our gym or getting him on a track and making him GO!! until he is tired.

Now for the FOOD bit:

Today I read an article in the Daily Mail. It was about Gwyneth Paltrow's book about food. It sound like a great book. I think the author of the article needed to make an effort though. Feeding your kids new food is not a one shot deal. IT IS MULTIPLE and you FEED THEM THE SAME BLASTED THING UNTIL THEY EAT IT -DUH! The little monsters won't starve to death but YOU have to eat it too and learn to like it.

We eat veggies ALOT and the boy is down 40 + pounds and looks like a different kid. He still LOVES the junk food but he doesn't love the way he feels after he eats it (a permanent spot in the bathroom for at least an hour after). So in our own way we have gone Gwyeth. We are also Jessica Seinfeld the puree queen....and yes we do add veggies to the meat and EAT IT....good stuff man.
I think the fact that the diet and exercise makes the boy look pretty good, be pretty healthy and is working his way to catching up to his classmates....lets hope in the long run this Aspie boy keeps to his roots- veggies/fruit first, then mean then starch then done with the meal.

Yes, it is all about food and the vitamins and the mouth on a kid who has been bored out of his gord today.....thank goodess summer school starts next week.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Nagging

The boy is now a professional nagger.
If he wants me to do something the pestering, nagging and bothering is almost constant.

As I have said before, if you WANT me to do something don't nag me. I will do it, maybe not as fast as I should, or maybe not as well as you may want but I will get it done to the best of my ability.

Today has been a constant pestering for me to get something added to his Ipod. This is NOT a simple download of a CD. This actually LISTENING to the CD and picking out specific songs. A range from Louis Armstrong to Michael Jackson (at least it is good stuff and not yuck)
 

Since I am not paid to be his technical advisor .....and I basically have to take the computer apart to get this stuff added I am NOT in a big rush to do this for him. We had some stuff done on the computer and it is worse than it was before I supposedly had it fixed. As I have told the cuter one, next time I will just do it myself.



I should just do the loading and get it done. But the thing is, he expects me to stop, drop and roll at every request he makes (my Mom tells me that is a guy thing). I don't work that way. I have never been very good at being ordered about and "puppy dog" is cute but not quite in my job description. It is the same with laudery and wanting the "right" shorts for school or "Mom, I need this done now, can you stop breathing and please don't do what you need to do and do this NOW?"
 Very subtle.....

If he pokes me again and bugs me to do this for him there will be a problem. Mainly that all electronic privledges will be lost and things will start turning up on E-Bay. I am not a good Mom like some, I don't just stop, drop, and roll.

One would think by now he would know that his Mom doesn't do badgering, nagging and pestering to get something done very well. In fact, the wheels on the Mom bus fall off and for some reason the cab refuses to run and the gas tank ran empty.....I am good like that.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Working on the chain gang

There are some days when we are just working on the chain gang. Or at least that is what it feels like.
Stangely enough the cuter one and I were trying to figure out WHY we weren't able to get all our gardening done. We do it outselves and have some STUNNING flowers.

One of the plants we have is a yucca plant. If you have ever tried to transplant one of those you would say "Yucca" too. The roots on this thing are as hard as a brick. I thought for sure we were gonna bust the spade. The plant was SOOOO big we ended up separating it into 5 sections. 4 of the sections were moved to a new location; the last staid where it was originally planted. We then decided to move some other things and make a new bed on part of the lawn. This is a  lot of work....we  haven't worked this hard in a LONNG time.

The boy decided that helping us was the better option. That and he was bored. He has been home a total of one afternoon and was BORED out of his mind. The worst of it is that we found out that his internship isn't for as long as we thought. It is a shorter time frame.....but who is complaining? At least he gets to go. Anyway, he toted dirt bags and then helped pick up grass edging....then was a tad dirty so took a shower. Essentially the cuter one and I had a " mud mask" on our hands since we used 6 bags of dirt to set up the new garden plot.

