Friday, September 2, 2011

Did you hear......

.....about the girl that auditioned with glass in her hair?
I AM NOT KIDDING.
It was on Enterainment Tonight or something. A girl who auditioned on "Glee" went to her audition in spite of a car collision....she was pulling glass out of her hair during the audition. SHE WAS THAT MOTIVATED. There is a another girl; she is a great actress. And she was MOTIVATED to do her best, audition constantly and she is in movies and in a great TV show (no I never watched it....but she is a great kid).....You need a LOT of motivation if you are in drama, music, art, theatre, cooking, biology, math....EVERYTHING has to do with what is your motivation. Are you motivated to make money? Well that is a motivation but I don't know  if it is a good one; there is a show called SHARK TANK....those people take their motivation and show it to a bunch of "moguls" (another program I don't watch)....but it is interesting.

Motivation is a big thing around here. The cuter one and I are constantly motivating the boy to do something. Sign up for club, go out for sports....DO SOMETHING. Keep busy, be active No sitting on your duff get to work....finish your homework on Friday. Have the weekend free. Do your chores.....clean your room.

IT is easier said than done.
I frankly am motivated by the "Glass Girl" story. She wanted that part in "Glee". She didn't care that she was wiped out from being in a car accident. She was going to get that part no matter what. I wonder how many people are really that motivated. It seems like a lot of us (myself too) get stuck in a rut and don't want to make major changes. "Glass girl" could have said, "Oh no, I am too tired, I was in an accident and I am going home and going to bed." Instead she brushed herself off, got to the audition and GOT THE PART.

Why aren't the Aspies in our life doing that? Some are hurt, maybe emotionally, some are worn out from trying too hard during the school week. Some, like mine, are actually trained NOT to schedule things without checking with the Mom of the house first. These kids need to brush themselves off, FIND there deal, passion or whatever and RUN WITH IT. GO, Run, Hike, TOUCHDOWN.

JUST do it...whatever it is for you. WHO cares if you totalled your car? GO to the audition. WHO cares if the line is around the block? GET UP (EARLY) and GO audition, stand in that stupid line and SING or DANCE your guts out; try it out DON'T give up. NO QUITTING and if you do Quit KNOW that you did everything you could possibly do before you do quit......and be darn sure your parents aren't letting you cop out becuase it is easier for them to accept it. Lee DeWyze went all the way in American Idol....he got up EARLY stood in line and belted out some GREAT STUFF. He has some awesome music coming down and you really should listen if you haven't already. BUT HE DID IT; just like "Glass Girl"

Be your own "Glass Girl" and GO to the audition with glass fragments (or whatever it doesn't HAVE to be glass- she is just an example) in your hair and SHOW PEOPLE WHAT YOU HAVE GOT.
We don't accept the "I have Aspergers and I can't" from our son; don't you accept it either. Kids with Aspergers can do what ever they want to do.....

Try this and see if it works for you:

Do you remember the movie "Holiday"? A rich girl meets an ambitious man, and he decides to take a LONG holiday after making a bunch of money in company reorganization. Prior to him leaving for the holiday, Kathryn Hepburn's character says, "Oh, how I will believe in those peanuts." So, what do we do as parents of Aspies? We believe in the peanuts. It might not seem like much to you or worth much time, to you. That is OK…kids need to dream and maybe you can make the goal and dream a reality.

Now for the tough part; we see goals (or dreams) on 3 levels:

·        Level 1: Reasonable- "I want to be a chef" this is something we KNOW our son can do and it is a reasonable goal and definitely achievable.

·        Level 2: Nice Dream- "I want to be a librarian" this is something that could happen, although the educational part might be a challenge, the actual possibility is there and could be an achievable goal.

·        Level 3: Pipe Dream- "I want to be a physicist" this is not going to happen unless the reality of invention and the math scores and independence do not improve. Do not squelch it, but do not heavily encourage it UNLESS the kid shows definite ability in this area.

Now lets look at this, See Level 1 and Level 2 are pretty similar, not too high in achievement level but not impossible either. Now Level 3 on the other hand…. wow. For some kids, our Level 3 could be their Level 1, but for others "You gotta be kidding, right?"

In this area, if you are not practical yourself (and are able to recognize that fact), you could try to channel Thomas Paine (author of Common Sense) or you could ask a practical family member, psychologist or friend. You might not like what you hear but getting outside advice if you need it is a good idea.

Try it out, see if it works for you.....it may, it may not but having goals is like the audition for "Glass Girl" or Lee Dewyze.....you have to try and Aspies have to try a heck of a lot harder than most people.

Find your glass, find your peanuts....then believe....