Thursday, April 29, 2010

Overloaded.

When I get overloaded, Your voice is my Novocain, When I feel overloaded

Overloaded.
 
That is so classic us. We are constantly overloaded. We don't do other peoples drama well, no, we don't handle it well. Actually, given a option, we don't deal with it at all. Ever. Unless we REALLY like you and then we try to protect you from our drama. Honest, we do.
 
Most of our lives is spent figuring out how to get our son to function. For a LONG time we were rarely sucessful. It has only been in the last year or so that we are actually getting positive results. We are finding that focusing on our church and having God as a focal point is really helping us put things in perspective. Yeah, I know, for those of you who think Christians are morons and that only dorks believe in God. Well let me tell you here and now, you got it backwards.
 
WE have gone with NO church to go to. We went out on a limb and started going to a HUGE place. N and L invited us to a party and we went and we started going to church... and we have never looked back. It was the best choice we could have ever made. WE stretched ourselves.... the last time I had been at the place where the party was, I was about 6 or 7 and visiting my sister who lived in a group home and was helping kids. I called it a commune, but it probably was more like a training center. Anyway, going to this party was a huge deal for us, showing up at someones home and not knowing them, or who else would be there..SO not us. They asked us to come to their church and their support groups and we did and it worked for us.
 
When we started going to this church and they allowed our son the opportunity to go to SS and learn about God in a good place, that was secure, and allowed us to sit thru a sermon without having to go to the hallway and walk our son outside. It was a miracle. We are overjoyed that he has a good, safe environment to go to and learn about God and the world as it stands. We are so blessed. Although, right now we are feeling a tad nervous, we will see what happens.... we are certain that our son will learn and come through this with the support of his group and will be fine. IT is hard to wait and see, though. IT is more like we want to fix it and make it work and we can't it is just something htat has to work itself out.
 
It is hard for us to realize that there are people who have issues with us. In our prior school experiences we never had other parents to deal with. Most of the kids were wards of the state, the red tape was so extensive to have one of the kids here for a play date by the time we were done we may have well adopted one. Although adoption is wonderful, it is not where we are as a family. Anyway, dealing with some of the parents is really different for us. We are close friends with a number of them, warily watch some, and avoid the other. like my Dad used to say, "Use me once, shame on me. Use me twice, shame on you. Use me a third time; guess what, there isn't a third time." One family used us repeatedly for IEP services information. Did they really think we would never find out? DUH. That is the family we avoid...they almost ruined our sons mainstreaming school experience.
 
Anyhow, it is almost like the user family has this thing where they want what we have. It has been kind of a shock to us that people want what we have. SO strange. WE can't imagine others wishing they were us... w'as like us? EWWWW. I think the fact that we are so focused on what needs done for the kid, we forget that others have things going on that may be as bad or worse than what we deal with regularly. We have support, that we sought after, we have friends that we have trusted and nourished. Life is a give and take deal and I don't know how many people have room for that after it is all said and done. We are fortunate. We also work hard at it. FYI- I don't want any more than what I got, just so it is out there.
 
Like yesterday for example, I hate state testing. I know it is to measure the growth of the students and how the schools are doing and blah blah blah. Whatever. My Aspie son comes home SO STRESSED out about these blasted tests, there is no reasoning with him. He doesn't listen and he won't cooperate with me. He slept for almost 15 hours yesterday and woke up today a different kid. He missed dinner and had an enourmous b-fast and went off to school to start a new day. New day, new kid. Works for me, people. But what I am getting at, if my friend called with a problem, yes I would drop whatever it is and help out. Doesn't matter that I am messed up, a friend needs help. when I go back to the kid, the perspective may be different, or like yesterday, he is still sleeping and I am gonna leave him be.
 
God gives us what we have, what we need and eventually where we are going. We need to be happy with what we got and not go after what other people have just because they have it. That is just plain ignorant.

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