Expanding the strawberry patch so we could grow MORE organic strawberries sounded like a good idea. Ok we were gonna do this about 10 years ago.....it took us this long to get the job done. We are a little slow on the uptake. We need more cement edgers though (If you have red scalloped ones and want to get rid of them let me know....I have about 20 more feet to go and need more dirt.
The boy saw the potential in being able to grow his own strawberries and make his own things with the organic ones we have the potential of really getting a good patch going.

 I realized today that the boy liked gardening about as much as I did as a kid (ewww, no thanks). Like out home cluttered with knicknacks and too many sets of dishes; our garden is cluttered with overgrown flowers.....a bazillion rose bushes of differing size and varieties. It all needs cleaned out; although the cuter one and I are so pathetic we can't throw any of the plants away.

Much of the problem with him is the texture. He needs to get over that part.....goopy stuff is part of life, deal with it clean it up and be done.

We still aren't done with the garden and little does the boy realize that he will be out there getting dirty and helping with the garden tomorrow as welll. IT is time for him to learn to do things he doesn't like and put up and shut up and just go do it......Now that is being flexible  :-)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Finals- the final frontier

This is the last day of finals.....no this is the DAY before the last day of finals.
Tomorrow is margarita night for the cuter one and I...although inviting some friends over for drinks might happen too.


The big question is "Why are finals different for us than most people?"
Here are a couple of answers.
1. The boy.
The boy feels lonely when reading alone. Alhtough right now I am considering having him tested for dyslexia (family trait); he has told me that he feels alone when reading and wants someone to be nearby to keep him focused. It has been made known to me if he looks at a page all he sees is a page of words and nothing makes sense to him....it gets all mixed into mish-mash.

2. Organization.
The organization of study guides is rather beyond him. He is getting better at it but if it is a BIG study guide then it is likely that it is difficult to organize for him and he is not able to keep it all together. This year's study guides were very consuming. The boy came to me in a panic over his science one....he did the research and I did the helping. that was a first.

3. Actually studying- To dream the impossible dream


.... an aspie studying on his own without his parents forcing him to do it over and over in his head....that is where we are right now. The boy needs to study on his own or we need to get rid of any electonic devices (computer, TV, remote, Cable, Ipods, cell phones) You name it the thing needs to go if he is going to study on his own without support. We are STILL WORKING on this one. Although I am considering taking the week of finals off so he will study.....if he were to get all "A's" that is what we would have to do with him.

Forcing a kid to do what the Gen's do is no easy task. They are REQIRED to do it in a prior age. These kids were forced to sit in a chair and get thru the day. Our son was forced to sit in a chair and he came out of the "rubber room" because he was so BORED by sitting alone he wanted to be in a classroom. That is what makes the boy sucessful....he earned his way out and can do it but needs to focus.

Can we teach focusing or do we just uplug everything and shut off the fuses for a while....it is a thought........

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I have a kitty

his name is Master Berticus.

Master Berticus is the chief pet, the number 1 felion and the master of all he surveys. His goals are to protect me when it is night time, to wake me in the AM for food and to tell the other two to leave me alone when I am writing.

Master Berticus is the king of the kitties in this house. Although at the Church of the Three Tabbies he is Brother Bert. Today he is Master Berticus....

The story Bert likes to tell is about how he is related to Cleopatra's royal kitties and he has silken Eygptian tabby cat fur. Master Berticus has  a vivid imagination.

He and I are hiding from the boy studying for finals. I don't want to face the music, or listen to the boy yell. So for today, Bert and I will pretend to be in Cleopatra's Court for a while longer before we brave the frontier of the rest of finals week.

Monday, June 6, 2011

The wheels on the bus

fall off once in a while.ALLEGORICALLY - they fall off.

Mistakes happen, stuff gets sent, work goes missing the black hole in the house eats the spare sock that the washer either ate or puked.....You can find a kitty toy mousie somewhere that it isn't supposed to be....OMG...what IS THAT??? The Kitty Toy is headless and the catnip went WHERE????

