Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day, Omlettes, and what?

I have always thought Mother's Day was special. My poor Mom actually used to dislike the holiday so much, she tells me now that the kids were terrible all day long and it was just a miserable day all the way around. I was the kid who made her unedible breakfast in bed. I only could use the MONGO coffee maker, and I was a terrible cook (harbringer of things to come, I still can't cook).

I guess my point is that today was kindof like Mother's day. We had to do a cooking project for our son, or he had to, we were the prop masters and camera crew. He did a video on cooking omelettes. He had his panic attacks, and other behavior issues in between takes, but did a credible job for a freshman boy who is in a class full of seniors. I am not excited about tomorrow in any way... the boy will be whining and complaining all day, and we are going to a place that I KNOW will be packed with people...UGH. The only good part is my Mom agreed to come with us.

I guess what I am getting at in an oblique way is that everything is different now. Things go so fast, kind of like when Dorothy said of OZ, "People come and go so quickly here." Maybe I am thinking that video taping the boy will keep him at the age he is at, maybe vicariously I am wishing I had more patience when I was younger and not so self concious. My Dad always wanted to take my picture, I rarely ever let him, it seemed like when I came home from college, or a long day at work he would have the camera shoved in my face, "L, go over here and let me take a picture." I miss those days; no, I miss my Dad. I rarely liked a picture of me, and I like them even less now that I am larger than I used to be... I look like a beached whale now...just not a good shot to be had.

I will miss my son as he grows up and away from us; with the pictures my Dad would take, I know now that he felt the same way. I know my husband will miss the boy too. Our son will grow up and away, maybe not as fast as some do, but it will happen. His focus, drive and ambition today was in full force while working on the "show" and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Proud, scared crapless, and worried. That is more emotions than anyone should be handling especially prior to Mother's Day.

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