Tuesday, March 29, 2011

you can't always get what you want

But you may get what you need.
I loved that old song.....

my son is being Mr. Ed....in fact that is his new nickname....what does it mean? It means he is being a nag and driving us nuts, the more he nags the more we say NO the more we say no the more he nags. It is a vicious cycle....

One would think by this juncture in his life he would have worked out that nagging me only gets him in trouble and that if he continues to nag I will make certain that punishments/groundings for longer periods are forthcoming. I don't do nagging, my parents tried and after me locking myself in my bedroom and not coming out for along while...nagging was discontinued as an ineffective way to get me to do something. Same goes for my kid.....he nags and I am so done with that bit. I shut down and stop listening to him...then I do the unthinkable (to him anyway)....what do I do, I turn away and say...........


His response has been, "What did I do? What did I do? I didn't do anything to you." No you didn't physically DO anything to us.....but mentally you are driving us nuts so go over there sit down and shut up and if you talk you will get grounded for another six weeks. We think that the down time or the "Quiet Zone" gives us a break and eventually he will come out of his room and tell us he realizes that he didn't really want what he thought he wanted because he fell for the advertising.

Mostly he nags about watching TV, downloading Applications on a school I-Pad (with permission) and the fact that he wants whta he wants when he wants it. As a parent, or a responsible parent it is best to do things this way....be selfish and SAY NO. It is easier to say Yes....it is the nuts and bolts of learning as a parent to say NO.....therefore I say NO.

Oh and when does their voice start changing? We still get that high pitched pendantic voice that drives me to drink....Please tell me it will happen soon....we are running out of our favorite wines.

I think that we are very good at what we do, and we are trying to get the boy to get over his wants and catch up to what he NEEDS to do....which is develop beyond the great frontier of electronic video games and start acting like a 16 going on 17 year old kid. But that gets me back to my old way of doing things and being "anti video game" I still think kicking the kids out of the house to play in the yard is acceptable. WHO cares if they rip up the brick steps and muck around in the dirt? Being BORED is a regular part of life. I spent 90% of my vacations as a kid being bored out of my flipping mind. I have no issues with kids being bored.....let them smush ants on the sidewalk or wait for the bus and peel sticks. It won't hurt them and it is better than other things they could be doing (like nagging you for stuff they don't need).

A new goal could be "My kid needs to learn to sit over there not do anything and be bored." I wonder how that would go over at an IEP? It's a thought. I would be curious to see how the goal would be formatted so if anyone does have the guts to try it let me know what happens....if nothing else we can be amused by the dumbfounded expressions on the teams faces....it could be worth a good laugh.

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