Sunday, July 15, 2012

punishing the victim

As a rule, the punishment is "innocent until proven guilty".
Sometimes there are video tapes, witnesses and other things to prove a bullying offense for a longer term.

The cuter half and I have determined that alhtough the evidence is there, bullying is allowed and tolerated at our son's school because he is the one that we are told can be moved RATHER than move the bully in these cases. The punishment of the victim happens in many cases not the punishment of the bully. For example, kids leave school to be home schooled, parents move to get their kids out of the situation. We won't. We are NOT leaving and going anywhere.

The most recent school incompetence involves an internship where we have said that our son LOVES and has been at now for 2 years. We swear that this other family must be doing something that allows them to stalk and follow our son from treatment and school activity to another. We don't know WHY the school is allowing this stalking to happen but we are pretty damn tired of it.

We figure is is lassitude on the school's part and some kind of payback for complaining about something or another.

The bully (in our case) is another special ed child, and from what we have heard, has a behavior disorder and self control issues.
WHO CARES? This is yet another case where the kid has to put in the "ALS" or rubber room until he learns to knock it off. Unfortunately, the parents are remants from the 60's - which means they could be compared to over-done-hippies. This bullying situations has gone on for 6+ years. IT has been alllowed to happen and only recently have the cuter and I complained, made comments and otherwise mentioned that we should/could/would get a restraining order.

The other parents have said, "Not my son....he would NEVER do that." Otherwise known as denial- a result of the 60's

Our patience with people like that is non-existant. especially with the video tape in question where we were not allowed to see it by the parents but we allowed them to see it. That to me is appalling and a total lack of justice on their parts. Hippies are pathetic. They seem to want it both ways- "I have to have everything every one else has for their kids" and then, "Don't bring those kids out of that theraputic day school, they are bad kids and are taking resourses away from mine." WHATEVER. If you didn't have your head so far up your butt you would realize that the boy's services and the money put back into the district actually ADDS services for all the kids. Not just yours, ________, _________ (the cuter half made me remove this- it's not nice to call names even if it is true).

FYI-Our son was going to be transitioned out ANYWAY and had earned enough to be able to go to a gen school.....even though the over all education was lessened because in a gen school special ed they teach to the lowest common denominator and not the level of the student in the special ed classroom.....but that is another blog post altogether.

Again this brings to mind the misconsception about the IEP- IT IS INDIVIDUAL. Your kid is not going to have what MY kid has....and visa versa. Each kid is different, Thank you GOD for making us all what we are and who we are. THAT is why the Bible says we are all different. DUH.

This means if you are asking for something that someone elses kid has- STOP asking for whatever it is. For whatever another kid has on their IEP.....my son has different stuff becuase your son can't handle it and can't have it and doesn't know how to behave without an aide standing over him. Other kids have way more freedom than mine or yours.....they can eat off campus, drive to school, do other kid things. My son is different; your kid is different- each kid can do different things.

Deal with it.

Right now, all I can think of is "LEAVE OUR KID ALONE". Essentially, given the age of the boy- this is our son's life you are going after. He is a kid, and as parents of your own kid it is wrong. GET OVER YOURSELVES- your son can't be like ours, and if he were most of the issues that are there would have been dealt with and not excused ages ago. Which explains why our son was able to WORK HIS WAY OUT of a tough school....he has worked hard....done well and is able to do more.

Our son has got over a large number of his behavior issues that were Autism related....and will continue to do so with therapy, hard work and our support. He has more to deal with but at this point he is the victim and being treated like he did something wrong. ALL he did was go to a place he loves- and now, once again, you have ruined the experience for him.

How many times do you have to destroy people? DO you get off on it? You must....it has to be quite a thrill for you. Hope it is the experience you want it to be....the thrill will be gone soon you know.

(Edited by the cuter half- this remark has been removed.)

The boy will be moving on sooner than we all think and realize. Flying higher, and doing more. It is just a matter of time.




1 comment:

  1. I had someone call this evening. Although they recognize that I am annoyed this person did make a viable comment.
    They thought it was possible that the bully's family was emulating what we were doing because of our sucess with it.
    I will agree that is possible; however, copying this stuff so closely isn't trying for sucess....it just makes the other family think you are creepy.
    Which is probably why the cuter half and I don't discuss Religion, Sex or IEPS.

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