Monday, September 17, 2012

using media and parenting

the boy is taking a class in media analysis .

First off - total oxymoron- an aspie in a media analysis class. This means he has to go OUTSIDE his box to understand what is going on.
Then he has to comprehend and learn about popular topics of the day. This can be using FB, twitter and other media to become social in the ultimate world wide web....there is a lot of exposure and a lot going on.

Let me say here and now.....we have encouraged the boy to watch programs that he will flat out tell us, "That is completely inappropriate." With arm movement (covering eyes) and walking out of the room. My goodness our cats will watch Jersey Shore and the boy won't have anything to do with it.

This alone has the cute one and I beleiving that we are parents out of the 60's...we are so straightlaced and completely boring that the boy's teachers suggestion that the boy do a paper on the 1960's Batman program and the cultutal mores of that time....well in our house it might actually work. Ironically, the cute one and I are really not that boring but it sure seems that way....we have goals and are strict with the boy....automatically up for most boring, awful parent least that is what we hear.

I think what brought this topic up tonight was at dinner time...we were doing a "pick up dinner" which basically means watching in front of TV and chilling out...the boy was working on a study guide and didn't wish to talk to us...
So the cuter half and I were watching Dina Lohan's interview on Extra or whatever that program with Billy Bush is called. Dina appears to be a person that has been her kid's friend and not really a parent.
There is a difference.
Now, I am friends with my Mom, she is in her 90's, our relationship has evolved to the friend point and we depend on each was a parenting relationship up until I got out of college.
Dina and her daughters don't seem to have that parenting role down...Dina never made it happen and she is the one making the whacky excuses.Making dumb excuses is not parenting.

Parenting is being the bad guy.
Parenting is being the person that is saying "No." or the one saying, "If you want to be in x you have to stay in y and you have to get all A's and B's"
Parenting is being the person you can call at midnight and not get yelled at.
Parenting is putting up with a homesick college student and helping them figure out what is going on when you get told you MUST change your major.
Parenting is saying, "No." and meaning it.
Parenting is being responsible and grown up even if you don't feel like it.
Parenting is telling your daughter that her son has a problem and we have to figure out how to fix it.
Parenting is going with your son/ daugher to an evaluation even when it is hard and we will be there for a long time.
Parenting is using a harness on your grandchild at the store when you don't want to.
Parenting is listening you your son/daughter; even though you think it is wrong you respect them enough to do what they ask you to do anyway.
Parenting is being the person you don't like or want to be but you hafta to teach your kid how to do what they need to do to grow up.

And you know what? Luckily, MY parents were like that. They helped me with the boy when no one else would. They helped me before that. and Best of all, they were my PARENTS.
They certainly were not my friends when I was growing up....I was fortunate to be guided by my Mom, and my Dad when he was alive, are my friends.....but we all had to adjust and grow up before that happened. It wasn't a thing where we all said, "Oh look you are out of college -lets be buddies. Can I buy you that _____ now?" No, it was much more of a process and belive me we all learned from it.

The same is happening with the boy. The boy is learning to think independently and his ideas are good ones. He has a lot of things to say...and this media class is teaching him to think outside his aspie box. It is nice to see.

After seeing Dina Lohan tonight I think I am glad that I haven't hurt myself trying to be my kid's bff. That is a mistake that she is responsible for the rest of her life and beyond.

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