Being Responsible
Teaching the boy to be responsible is kind of like training a puppy.
I know, to some of you delicate ones that is an offensive allegory. However, explaining how we do things to someone we recently met.....well that was the best way to explain what we do.
Our son has been trained/taught to be respectful, to be nice, to not show WHAT he is feeling until he gets home from whereever he is (sometimes he can't help himself but most of the time it works).
He also knows that Aspergers is for his bedroom. He can go there, shut the door and have Aspergers. When he steps OUT of his bedroom his Aspergers is under control and he has to conform to the norms. It's tough. Over all he does pretty well but there are times when he is so buttoned up that he has to burn off steam. We keep telling him to run, work out, burn off the energy and negative feelings. However, there are times when taking the time to do that kind of workout is not possible, what then? The ultimate back up plan is to go someplace and essentially relax until he can come back and hold it together.
Then a good walk or run at a later time will help keep his perspective.
A LONG time ago, there was a study done in England. I wish I had a copy of it. They did this study with kids on the spectrum and what happened was there were 2 groups. One went out to run 2x a day and then did fish oil and some other therapy. The other group did the fish oil only. Believe it or not the first group was the MOST sucessful. The running fueled the endorphins, burned off the energy AND helped the kids focus and be able to study.
That is what we use as a guideline. LEt me say here and now, the cuter one and I are the FURTHEST from jocks you will ever come. We have little or NO athletic ability (although I have seen cute one kick a soccer ball and he was pretty good at it- sometimes I think he is faking so I don't feel bad).
Do a workout....Wii Fit is a fun alternative and competitions can erupt in the MOST unlikely places. I need to use this more...especially when there isn';t time for a brisk walk or it is too cold outside.
Although it is hard, we parents have to show healthy alternatives and working out is a good way to do that. I would like to run but it is really difficult for me....the Wii fit has a running program and it does help.....although I am slow. We don't have to be the best or lift the most or do the fastest we have to show our kids consistency and competition. It is good for them....
Kind of like the time I was teaching the boy to play chess. His goal was to beat me. He did. and now he is learning to out think his competition.....sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.
Make the kids get off the dratted video games and GO OUTSIDE. shoot hoops, run in the back yard. I used to kick the boy and guests OUT of the house and make them go run in the back yard...kick the soccer ball, do SOMETHING but get out of this house and NO you can't play on the computer or watch TV....the video games are still off limits....unless we use the egg timer.
GO RUN!!!!
I know, to some of you delicate ones that is an offensive allegory. However, explaining how we do things to someone we recently met.....well that was the best way to explain what we do.
Our son has been trained/taught to be respectful, to be nice, to not show WHAT he is feeling until he gets home from whereever he is (sometimes he can't help himself but most of the time it works).
He also knows that Aspergers is for his bedroom. He can go there, shut the door and have Aspergers. When he steps OUT of his bedroom his Aspergers is under control and he has to conform to the norms. It's tough. Over all he does pretty well but there are times when he is so buttoned up that he has to burn off steam. We keep telling him to run, work out, burn off the energy and negative feelings. However, there are times when taking the time to do that kind of workout is not possible, what then? The ultimate back up plan is to go someplace and essentially relax until he can come back and hold it together.
Then a good walk or run at a later time will help keep his perspective.
A LONG time ago, there was a study done in England. I wish I had a copy of it. They did this study with kids on the spectrum and what happened was there were 2 groups. One went out to run 2x a day and then did fish oil and some other therapy. The other group did the fish oil only. Believe it or not the first group was the MOST sucessful. The running fueled the endorphins, burned off the energy AND helped the kids focus and be able to study.
That is what we use as a guideline. LEt me say here and now, the cuter one and I are the FURTHEST from jocks you will ever come. We have little or NO athletic ability (although I have seen cute one kick a soccer ball and he was pretty good at it- sometimes I think he is faking so I don't feel bad).
Do a workout....Wii Fit is a fun alternative and competitions can erupt in the MOST unlikely places. I need to use this more...especially when there isn';t time for a brisk walk or it is too cold outside.
Although it is hard, we parents have to show healthy alternatives and working out is a good way to do that. I would like to run but it is really difficult for me....the Wii fit has a running program and it does help.....although I am slow. We don't have to be the best or lift the most or do the fastest we have to show our kids consistency and competition. It is good for them....
Kind of like the time I was teaching the boy to play chess. His goal was to beat me. He did. and now he is learning to out think his competition.....sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.
Make the kids get off the dratted video games and GO OUTSIDE. shoot hoops, run in the back yard. I used to kick the boy and guests OUT of the house and make them go run in the back yard...kick the soccer ball, do SOMETHING but get out of this house and NO you can't play on the computer or watch TV....the video games are still off limits....unless we use the egg timer.
GO RUN!!!!
I will say here that although we are attempting to teach responsiblity....allowing the boy to stay out MUCH too late with a group from a church AND go to a meet the next day is not responsible parenting. HOWEVER, in our defense, we did teach him that doing what he did means he has to learn to "Party with the boys and Wake up with the Men." as a good friend says....it is all a learning experience.
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