Sunday, July 29, 2012

"No one wants to know what you are thinking all of the time"

Funny what one remembers when they see people.

That is a statement that was made to me years ago and I haven't forgotten it.
There are others:
"Thank God you didn't mess that up."- when the cuter half and I announced our engagement.
"You are a terrible mother."(paraphrased)- I hear that one a lot; because I make the boy do things that are outside the Aspie box. I also won't put up with people making fun of the disabled.

My current favorite is one of my own. Although I KNOW this would never ever happen:
"I am too young to be a grandmother."

It is funny what one says, just offhandedly, probably not meaning to be offensive....but these are the comments that stick. The ones that people remember.... the comments about appearance, people's homes, their lives, the stuff that cuts deep....and you might not even realize it.....that is what people remember about you. It comes back to me too....but you know what? I am expected to have a "thicker skin" because people should be allowed to cut parents like the cuter half and I.....we are parent's of "that kid."

Kind of like when you hear, "I don't want my kid to catch what yours has so no we won't come to dinner." or  the doc that told the parents to "put your kid in a home and forget you ever had it"- years later the kid is going to HS and going to graduate.

No, most people don't want to hear what a parent like me has to say. Maybe I don't have as many readers or as many comments as a lot of people. That is not the goal. The goal is to make people think.
Besides, it is better to be the person saying it and making it known that hiding behind some misguided attempt to be pc (politically correct). If people what to be pc that's fine but it doesn't just qualify to what they want it goes for EVERYONE....the elderly, the disabled, the unemployed....the military (who btw protect your right to be pc even when pc is stupid), the homeless, the over qualified, the underqualified....the list is huge. It is not just the people who are on unemployment because they can't find another job....who haven't stopped looking but are so tired of thinking of the have nots and being berated about over buying a home...when in fact the house itself is smaller than their apartment.
Really, thinking outside your comfort zone.......that is all the cuter half and I are doing.

Thinking is a big deal. The cuter half and I are often going outside our perverbial thinking boxes to try new things, to check out what is going on and to be better. We work hard at making the boy do what he can....manage what he can and be what he can. Which is a hell of a lot more than the doc who told us that "he belonged in a home".

We are going to dragon boat races, checking out the local riding schools, looking at water sports.....thinking about activities the boy can do when he gets out of HS to learn something new. It is all part of thinking. Really, it is planning....and yes maybe dreams are nice things. but you know what....it is better than having them squashed and the least likely is the most likely to be successful.






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