This is just at home; even better at school the wheels fall off the bus. That's what we, in this house, call having to call the school after "AH HA" moments (or "DUH" moments, but those don't happen as often). Generally, we TRY not to pester, call or ask too many questions. Most of the time we don't want to know the answer....so why torture ourselves and ask?

Last two weeks the wheels have fallen off the bus, rolled down the highway and went smash into a retaining wall......and that is just the funny stuff that happens....the typos on forms, and the asking for the electronics back when the boy is in summer school (I am missing a charger; the school needs to return mine). then trying to find out where the boy is 2 hours after an internship interview (OMG he is so well trained he won't text me at school to tell me he is there!!) Then returning text books prior to finals....we are still processing that one-

IT is FUNNY; it is and laughter is the only thing we parents have left at the end of the year to keep our sanity.....think about it, studying, working on homework, the book with directions....ummmm we need the book to do the homework to work on the study guides, to teach the class to......hug the dog, to feed the cat to look at the house that Jack built..... yes I know the link is to a homeschool thing...relax. I am not espousing it nor would I diss it either. It all has to work for your family.....for us, the public educational system works but that doesn't mean it works for everyone.

IF we didn't have a sense of humor the mental wheels in our house would have fallen off ages ago. It is only because we find this stuff amusing that we are able to have any kind of brain cell function at all.

So today kids, we are singing "The Wheels on the bus" by the LuLu's

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The boy

is being obtuse. I know, SHOCKING and Aspie being obtuse... It just does not happen does it? Why would an Aspie be obtuse? Not part of the overall picture. (the sarcasm here is SO thick we could cut it with a knife)

He has decided that it is all in all to me to help him with his finals. I am so enraptured by what he is studying that I decided to go thru HS again just to look at the books

You believe that and I got some swampland in Swaziland to sell you for a gooooood price.

Please. My all in all to ensure he gets good grades. He is so desperate to get out of studying he wants to go to bed early....well we all want to go to bed early....he was up past midnight working on the science study guide and worked all day on the econ one.....now for history and the la one is finished ( I think)

The cuter one is giving me a break....quizing the boy on the Russian Revolution about did me in mentally. Not the Revolution itself, I just got the names mixed and the boy was trying to correct me. It was determined that my mental faculties had temporarily left the building and I needed to leave the room. Therefore I did, leave the room that is.

Mentally....well that is another story. I am exhausted and since Aspies learn a little differently than a gen....there is a lot more work involved with finals week than most people realize. I don't beleive that a lot of people KNOW how hard the boy works at school. He has support at home but he is on his game at school and busts his butt.

Finals week means we are all busting out butts. This is the week where Mom and Dad are helping hime keep his game face on so he doesn't come home blubbering idiot. The study guides are handed out a week prior to finals. What is up with that? Fortunatley the Science teacher has a brain and she handed it out weeks prior to that and he has been working on hers for several weeks now, However, the others came home Friday. He needs them all done by Monday. Which means the supports HAVE To be in place at home. Nothing is electronic (!) and we have to help him go over notes, ask him what he needs and then he organizes the materials and we help him if asked to put it in the sections.

Can I just comment here....ELECTRONIC....Send the guides to the kid's e-mails and let them save it on google docs or something and work on it there....all typed and neat and organized. Then if they need to print it off they can. YEA!! Now that is a beautiful thing. YES? You aren't writing new one's every year, so lets just get it up there and let the kids put intio it what they do and it is an easy way to grade what is going on.....at least think about it. I am about out of glue stick and staples OK?


