I read this last night and I really liked it. I know my life doesn't suck but there are people who think my life does suck and they may have some need to fix it.
On another note, last night we had to explain the spirit of the holidays to the boy. I discussed with him that the persons are dead that originated the holiday but the spirit of it is alive in all who love and give to those in need.
Those in need can be anyone, from a person with no coat to a family member needing a night off from taking care of their disabled kid....to just a simple going out to dinner. There are plenty of opportunities to help. Most gen families don't understand that a simple dinner out can be a strategic planning move for the special ed families and it really does help....all it takes is an hour or so.
I am glad Brian wrote this article. IT really touches home, especially when there are people who think that giving an Aspie a good spank is really gonna help. It doesn't, it only makes the problem worse....we use the removal of privledges....and that seems to help....no TV or video games...loosing a door is always effective. Using a spank is a waste of physical resources on these kids.
What it comes down to is that those who are the most critical are usually those who are in the worst form of denial....I know plenty of people like that. Absolutely never satisfied with anything and constantly keeping secrets (very stupid) I've said this before- as Penelope Trunk says, "Keeping secrets means that other people can treat you like shit." As for the most critical ones, I don't hear from them any longer...and that helps alot. As a parent of kid on the spectrum I am constantly questioning myself. I don't need their disapproval and cruel words to help me get in the "slough of despond".
Brian King wrote this blog post. I have included the link and the part of the blog that I am so intuned with right now is here....
THIS IS GOOD STUFF.....
My Life Sucks So I'll Fix Yours by Brian King
There is a tendency in people to go out of their way to fix the lives of others when their own life is a mess. When listening to others describe the persecutors in their own families and after examining those in mine, this appears to be a common trait. The ones doing the criticising are the ones with the greatest number of problems themselves.
Even those who claim to have it all together as part of their ongoing effort to wrap themselves in a comfy coat of denial, are unable to prevent those around them from seeing the trail of chaos they blaze wherever they go. Especially when they bring it with them to our house.
On a deeper level, when you consider how unhappy these family members are, it's fair to say that the majority of the thoughts going through their heads are self critical. If this is their primary lens on the world then they'll have little else to offer you or your child.