THere are some phrases that I know I have used recently that I'm not proud of but they are used more out of frustration than anything else.
It is dumb to be annoyed at him for loosing a hoodie. But I am annoyed. I repeatedly asked him to put his NAME in his jacket and he didn't. I know, I should have but when I am dead am I going to be doing that for him? NO probably not unless I come back from grave and have use of a marker.
Maybe it is the fact that I KNOW he is not a moron. He just acts like one periodically. It isn't his fault. I know the cuter half and I have little or no patience. Good Grief, the cuter one told me a story about a guy and his dog and the perfect day for the dog before the dog died and I cried like a baby. We definitely have depression issues around here.
Not bad, but enough that we are aware of it....and recognize that we both need ot work on it.
The thing is, between the boy, the incident at school (he got a kid to stop taking pictures of a girl who had asked the kid to stop doing it- and got a detention), my Mom's thing, then getting some long overdue advice, Then getting some other news about the coming week....good night no wonder we are depressed.
We are trying to go to some places just to get away......make things we enjoy and then try to do things that are fun. Although, maybe not right this minute. We are tired. There is something to be said for moral support...and although we have some we don't have a whole bunch right now or at least it doesn't feel like it. I really think that maybe these feelings are because we are long overdue to go away for a weekend. The last time we did was in Feburary and I know, we were on a vacation.....tutoring the boy and getting through school is hugely draining on us. You don't know what it is like until you do it....and although it sounds like fun, most of the time it isn't. IT feels like every time we turn around we are getting into an "object lesson" for the boy or we are working him through some process to get him to do something or listen to someone about "x-y-z"
Sometimes it feels like we have shot ourselves in the foot.
Then other times we remember the weekend we went to see an exhibit that I really wanted to see and we took the boy to a Presidential Museum and he ended up having to see an exhibit on dresses from the 1970's....Funny to the cuter one and I but not so funny to the boy. Or the time we were staying down town and we discovered that our hotel room had two bathrooms....good night you would have thought we were at the Taj Mahal. NOW that was exciting...the cuter half and I didn't have to share with the boy.....and we could take our time in the bathroom with a lovely room and nice bar for dinner. Fun!!
Maybe when it comes down to it....its the little stuff that means so much. The kind words, the encouragement, or the just being polite. Not that we always are....a month behind on thank you cards but we will get them done.....maybe when the power goes out again but it will still happen.
But lately the cuter half tells me that I should only be writing about how wonderful Master Bert is and if I am not doing so I should not be writing at all.....I digress. As parents of an Aspie teen kind words from him are few and far between. the boy is kind when he wants something or is making some kind of demand on our resouces, time or thoughts. There isn't a whole bunch of kindess after his mini-meltdown over having to study for a test on Monday. There isn't a whole bunch of patience either.
Maybe the cuter one and I are depressed becuase we don't KNOW what the boy can do. We HOPE he can do any number of things but we don;t KNOW that he really can do it or handle it.Whether we like it or not....if he moved out now he would be up for horder of the year......can't even walk in his bedroom right now- house rules are " close your door: I don't want to look at that mess."
maybe he's right. I wonder what a blog about the glories of Master Bert would start people thinking? Or at least give me a break and the cuter half some awesome story ideas.....hmmmmmmm