Thursday, March 18, 2010

Understanding the details....

I know, 2 in one day, and it is hard enough to follow what we have already written. Bear with me, as I believe that this is kind of important.

This evening we were at an exercise class. This is a class we had developed with the local district to prep autistic kids for PE. In PE it can be over stimulating, and noisy, and distracting. IT appeared that a number of the kids were not capable of running the track without assistance. That was surprising to us. Without a class like this it could mean that autistic kids don't do very well in gym. We had been working with our son for a LONG time to get the ball rolling and the physical therapy and gym workouts were a longstanding part of that process.

To be honest, this class has pretty much taken off. We are on our third or fourth instructor (because of the format, burnout rate is high). I think this instructor is pretty good. During this class, it became apparent to us this evening that we work really hard with our son. Harder than most people would, as we are expecting that our son be able to live on his own, drive a car and keep himself in shape and work out daily problems at home and at a job.

In fact, it was rather concerning, when one of the students, told the instructor he wished to "bash the teacher's head in." In fact, this student meant, "I'm tired." I think it is pretty serious that as parents we allow our kids to "get away with" negative and inappropriate behavior and comments. How can we expect our kids to have a life, hold a job or go to college, when they get mad about having to run or work out in PE? Most people wouldn't tolerate comments like that and it is pretty serious when we are trying to help our kids and they are working to the lowest common denominator.

It scares me that the least of the expectations, like we have, are the most of the expectations for others. I wonder if we need to set the bar MUCH higher for our son. In fact, my husband and I discussed that this evening... the higher the bar is set the more likely our son will meet it. I think the lower bar sets aren't helping anyone... and the higher we old our kids with problems should be an example to everyone else.

Using the autism excuse is not a reason for bad behavior, it is a cop out.