Sunday, February 20, 2011

Making meatloaf on Sunday

Meatloaf is a traditional end of the week meal. It used to be made up of the scraps from the week and combined into a meat dish for the weekend. My Mom used to make it with boiled eggs down the center with cheddar cheese and whatever was left in the  house.

Today the boy and my husband are making meatloaf. While I was at the deli counter gettting sandwich meet for the week I was instructed to get extra ham slices. My husband had decided to give this new receipe a shot because it was different and the new thing in this house is to "expand our horizons". Oddly enough we have told people we are on Sabattical but really we are trying new things and taking new opportunities that are offered to us.

For example, we went to a concert the other evening. It was offered to us, the tickets were free and the two of us decided to go. The boy stayed home....made his dinner, did his homework and went to bed. The contact was appropriate, he texted when he needed to and he was smart enough to know if he called I couldn't have heard him anyway (second row tickets). We got home late, he was in bed, sleeping and we enjoyed the time apart and were able to refresh after just an evening away.

We need more breaks like that; but we couldn't have done it if we hadn't SHOWED and TRAINED him on what to do and what is appropriate.Kind of like training the kittens to use the litter box, we have trained our son on how to take care of  himself. This is NOT an easy process. It certainly isn't fun. But he is better for it and although he is still a short tempered teen we are still working on the training process.

I know, comparing him to a kitten or a puppy isn't PC. Whatever. PC isn't done around here, I don't have the time or the energy to be a delicate little flower. I do know that if we don't train our Aspie kids HOW to function in a world not exactly prepared to accept them we are doing them and ourselves a gross disservice. Training can start with a cheap cell phone and a house key; or whatever works best for you. Their phones btw don't need all the bells and whistles. Our son's phone is bare bones basic, no add-ons, or games. He lives with it and although would like an I-phone or something techy, HE has to earn the $$ to get it and it would be him paying the bills on it. For now he lives with the phone he has got....and is happy to do so.

On that note, everyone wants the bigest, brightest and the best for their kids. I would love to do the ultimate and give him everything he wants. I am happy to say I am selfish and I can't. There is a book I read once and the main character talks about parenting,'I would like to give them whatever they want. My common sense tells me it is better that I can't. It is better for me to be selfish and know I can't do whatever they want when they want it." She is right. It is better to say "No" now then than to go forward and let them think they deserve it all.

Natually if you asked the boy, he would tell you we say NO all the time....that isn't true, it is his PERCEPTION that we say NO all the time. He wants us to go along as we did when he was little and his wants were he got bigger his wants got bigger and he would like a new car (NO), WiFi (NO) and any other expensive, expansive idea he may have.

I love the word No it is so fun.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

C's "Attack Plant"

Plants can attack. Worms do turn on their assailants. Kittens have claws.

The written word is something to be feared and respected. Although I am not famous for being the mosr patient and tolerant person around I will say that I AM CAREFUL about what I write to people. I rarely write letters, I mostly e-mail or call.

At this juncture I am discouraging my son to putting things, feelings or thoughts in writing. I don't know if that is right or wrong. It has been my experience that writing what you think about someone, something or someplace can be hazardous at best. I beleive, for now, keeping his thoughts "generic" is the best way for him to work through some of the weirdness that happens when you are an Aspie.

Now, what I mean by weirdness, is HIS perceptions AND OTHER peoples perceptions of him. Just because ONE Aspie may do things one way doesn't mean that all of them do it the same way. Living on the edge like the song or movie, is really a matter of perspective.

People don't do things the same way. For example, there are people who are able to get themselves out there....really promote and make their thoughts known. Then there are others who fly under the radar of the "socialism" in the special ed community. We prefer under the radar. We rarely put ourselves out front. We don't need to. But some do, and it doesn't mean we are all the same.

The other day, I was talking to someone. This person didn't even remember who I was. It really bothered me; we had allowed him unlimited access to our lives for several months last year. Not the vanity part, no one knows who I am outside of my own little world and I am good with that. The fact that this person was telling me about how bad I was as a person and had told me I wanted fame from having a kid on the spectrum. Excuse me? Hello, this was a choice made for me you over stuffed moron. I didn't pick this for myself. Not one person I know would choose this on their own....well except for my husband. He did, and does every day. The thing is, when you can't remember someone's name, intentionally calling a person's kid by ANOTHER name is generally not a good way to go. This person got what he wanted, he upset me, and got me to say "See ya, and not on the other side." Insensitive dolt.

