Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Not handling things well today

The meltdowns are back.

THe calm didn't last long did it?

The cuter half and the boy are studying. I was there to "help" and the yelling began. The boy was faux sleeping and I got mad and starting asking questions....hard questions.

Probably harder questions that the teacher would (considering that teachers have ZERO expectations so it really didn't take much).

After the boy had a hissy fit and me getting poked and kicked at...I showed my parenting maturity (not really) I threw a 1/4 glass of water at the boy and walked out of the room.
Practically speaking, when the boy and the cuter half go to bed I can clean the family room floor....so there was a positive for getting water on the floor.

I am not handling things well. Tonight I have had close the home office door. I don't want to hear about this trype any more.

THe boy is busy blaming us for his lack of interesting in probably one of the more boring chapters that he has had to study. The yelling and swearing is pretty bad.

I am not innocent.
I can curse like the proverbial truck driver when I am mad enough.
I am mad enough.

I am tired of being blamed for ever God-blessed thing that this kid is telling me is my fault when I have nothing to do with it. .
I am tired of the person I have become because of having a disabled kid on the spectrum. My nature is not that intense....I was generally pretty laid back and don't get too hot and bothered about things. Not so since I had the boy. Everything is a problem. I feel like I am with my ex-husband all over again.

I used to be fun.
I used to have fun.

I am worn out from fighting with this kid.

The cuter half is being patient now. I blew my top and walked away.

Not the example of good parenting this evening that is for sure. At least there is a door I can close.

GOD - please make me not care, please make me dumb, ditzy and stupid. Then maybe when my kid tells me that I am poor excuse for a mother it won't hurt my feelings so much.

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