Tuesday, May 15, 2012

working the systems at home.

Lately I have been hearing a lot about ownership.....we own what we do at work, good or bad. At home, and in life.

I had lived for many years with more regrets about missed opportunities, missed friends and lost items. A broken cappuccino maker, a busted gold chain.....I used to think that omens were in such things. I guess I was extremely superstitious....or just extremely stupid. Either way, seeing these broken things is kind of like seeing something that wasn't well cared for......if you take care of whatever it is you won't wonder why it got broke (wore out) or how it got busted (OOPS dropped it again).

As much as the cute one and I are tough....we do love our son. We are finding that we are tired. Kind of like the people who never take a day off of work. The burn out rate with families with kids like ours is really high. Teachers rarely last longer than a couple years. Which if you think about it.... that is kind of funny. Parents do it for life, but teachers don't and the teachers have the power to make a parents life extremely difficult. Esprecially parents like us.

NOW I am not saying that all teachers do that. I am just making a random observation. I found out today about an EXTREMELY helpful newsletter that isn't even making home to the families. I got several electronic copies. THESE aren't for the teachers....or assorted staff. THIS IS FOR THE PARENTS....so fork em over and give them to the people that NEED the information instead of keeping it or tossing it in recycling.

The boy right now appears to be a tad broken....not in the physical or mental sense but just off center. I have checked the barometric pressure and there seems to be some change....which means we are dealing with some issues that should have been DONE a long time ago.

I know, like the cute one said, "We have to hope...." and another friend mentioned that "If dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough." Being in my funk, both thoughts make me sad. I am truely afraid of both.....the hope and the dreaming.....not knowing what to expect means that my normal reaction is to grip the reigns and hold in. THis is a learned reaction though, when I was younger I would jump in with my laugh and both feet first.....now I am more apt to edge slowly to see what will happen.

I kind of miss the old way.

I don't know what the boy will be able to do or where he will go or what will happen....that is more than scary to me.


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