Trouble came by tonight to tell me that he would like to have a new bed room. He thought that maybe when the boy moves out. Then we would have a spare room that would be made over for the kittens- Trouble told me pink with sparkles.
I thought it sounded OK... To explain- the cuter half and I play around with "Trouble thinks". Trouble is very loquacious and has a lot of great ideas. He tells the cuter half who tells me what latest and greatest Troubles thoughts that come down the pike.
I guess the reason it sounded so cool was that the boy is being a bit of a poop. OK not a bit, a major big toilet filling poop that messes up the plumbing.
Actually most of the problem comes down to perceptions. To the boy, not Troubles, it is the cuter half and my fault that the boy has homework; he has a test and paper due Monday, he has a project for a class that was cancelled and 2 sessions of pe to get completed.
He is busy- and he is very involved in what I refer to ask dicking around on his ipad doing a whole lot of nothing.
Ergo, the boy blames us for the fact that he is not able to sit on his lazy butt and do nothing. The odd thing is he had no clue what he would do if he weren't in college and he doesn't want to be a dish washer for the rest of his life....he wants to do something more but is as clueless as Trouble when it comes to making a reasonable determination.
The cuter half and I had fun tonight, we went on a community walk and we went shopping (a little) and went out for dinner....it was fun. Then we got to come home. Why do we go home after having fun? We should just stay out and away from the noise and confusion.
We got berated, we got told we were stupid, lazy and assholes. Then I got told I was a bitch for not helping the boy with whatever it was he wanted (he lost me at the bitch thing- I decided he was not relevant and I didn't need to listen anymore tonight). Frankly I am not sure why he thought I was a bitch....when the boy starts berating me and the cuter half is when I stop responding or listening to him. Which honestly isn't a good answer; the boy hates being ignored, but there are times when I have to block it out. I cannot handle listening to any more tripe and muck.
On an unrelated issue, still the boy says that God is not there for people like him, he thinks that God doesn't want him or will help him with anything. My thought is that maybe the boy doesn't want God helping him because that means the boy would actually have to work at something and not stay at home.
Honestly, after his church experiences I can't really blame him. Churches are not the most welcoming places to the boy- he has his social bit and most of these people are pretty judgemental and even kids his age won't give him the time of day when he would go.
We had hoped he would make friends when he was in sports in school. That didn't happen either. In fact the boy was walking home from his internship and was asked to come wrestle with the team at practice and his response was, "Why should I come and wrestle with you when you didn't want me here in the first place when I was in school? Why should I come now when you don't want me around anyway?"
Makes sense- even supposed church friends that he used to have don't really want him around. It is work to be around a kid like this- it takes effort and time.
Tonight I know I am tired, and the little bit of freedom we had this evening makes me resent all the stuff we have or have been asked to do this week (which is more than what I am mentioning here). I don't plan on being helpful for those who don't really need it or being responsible for those people either.
Maybe that is why I am annoyed - that stuff and then dealing with the boy drama as well is enough to want to tell people to eff off.
There are two sayings I hear recently and I think both qualify:
"Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn."
and the next one:
"A person who deserves my loyalty receives it." Joyce Maynard
(you may think you deserve my loyalty and I may not concur)