Monday, January 23, 2012

Why is it

When I write about sex or m__________ I get a bazillion hits.
When I write about life, I get a couple.
If I write about experiences; usually the worse the better readership.
Writing about food, diets, what happened here at home - YAWN.
Well today we are talking about what we can't have.
Historically people always want what they ain't got. From the dark ages thru the Reinassance the rich got richer, the poor got poorer and there wasn't no Mr. Inbetween.

We have dealt with a lot over the last year or so.
Life changed on us several times- repeatedly.
The boy has been "doing private things" and has been dealing with social relationships. He is also trying to learn things about life.

As I explained to him the other day, because he has Aspergers that means he has to work harder, try more, do more and do whatever it is he thinks he can.

And like our friends Bing and Bette, accenting the positive is what has to be done. Even if I don't wannter.
Eliminating the negative can come in several venues. Moving on from negative experiences, or people who are negative.....making your own changes or choices that's a big one too.

But writing about what we can't have; people want what they haven't got....song lyrics galore about that one.....Sinead O'Connor did a wonderful song, "I do not want what I haven't got." and you know, even if you got what you want people still want more. Oddly enough, Cuter half and I are attempting to downsize. We have stuff to sell on E-bay and we need to not be attached to garage sale finds and see if we could make enough to pay off the house.

In a sick and demented way, parents of kids like ours want what other kids have on their IEPS. Did you know that there are people who would sell their souls for what other people's kids have on their IEPS? Seriously, there are and I would wager they would.....I am wondering if we should offer up our son's to the highest bidder when he graduates just to see if we could make college tuition.

People have used us for IEP information. I was naive enough to believe that a friend was a real friend until I found out I was being used and pumped for information about what was on my son's IEP. It was then that cuter half and I decided that we would sooner discuss sex, drugs and rock and roll that divulge IEP status.

It hurt.

Being the kind of person that I am, and the cuter half as well, we aren't into using people. In fact, I had an experience with a Sunday School teacher who accused me of using my son's aide in her Sunday School class because I expected the aide to be an aide and NOT an assistant for this woman's Sunday School. This happened when the boy was small, he was about four or five at the time. I was dumbstruck...and the worst of it? It was over M&M's. GIVE ME A BREAK. My son didn't kick the Bible....he grabbed M&M's and this woman yelled at him and then told me that I was not a good parent, a good Christian or a good person.
I called the pastors and the board and then she got removed/ resigned from the class. Doesn't matter how much they give, the compassion wasn't there. I wanted to leave church then, my parents wouldn't let me. Withdrawing is a common practice with families like ours; kind of like a turtle or a snail, hiding into the shell.

I have dreaded that "user" moniker ever since. I've always said "Charity begins at home" If we aren't charitable at home with the immediate family, how can we be charitable outside of it. We haven't been perfect with this, we've made mistakes....one of them when the boy was older; and that has been harder for us to get over. Sadly enough, to the best of our ability we have gone out of our way NOT to use other parents to do something, get something or be something we aren't. As parents of a different district that where we live, we still don't know a lot of people. When the boy was younger we simply didn't have the access; although at one point the cuter half and I were the school supply suppliers, we were the people they called if someone needed books, a coat or shoes. We were helpful. We believed in God, Karma and doing nice things for those who need it.

Where we got suckered was thinking that some people needed help that really didn't. Taking advantage of  others was not something we were into and it turns out that we were, in a bizarre turn of events taken advantage of and expected to come back and say, "Yes sir may we have some more?"
We are still getting ourselves back. last week was tough, the boy was not grasping what needed to be done and too unmotivated to do things correctly.

I wonder if we are missing the program or just creating our own?



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