Saturday, April 30, 2011

Making the bed

Have you ever heard the phrase, "You have made your bed, now lie in it"

Sometimes I think my son does that....he makes a mess then expects other people to clean up after him. Today things were different. He is looking for a specific book. Heaven knows where this book is probably in our attic. Anyway, we can't find it and because it isn't easly located the OCD starts in and the pentantic nagging begins. It is designed to wear us down and make us do whatever he wants.

It doesn't work very well.

Like I have said before, nagging me to do something means I am not doing it. No matter what, Don't waste your breath, or your time. I won't do something when I have been nagged. The boy hasn't quite caught onto that yet. He still thinks I am maleable and able to do whatever he wants when he asks.....kind of like badgering me into getting him a video game he isn;t allowed to play. It makes no sense. He knows I am not some kind of push over but he still trys to get me to do whatever to see if I will.

Lots of times Austim makes no sense, except to the person with it. It hit home today that when something is important to the person with Aspergers it is REALLY important. But if something isn't then it is automatically forgotten. A homework assignment my son had was for comparing versions of Cryano via the play, and 2 movie versons. He kept insisting he didn't remember the movies or even the play. Finally when I told him he wouldn't be leaving the office until at least a format was written and I left the room. He spent more time yelling about how he couldnt' be expected to remember something he saw a month ago....but then comes back with a word for word version of a commercial he saw. As some would say, "Bollocks!" In the end he wrote the paper, there were minor changes and he printed it off and we went onto the next assignment. It would make our lives easier if he would actually be able to hand in the assignements when he has them done. Most teachers say that something is due and then when most of the class isn't done they extend the assignement. Nuts. But really what it comes down to is the boy needs to put up shut up and get the work done.

As for is time to make the bed. Maybe the boy will learn that making the bed and laying in it are all in the way life is dealt with.
I am not good or patient with life very often. I don't have the resources to be patient...I know gift from God and all that. BUT (and here on a good day I would say "but me no buts") the fact that I always say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle still makes me question why God picked me in the first place. There is an allegory I heard a while back about how having a child with a disability is kind of like planing a tour of a foreign city. I certainly didn't ask for this trip to Holland. I wanted to go to France. Yet I am in Holland, and it is lovely here but very lonely because I don't always speak the same language and we don't have many friends.There are days that it gets lonely for the 3 of us. then there are other days when the tulips are in bloom, the windmills are running and the grass is green. We move around quickly and are able to go further than ever before. Then there are other days where we can't move about at all. The "wanter" gets stuck and the "gimmes" come to fore....those days are long.

It really is time to make the bed.