Oddly enough, we are surrounded by these kinds of people regularly (insensitive dolts). It is where it is unexpected that really gets you. It does, people saying, "Your life is unbeleivable and I won't beleive it without proof." What, you really want to read an early IEP and a med eval? Give me a break. Thomas doubted Jesus and you know what, the Bible even says that there are greater places in heaven for those who believe without seeing.

My son beleives in himself, God and some other stuff....maybe even Billy Crystal after watching the movie tonight. Who knows, but I do know this. WE ARE SUCESSFUL. we have taught him to work with what he isn't perfect. Why should it be? God never promised us perfection, Jesus never did either....we just have to beleive. And not what some overstuffed person tells us to do trying to "play holy". Whatever. Billy Graham did it better than any of those people and that man was a real man of faith. SO was Mother Teresa.

"We cannot beging to understand the suffering of others unless we suffer ourselves. Pain and suffering have to come into our lives, but suffering begets life in the soul. It is a sign of love becuase this is how God the Father proved that he loved the world; by giving his Son to die for us and expiate our sin. The Spirit pours love, peace and joy into our hearts. proportionalety to our emptying ourselves of self-indulgence, vanity, anger and ambition, and to our willingness to shoulder the cross of Christ" - Mother Teresa

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Church of the 3 Tabbies.

There is a new church, it is brand new, called the "Church of the 3 Tabbies". It meets at our house. On the bed, in the master bedroom.
The 3 Tabbies are very active in their church. They do charity work, like cleaning the clothes and moving them to the hall where they are gathered and washed. The Deacon Trouble goes through and decides what offering dishes are empty and when they need to be refilled. Brother Bert brings the sacrifices, he catches the mousies and decides when to work through the sacrificial rights. Litte Garfield does the music, he sings out in the middle of the night asking us to "Go to church and say your prayers."

This is a small church. Not many members, the building is old and the place is rather decrepit. But the tabbies that work the church are very devout. They pray regularly, they contribute to their environment, and they remember the lost. They pray for them, and ask them to help with providing the green beans and food sources for those who need it.

How many of us are in need of the Church of the 3 Tabbies? How many churches are in need of the same? What would the community be if there was a Brother Bert and a Little Garfield, to bring in the needs of the community and still love everyone with kitty hugs and purrs?

Maybe it is as simple as all that.
And the little children shall lead them; maybe it is the same as being as simple as your cat, dog, bird, goldfish, and just BE!


Thursday, February 10, 2011

what are we doing here?

This is a common question?

"Whither thou goest?"

Through the ages we have all asked where we are going, what we are doing and why. I am doing that now more than ever. The boy is being a "typical teenager" he doesn't listen to anyone about anything. That can be bad and good. At least we know we aren't special, he isn't listening to his teachers or counselors either. Being a teen means being dumb, making gobs of mistakes (that most would NEVER admit to), and just being rather dopey overall (I should know).

I keep wondering how we ended up with this.....we both work our heads off, and are barely making it. I don't get it....we follow all the "rules" that are set up for us and we still get the shaft (gotta love Christmas Vacation, good quotes). Really I started all this deep thinking about a week or so ago when I heard that the economy was getting better and unemployment was going down by 2.%....HELLO! Yes the economy has changed, businesses are getting smart and going temp and not hiring full time. No one WANTS to be on unemployment but plenty of us are or have been and it is what it is....there are things happening all over the world, the economy is in the tank everywhere and yet the people who are actually doing all the work are the ones paying the bills. Again, it is what it is....all we can do is out best and make the best of a yuchy situation.

This morning I read a comment on The Daily Mail, about how Americans shouldn't try to take over the British monarchy and claim them as their own. What a dope.....who would want them? They are bringing in tourist dollars to England, and yes I would go there if I could. Heavens, I wanted to live there when I was younger- but the thing is, certain things in each culture brings in money to help support the culture itself. We need to appreciate the culture we have....make up trips....try going to see ALL the Presidential museums in this that would be a feat wouldn't it? We saw Gerald Ford's and let me tell you, for a 2 year president....his museum was SUPER COOL....the interactive bits and the was impressive to say the least. It makes me want to consider driving about and looking for the rest of the presidential is an interesting way to learn about polictics of the time.

Yeah I know, this all has nuthin to do with autism and aspergers and all that good stuff. That is another kettle of fish...... Maybe I wanted to prove that we can talk about lots of stuff here and just think some thinks.

As far as the boy goes, well he is OK....doing the aforementioned dumb stuff and we are hoping we can nip in in the bud again.....some of it repeats itself and gets stale from trying to NOT deal with it or maybe just not think about it. What I mean by dumb stuff is doing his homework and not handing it in. Stuff like that. I have no patience with that garbage. Which denotes that I need more patience, but there are times........