Saying No
When someone says "No" it really defines the conversation. I am reminded of an acting class I heard about at Second City where the ad-lib is ongoing "We are going to ride in the boat." "Let's go over here, OMG look at the whale." - "No" is not part of the program.....no stops the whale from overtaking the boat and making the characters swim...."No" means "No".
I am finding that the word "No" without further explanation is really helpful. It means that as a parent of a special needs kid I am allowed to comfortably offer the same without guilt or recriminations.
What a freeing thing. Especially right now, the cuter half and I have little or now room for extras- and we are so exhausted it hurts to breathe.
I have done other posts on saying "No" - they were more in line with saying "No" to speeches, programs or doing something outside of our box before we were ready.
Now I can say "No" and not feel like we are not doing something we ought to have done.
"Maybe" works too, the boy has finally gotten a handle on "Maybe" - in "Mom-speak" at our home "Maybe" is akin to "No, not very likely". A firm "Maybe" means "Not likely, as I am sure I can find a bazillion other things to do in this lifetime and the next." He usually gets this kind of "Maybe" when I have been informed we are going to Best Buy, Gamestop or some other place that fills my little heart with a lot of dread.
Right now we are learning to tutor the boy in some different experiences. We are getting "professional" help and we are also stress eating. Stress eating here means chug-a-lugging the Starbucks Iced coffees or eating all of the chocolate covered anything without ceasing. We are real healthy with the stress eating stuff. I start craving egg sandwiches and the cuterhalf wants roasted peanuts. The cuter half tells me that tonight he is going to "Start on the peach pie." and yes I did tell him "No".
So what else can I start saying "No" to....hmmmm I could say "No" to doing laundry, messing with cat food (mixing green beans, cod liver oil and fish is such a fun thing at 5 AM) or even "No" to matching socks.....it is a pretty heady and liberating thing saying "No".....
This is gonna last about a week and then we will start over loading again....but for now, we can say "No".
I am finding that the word "No" without further explanation is really helpful. It means that as a parent of a special needs kid I am allowed to comfortably offer the same without guilt or recriminations.
What a freeing thing. Especially right now, the cuter half and I have little or now room for extras- and we are so exhausted it hurts to breathe.
I have done other posts on saying "No" - they were more in line with saying "No" to speeches, programs or doing something outside of our box before we were ready.
Now I can say "No" and not feel like we are not doing something we ought to have done.
"Maybe" works too, the boy has finally gotten a handle on "Maybe" - in "Mom-speak" at our home "Maybe" is akin to "No, not very likely". A firm "Maybe" means "Not likely, as I am sure I can find a bazillion other things to do in this lifetime and the next." He usually gets this kind of "Maybe" when I have been informed we are going to Best Buy, Gamestop or some other place that fills my little heart with a lot of dread.
Right now we are learning to tutor the boy in some different experiences. We are getting "professional" help and we are also stress eating. Stress eating here means chug-a-lugging the Starbucks Iced coffees or eating all of the chocolate covered anything without ceasing. We are real healthy with the stress eating stuff. I start craving egg sandwiches and the cuterhalf wants roasted peanuts. The cuter half tells me that tonight he is going to "Start on the peach pie." and yes I did tell him "No".
So what else can I start saying "No" to....hmmmm I could say "No" to doing laundry, messing with cat food (mixing green beans, cod liver oil and fish is such a fun thing at 5 AM) or even "No" to matching socks.....it is a pretty heady and liberating thing saying "No".....
This is gonna last about a week and then we will start over loading again....but for now, we can say "No".
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