Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tis the season

Like the song goes, "it is the most wonderful time of the year."
I used to relish the holidays. I got into the baking, and the shopping and the parties and the fun. I still do but it is a little different now.

Doing the holiday's Aspie-style is a litte different. We are very "traditional" only doing it our Aspie- way. The Aspie-way is not what many people do. We have the fun, but it is a little more controlled and organized.
There was a letter that was posted once. I used to send it out every year, until my son outgrew it. Now it seems like he has his own way of thinking the holidays should be celebrated.

For example, the year my Dad passed away was not a time for me to be thinking "Christmas". I didn't even want to bother with a tree or lights. Our son said, "What? What about the tradition of the Nativity being in the family room? We have to decorate it is the holidays."  Kind of like being consistent with other venues in his life, being consistent with the holidays is a big deal. He has his tree, fully decorated in his room, the house, even the bathroom has fancy towels and the kitties wearing their Santa costumes on Christmat day. It is fun, and although kind of wearing....it is our little tradition. Getting the tree up with the base spinner and then deciding what ornaments to put on it.....it is our little tradition.

Thinking of that; I should get a pic of our cats with the costumes. It is a riot.

The same goes with him baking cookies for the neighbors, and taking them on nice plates. They keep the plates (no refills, sorry).wW get to spread a little holiday cheer and try to be nice at the same time. Keeping that in mind, we are also trying to keep our "secret charities" really secret. We were recently accused of being "graceless" and doing things for "public acclaim" because of that we decided as a family to go around and do nice things for people w/out telling them or anyone else. Not telling you anymore than that; if you want your Aspie to think outside the box it might help to engage them in a "secret helper" idea. It has encouraged our son to think about how to help in the community and what others may need to feel like they are appreciated.

I don;t know if this will encourage you to think about helping others, getting out of your box and tear off the wrapping. I hope it makes you smile a bit, come up with traditions that work for your family and realize one thing. Christmas in Aspie-land isn't all stress and struggle. There is a lot of fun to be had as long as you relax and have a good time with the planning too.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


we learn new stuff every day.
Today's lesson is still being "processed". In "Aspie-land" (where we are most of the time) processing (which means discussion, learning, and teaching) can either work quickly or have to take a LLLLLOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGG time. I think this latest lesson is gonna take a while.
There are days when living in Aspie-land is OK, we are allright and things are running smoothly. Then there are days when it aint so hot. Right now we are in tepid water. Neither too hot or too cold; things are smoothe, to a degree....and we are OK....just OK, that's it.
Being OK, or average or bleh or whatever is working for us right now. To many that might not seem like a good idea. For my husband and I, we are so emotionally drained, we need the break from the emotionalism. I need to get rid of my white hairs too; in the last month my hair is turning almost grey/white  going thru all this. Oddly enough, this isn't to do with our son's misbehavior or attitude or Aspergers. It is with other people; mostly gens (people w/out Aspergers)....

I wonder what these other people would do if they were in Aspie-land on a more regular basis....it might be good for them to learn a little bit first hand.

Or maybe learn a little bit more about compassion and that all kids on the spectrum are not the same. Just because one does one thing does not mean they all do it. For example, if one has a perception issue, another MAY have a perception issue but in a different way....not the same as the Aspie-kid over there. It is all different. Kind of like how God made everyone different, labeling the hairs on our heads. And each Aspie is different.

An Aspie teaching compassion....now there is an interesting job for you.....I am definitely gonna read that book when it comes out....

Oops, my mistake. I wrote it.       

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Life w/out doors

One of the rooms in our house has no door.

It is currently in the hallway. We have moved the door to the hall several times over the years. It just needs to be there right now.
We are finding that most agnst for the house comes from door slamming. This door has been slammed more than once recently. We are finding that our son's perception of why closing a door with excessive force is just not cool. He swears he didn't slam it, but maybe being on the receiving end makes things a little different for us.
Although some would blame this on Aspergers, it isn't. Our son is more typical than one would expect in this area. He was trying to "prove his point." Well his "point" ended up in the hallway in front of the bathroom door....we have a full length view of ourselves as we leave the bathroom now...at least we can check to make certain zips are zipped and buttons are buttoned.
Frankly, this is more uncomfortable for the man of the house and I than the boy.The boy doesn't mind it much....or at least that is what the parents of the house are perceiving. Doorless; it is noiser. We hear the TV in his room, and the texting and the "I wanna check my FB" Stuff like that. Which isn't bad but there are times when wishing for the "sound of silence" would be a lovely thing.

On that note, I think there is a reason I don't listen to music as much anymore. It isn't that I don't like it, but I think there is so much commotion in our daily life, there are times when silence is really comforting. Maybe we all need MORE silence3 and less of the "wake me up before you go-go".

I wonder if there is another window I can shut, since the door is still standing in the hallway....it is a thought.

Friday, November 5, 2010

hit with a brick

I recently realized that not everyone comprehends special education.

seriously. They don't understand what things are and what they mean. Like when someone is in a self contained program. That means they have to learn differently than someone else. It also means that they need a LOT more supervision.

My son isn't like that. He is doing very well and maturing rapidly. He also doesn't approve of my blog. That is Ok, there are things I don't like him doing either.

When you realize that people are either deluded, or just stupid about special ed, it is really hard to know what to think next. Do I go into the "educational mode" and try to explain how Aspies are different at all different levels? Or do I do the "stompping" routine? (never works for me, I am not a stomper). My most normal route, is to "cut and run". Why bother to explain to people who either don't want to understand or understand how things are and could give a rats butt.

Not all Aspies are liers. Neither are they all stupid, nor are they incapable of having full and wonderful lives. After what we have been thru recently, I am still trying to figure out how these people know special ed, but truely know nothing at all.