Thursday, September 10, 2015

One never knows.....

W all the mess going on we had some "regular" chores to do recently.  
The boy HAD to renew his drivers license.  Almost everyone knows the unmitigated joy of doing this.  

I'm quite certain those poor people who work there see it all.  

I had the boy go up alone to speak to the reviewer.  He was doing ok but off the cuff ASPIE comments can be a little much for some people. For example, "I think I need to wait to be a donor I don't want to curse myself and die too soon"
That one cracked her up.  

I couldn't hear what else was said but I did ask him if he was giving the reviewer a bad time.  He said "No Mom I'm almost done go sit down."  Then at the cashier line (I'm the checkbook) another lady came by and told me how polite the boy was answering all the questions. 
??????????
Really? 
Huh. Who knew. 
We must be doing something right. Kind of a shocker that was.  

Oh and the guy who found my wallet and returned it to me (w nothing missing I have no $$ anyway) - you are an amazing wonderful person. Thank you again!!!!


  

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

It happened 6 effing years ago......

The boy is trying to resurrect arguments that happened 6+ years ago. Most of these arguments have been resolved but he is bringing them up like they happened yesterday.
My latest strategy is to tell him that we are dealing with the NOW and not the THEN. If he wants to discuss NOW great lets have at it. If he wants to discuss THEN, well lets get our butts to the therapists. In some ways, I know I should apply that to my experiences, and when certain things stop emotionally hurting I probably will. In the mean time, as always the focus is on the boy (even though I am sick and tired of the focus always being on him).

The weird thing is that he is obsessing over things that haven't even happened yet. He has gotten stuck on friends coming over or what we will do when and all that. Little realizing that he has another semester to get through then a job to find and all of the rest of it. WE are exhausted and in his Aspie-land self centeredness he could give a damn. His complete self-centeredness is costing him a future relationship - we just don't want to hear it anymore.

This Aspie-land self centeredness is a huge deal here.

Frankly, the cuter-half has had enough of it and has little or no tolerance for the boy and his shenanigans. I am not here for most of it these days. I work most of the weekend and I am not enjoying the arguments and garbage that seem to bloom out on the weekends. The latest thing is this lack of understanding that really makes me want to scream and that if I am not here I am NOT making promises for the cuter-half that I cannot uphold. It is like trying to break a palace wall to get this kid to grasp that I really don't want this new friend to come over. We are not a babysitters. The boy's lack of understanding that we do not care to have anyone here and if they want to hang out they can go to the screened in patio and hang out there but I do not want them overtaking the house.

Yeah, kind of rude right? Whatever.

Since the more recent outbreaks (I don't mean meltdowns, just stuff happening), the cuter-half and I are doing more things for ourselves. You know, we always gave up everything we wanted to do for the boy. We never put ourselves first. Ever. Now we are tired of giving it up. We want to do what we want and our main goal is to get him through school so we can determine what WE want to do and then do it. We don't know what all that will be but it is unlikely that the boy will be at the center of it like he always has been.

For those of you who think this is terrible, this is called "parental burn-out". This happens to parents who have no back-up, help or resources available to them. We are at this part in our lives and once the boy moves out it is unlikely he will be allowed to move back home. We can't go through all this drama any longer. We are tired.


Monday, September 7, 2015

13 weeks

The boy has 13 weeks and he will be done w school except for 1 class.  Then completely finished. 

13 weeks. I often wonder if we should have forced him out when he first graduated.  Go away to school figure it out good luck.  

I honestly don't believe he could do it.  His big issue right now is that at 21, well, he's kind of a jerk.  I hear most are that way but this has been going on for awhile.  

That and he doesn't fix meals for himself, he quit the cooking major and quit cooking entirely.  He used to make paninis, omelettes, quiches, anything. Now forget it.  He won't even make a cold meat sandwich.  

Today I had to work.  I had not set up the vitamins/pills for the week.  Forgot it. I've worked the last 6 days in a row.  My patience is shot. He has this OCD thing where if it's not the right day he won't take it.  Which is stupid. It's the same every day. AM & PM. So I did the weekly set up and told him to go take it.  

I still believe his problem is pooping.  No shit out and behavior is God-awful terrible.  
Taking a dump is mandatory.