Saturday, September 8, 2012

It is all planned out.

Making plans....or "The best laid plans of mice and mem."
Organization or "Setting it up in advance."

The boy needs to get better at making plans. He has been casting out contacts to friends at the last available minute and hoping someone can come by or hang out.

He is not planning ahead or using his time wisely.

Kind of like estate planning for disabled families or just setting up your dream vacation....it is all planned. You know where you are going, what you are doing and how it is gonna be.
For example, the boy is back in school. He has some club obligations up until his sports start and he has a lot to do....his scheduling is rather limited...and he has been trained.
Yes trained.
He has been trained to ASK if he can make plans and if it fits in the house schedule. Not to just go ahead and do it.... and find out he is walking to the neighboring town (sounds further than it actually is) because the cute one and I can't give him a ride.

Oddly enough, most people think we are really controlling. The thing is (yup there is that "thing") I was raised in a similar way....in fact, after talking to my Mom it came out that there were times when I would ask her if I could do something and she would say "No" for no reason at all.
Maybe she decided that saying "No" was the best option, or maybe it was the way I asked or maybe it was just "No".

I think more people should say "No." I do it and  here it a lot. And I know, I have mentioned this before but there is an age group that doesn't or never had heard "No" this is the same group that everyone gets an award and there are no winners and loosers and the rules are optional. Excuses run rampant.....and in our case although we have a darned good reason most of the time we bite the bullet and just do whatever we need to do....and are teaching the boy to be the same.

This week we heard that the boy is nice. He is likeable and friendly. For example, the other morning he had forgotten his lunch. I didn't really feel like going to the school to drop it off but I did. When I got there I was greeted by the guard and when I explained what I needed; she said, "Oh (the boy). I know him. He is one of the ones who says, "Good Morning" and "Hello". We always remember the nice ones." Then I was told, that she would take care of his lunch and make certain he got it. On my part it was nice to know that the boy uses good manners (he better).
One of our neighbors said the same thing, "He always says "Good morning" on the way to school."

SO what does this mean? The cuter half and I have always told him that doing the nice thing, being polite means a lot. People appreciate it. I think cute one and I have felt more so about the manners thing after taking him to PT and seeing other kids grab the candy box and hearing, "Take 2 one for each hand." by the parents and the therapist asking the kids to only take 1.....it was then that we decided to drill manners into the boy. He doesn't always use them....there are times when the brain doesn't work like it should and the aspergers obessions take over and manners are out the window.

I have been worried about the boy in the long haul....how will he do? What will he do? the meeting we attended was, well it was......something. I don't know what it was. There wasn't much they could do for the past and how we got screwed by the school and that the school f-ed up the goal that was supposedly in place because they didn't feel like doing things the way they should.....it isnt' the people we spoke to's fault and naturally the "decision makers" aren't there anymore.
So where does that leave us? Well technically the boy could stay there until he is in his early 20's....and the cute one and I would be having heart attacks and nervous breakdowns....prior to the meeting and after I am at about 6-9 cups of coffee a day and munching out much more than I ever should. Ergo the stress of the boy sticking it out is likely to kill his parents.

I wonder what Elizabeth Bennett would do?  I would like to think that graciousness would be appropriate- but then I still want to tell the school where to go....and I don't mean that politely either.

I wonder what we should do? (find a nice chocolate chip cookie or learn to wii box to get out the frustration and the anger)
I think a countdown to the future is going to be in order...which goes back to the planning ahead thing


the cuter half and I mini golfing- we planned ahead and got rained on......my hair is as fuzzed up as my poncho :-).
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