Friday, June 3, 2011

A glass of wine at dinner

Ok, I know I know, either you are gonna kick my butt or chastise me for being a drunk at the end of the week. Whatever.
It has been a long week here at the OK Corral. We have studied for finals, tutored impossible math assignments, and then the best part was clueless for about 3+ hours about where the boy was. The last we need to get used to.
He is growing up.
Fortunately the cuter one came up with the fabo idea of cleaning out the fridge from leftovers; wine included. We are SO TIRED that one glass has put us both under the table. Thank goodness we are home watching Jaime Oliver this evening so even if we are toasted it doesn't matter much.

The boy has learned that with his life-style, meds and supplements alcohol is out for him. Not a good combination.  We had discussed drinking (and sex, and m--------------, and drugs, and rock and roll) and we pretty much determined that drinking is not a way to go.

The other thing we want to know is what the heck is wrong with the cuter one and I? We had the boy dress appropriately for a job interview today (nice shirt, necktie and slacks) the other parents or kids dressed like they were going to school. HELLO it is a job interview and I DK if it assumed or not Get off your FAT LAZY BUTTS and make your kids dress like they are going out for a job. This is not rocket science here and NO ONE owes you or your offspring anything.

Nice to know I am so good with other people that it takes me a glass of wine to get a little annoyed that my boy was the only one decently dressed for what was supposed to be important.....he was the only one that was there dressed appropriately.
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

It is time people to ditch the sweat pants for school (only appropriate as a little one age 3 and under) and dress like the general joe average. Aspies need to look like everyone else or they will be eaten alive out on the job market. That doesn't mean dressing like the catalog for one store, it means a combination of things. I have mentioned this before: DRESS LIKE GEN'S which means put on real clothes, Aeropostale pants or shorts, Ambercrombie or Hollister shirts NIKE or REBOCK and then whatever else. Current boy fashion is BLACK sweat socks below the shoes or NO SOCKS at all.  Girls usually go to Express, Ambercrombie or Hollister; flipflops are a fashion necessity -Get Pink from Victoria's Secret. Guess or Forever 21 if you are looking for a little more general attire.

I KNOW I am an old woman but I do pay attention and if we want our kids to be sucessful they MUST look like the gen's in order to succeed.
NOW DO IT and stop procrastinating. Oh and BTW- I don't want to hear any whining about morality and the stores. A big ole whatever for that bit. Our kids need to make more of an effort to look like everyone else. GET over yourself and plan that the best time to hit Hollister and Ambercrombie is first thing when the stores open then worry about getting OUT FAST so you don't run into your kid's acquaintances at the shops.
Now to find the boy Kakhi's for the new internship....Get moving....and prepare for the best!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Studying for Finals

This is a stressful time for any family.
Hormones run high....stress levels max. It is time for finals. Today's, well not issue, but topic is about when to return those at home textbooks. We were told that they had to have them in tomorrow. Now for those of us parents who do not HAVE omnipresence as a quality, taking the books from us now is kind of like taking us out to the back field, shooting us and leaving us for fodder.

Talk about feeling like a sitting duck.

Although we will be returning the books; the ultimate question is why would we want to keep them? for a sovenier? Bad enough you have to purchase college text books.....blech. Anyway, we are just amused that we have never expected that study guides that are assigned for this weekend require the text books to be back by tomorrow???? The boy was having a kitten (NOT LITERALLY) and the cuter one and I were dumstruck.

Did you know; that organization is an issue for the average Aspie? I know you have heard that before. These darlings are about as organized as your old key drawer. Throw it in and pray you need it someday.....In the mean time....removing needed resources is not a good idea. Frankly, the elevated mood we are in here, we will just start being goofy and possibly make fun of the situation at any given time. We aren't doing it to be mean, but there are times when we have to let it out or go dancing naked on the street.....our neighbors already think we are 3 bricks short of a full load why not add some more??

Now seriously, Study guides should be handed out after spring break. The week after the kids get back. Then give them all the time to work on them Make the darn things accessible online....that would help a lot!! (I would fall down and worship on that one- the hymns would be sung at the top of my voice on the roof of my house) We are teching up our Aspies, and we can't get this stuff on the school website?