Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Hello, it's me

I think the cuter half is confused.

He keeps telling me I love certain movies that I really don't care to watch or see again. I think he is either drunk, gone stupid or accidentally stoned and forgot to tell me.

Not really.

I think he is trying to talk me into liking certain things so I will sit there and be mind numbingly bored and he can justify sitting in his recliner and not having to do anything. I am not up for that right now.

Actually, I kind of have a conceptual issue.
It isn't something I would normally talk about but it is really bothering me. Wait- what am I saying? I normally talk about a lot of things on here that are probably pretty offensive and very indelicately worded-

Here it is: we are finding that we hear from people only if we can do something for them. We don't really mind being the "go to" person but it would be kind of nice if it were reciprocal and we don't feel like we can really bother some people with what is going on. We are happy and proud of the boy and we are concerned that it might sound bad if we say anything so generally we don't talk much about it at all if we can avoid it...

Other people who call and make demands are just doing that making demands and then they leave and we don't know where they are, what they are doing or honestly care that much.Those aren't the ones I am refering to in the above paragraph. It is the ones where I feel like we are being used and once we are out of whatever it is then our usefullness is over so all is fair to be dumped and move onto the next ones....we are used to it but it is still something that kind of grates on us.

A Sunday school teacher once told me that I was using the aide in the Sunday class (the aide was there for my son, not to help the teacher teach the class) and after that I have been very conscious about NOT intentionally using people (on another note, why in the world would I want to go to church after that experience??? I should have figured it out then- it was a sign from God, I know it). I know, I have not been perfect....but damn it I try not to be a user.
Most parents in our position use whatever they can, whoever they can however they can. Kind of like an easy girl on a cheap date (bad allegory; the only one I could think of). Yes, I have explained this  line of thought to the cuter half and he agrees that there are special ed families that do that.
Now, if you talk to certain people, they will swear we would use anyone all the time at any time. They are the same people who think that their kids are perfect and don't go around with a bag spinning on their heads too. We work hard with the boy. He doesn't get away with poor behavior, bag spinning, or bad grades....we are very tough and have exceedingly high standards.

Most of the time I am figuring that we just aren't on the same wavelength with some people. Either that or the cuter half and I are swearing something is wrong with us. We view things so differently.

For ourselves we are looking at the boy getting his drivers license, graduation and other things coming down the pike.....it seems like the plans we have are MUCH different than the plans most people have. No living out of the basement here (no basement....the crawl space is too shallow and there isn't a good direct entrance).

 Or maybe I am just hormonal (definitely possible) or bummed out and tired (also possible).

Maybe I am on mental overload....it may be time to lock myself in the bathroom and just read an old trashy book and forget for awhile.....if you have ever read a victorian novel they put the modern ones to shame. No sex but seriously the other stuff is really eye opening (read Vivia) Trust me....get over the old brittle pages and old binding and.....well you will see.







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