Monday, October 1, 2012

Sometimes books speak.

There are times when I re-read stories.
Ok there are more than  just a few times. In the last couple of years the boy is exhausting to the cuter half and I- which means  I will re-read books to quiet my mind...to stop fussing or to just to be still. I need something that I can think about - ponder and be still....I have hidden myself in books for years....to block things out to not think and to take my mind off of whatever the thing is....the cuter half can loose himself in a good tv plot...I get antsy and bored with tv.

If you haven't read it....or seen the movie, The Help, is a really good story about the deep south. I don't know a lot about the Civil Rights movement. This story is fictional and is very situational in location and details. In addition the author used what seems to be a lot of her personal experience.....which is delinated at the end of the book.

Anyway, tonight I was reading the part where the maid, Constantine was talking to the girl, Skeeter; Constantine asked Skeeter a question when her (Skeeter's) brother's friend mentioned that she was ugly. I am going to include a good part of the section because I think it is relevant to where I am going:

"I told her what the boy had called me, tears streaming down my face.
"Well? Is you?"
I blinked, paused my crying , "Is I what?"
"Now you look a here Eugenia- UGLY live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful mean person. Is you one a them peoples?"
"I don't know. I don't think so," I sobbed.
"Ever morning, until you dead in the ground you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, Am I gone beleive what them fools say about me today?"
Later in the section Skeeter realized that she actually had a CHOICE in what she could believe.

I think we all have choices about what we believe about ourselves, our faith and our reactions.
Although the cuter half and I aren't glorious at it we are teaching the boy that being disabled isn't a negative or something to use to get what he wants. He needs to make his Aspergers work for him. Again, the cuter half and I aren't perfection about our own reactions but we will be ____if anyone is allowed to make fun, or take advantage of a person with a disablility.

Oh, and do I believe what people say about me? If it is negative...no probably not. Most of the time those people have an axe to grind....or they are so unhappy themselves they think that taking it out on someone who has to live with their disabled child is OK. Either that, or they don't get it, aren't the "race that knows Joseph" or are merely looking to poke holes at someone when they have worse issues themselves.
Most of the time if people get hyper critical of what we are doing with the boy and how we are doing it at that juncture I offer to allow him to visit and see what they would do. I have yet to have anyone want to try- which means those negative people do not have the courage of their convictions. If you don't know what that means- one defintion is here: If you have the courage of your convictions, you are brave enough to do what you feel is right, despite any pressure for you to do something different. I know we are doing things right with the boy even though there are times when I, and the cuter half are too tired to see if it really is working or not.

For example, tonight we were going to garden....pull out some weeds and put in a little walkway....after 1 hour of the cuter half tutoring the boy in algebra it didn't happen. Instead the cuter half and I went on a long vigourous walk and a brief shopping trip. I have drunk WAY too much coffee and it has been a LONG night of it.
Which would explain why I went back to reading books on my iphone and I pulled up this one. the beauty of having eletronic books.....and The Help popped up.....ergo, the speaking book.....

BTW, the cuter half doesn't believe that being negative is helpful either.....
He is really cute too....I really am a lucky girl.

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