Not everyone gets to go.
This is track and field season. Not everyone goes to every meet. There is a meet today and our son is not assigned to go. Not like it is a big disappointment or anything. We have been scheduled for an appt this evening and he would have had to leave anyway.
This is kind of like a life thing. People aren't always invited to go. Not because you aren't good enough, smart enough or strong enough, just there isn't enough room on the bus, and we need the runners more. Sometimes, life changes, or you change and things are just different. It isn't what you thought it was nor will it be what you thought it could be. Like in band, you are just "marking time" (marching in one spot). Aspies don't normally mark time very well. They want the instant gratification.
Last weekend, my Aspie son was a putz. He lost privledges right, left, and center. I decided to "straighten" his room. This means I go through the room, throw things out and take things that he needs a break from. It isn't honest, but it beats having an argument with him. SO several things have gone "missing" I know where they are and as soon as he stops pestering me for them it is more likely they will suddenly "appear". Last night he lost his game controller, the rest are going today, so when we have our party this weekend, the boys can watch movies in his room or play a board game in the dining room, but not play video games, or weather permitting, go outside and play out there. They are gonna love that. All but one of them are what we call house kids, they are indoors all the time and don't like being outside. To me, I see this as instant gratification. It has to happen NOW or I will have a fit; some of that is what video games to do people. As for my son, pestering me to "find" his stuff, I didn't have time to do that today, and I won't have time tomorrow nor next week. I know that is controlling and kind of mean, I don't really care. I have to put up with a surly, unkind kid when he plays these games and anymore it doesn't matter WHAT game he plays he turns into a jerk. So part of helping him is controlling the environment he lives in so we can all learn to live peacefully together.
Yesterday, I read Penelope Trunk's latest post about moving to the farm. It makes sense to me, get out of the over-stimulization and be able to think, breathe a bit and live with the cows...BTW the newborn baby calf was adorable. What a great thing to be able to witness something like that...there is my secret desire to become a vet coming out right? Anyhow, she talks about being able to think, and I believe that my son needs the same time, he needs time to THINK, not play video games or get over stimulated, just think, read a book, do his homework and then watch TV. Last night we watched "History Dectetives" it is a great show and it makes you think about what you are doing and where you are and who did what. Good stuff. It gave us time to think about what is going on and where we are going.
I know, I am strict and kinda mean. In the long run, my son will be happy with me. Well, maybe.
This is kind of like a life thing. People aren't always invited to go. Not because you aren't good enough, smart enough or strong enough, just there isn't enough room on the bus, and we need the runners more. Sometimes, life changes, or you change and things are just different. It isn't what you thought it was nor will it be what you thought it could be. Like in band, you are just "marking time" (marching in one spot). Aspies don't normally mark time very well. They want the instant gratification.
Last weekend, my Aspie son was a putz. He lost privledges right, left, and center. I decided to "straighten" his room. This means I go through the room, throw things out and take things that he needs a break from. It isn't honest, but it beats having an argument with him. SO several things have gone "missing" I know where they are and as soon as he stops pestering me for them it is more likely they will suddenly "appear". Last night he lost his game controller, the rest are going today, so when we have our party this weekend, the boys can watch movies in his room or play a board game in the dining room, but not play video games, or weather permitting, go outside and play out there. They are gonna love that. All but one of them are what we call house kids, they are indoors all the time and don't like being outside. To me, I see this as instant gratification. It has to happen NOW or I will have a fit; some of that is what video games to do people. As for my son, pestering me to "find" his stuff, I didn't have time to do that today, and I won't have time tomorrow nor next week. I know that is controlling and kind of mean, I don't really care. I have to put up with a surly, unkind kid when he plays these games and anymore it doesn't matter WHAT game he plays he turns into a jerk. So part of helping him is controlling the environment he lives in so we can all learn to live peacefully together.
Yesterday, I read Penelope Trunk's latest post about moving to the farm. It makes sense to me, get out of the over-stimulization and be able to think, breathe a bit and live with the cows...BTW the newborn baby calf was adorable. What a great thing to be able to witness something like that...there is my secret desire to become a vet coming out right? Anyhow, she talks about being able to think, and I believe that my son needs the same time, he needs time to THINK, not play video games or get over stimulated, just think, read a book, do his homework and then watch TV. Last night we watched "History Dectetives" it is a great show and it makes you think about what you are doing and where you are and who did what. Good stuff. It gave us time to think about what is going on and where we are going.
I know, I am strict and kinda mean. In the long run, my son will be happy with me. Well, maybe.
Ya know? I must say, I've done similar things with Bradford my 7 year old. I don't think it's mean. It's just that honestly, sometimes Mama knows what her kiddo needs more than he does himself. They won't have us to do this for their entire life, but while they are under our care, we can help them and pray that they get it and make their own time to think. (Which B does from time to time.)
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