Monday, March 21, 2011

Listening

Have you ever truely listened to your kid?
Aspies can go on FOREVER about a myriad of topics. The other day a friend of my son's told me that she discovered that the boy was really very intelligent. She was working on a paper and he asked her what she was doing and then he started doing the encyclopedia thing....he started telling her that there were some different facts that she might want to use and started detailing them for her. She was able to add the materials and still figure out that he was a nice person once you got under all the talking.....

There are parts in the Bible that discuss listening....how to listen to God, things like that. Are you able to listen to God? I will admit it is not my strong suit. I am able to ask God lots of questions or pray for lots of  people or situations......but listen? Be still? that is not part of the project here.....doesn't happen often enough.

Lately listening has become an issue in our house. We are normally SO verbal all the time....it is how things are with constantly having to explain things (details; how to fold a bed sheet). It is a doss to figure things out....even when to take a shower can be a big issue. At one point I couldn't shower before the boy went to bed; there would be an argument...or some other problem and I didn't dare take the time.....by the time the boy got into bed it was all I could do not to drop asleep on the family room floor (it's laminate, not very comfy). So I would think, "Oh I will get to it in the AM." Well there is no time in the AM, then I would get home from work and have to run here or run there...no time then. Then get home and finally think, "NOW I get to take a shower." Nope....no time gotta help with homework or clean the cat box....

The 2 guys in the house take showers.....they must stink a lot....but they have time. As for me, I fit my shower in whenever I can get it. If I don't stop and listen there, then and how, I might miss something important (doubt it but one never knows).

Anyway back to listening, it is easy to tell when the boy isn't listening. The eyes glaze over, the nail biting or the scrathing of a head (fuzz now, since Baldericks) and staring off into space.....typical teen stance of "OMG Iam so beyond bored." I know how he feels. I get that way too but being an adult we can't really do that stuff anymore so we have to make ourselves listen and try really hard to understand where people are coming from.

Maybe finding what we are looking for would help too, ya think? You know where I am going right, and it isn't Talking Heads this time, it is U-2......


It is possible that listening has something to do with knowing what you are looking for...or maybe it is the challenge of teaching an Aspie to listen, understand and care about what is going on around him that makes it even better....
Rhetorically speaking, (which means I don't really want and answer to this question; I would LIKE you to thin about it and apply it to YOURSELVES) What is is that you are looking for and how does it relate to what your kid needs and does? I think lately this is really relevant and should be applied to more than just one type of family...it is not for Aspie families alone, but all kinds and the gens are included too.