We had a gi-nourmous dust up here last night. It was big, bad and awful. Trying to get the boy to do some homework. Understanding his adjustments to new places, classes, and organization. The boy not only had a meltdown - he was unable to verbalize the real problems...his inability to comprehend an obtuse lit teacher who apparently has an ego....or maybe he really is that cool, who knows? The boy likes the class and thinks pretty highly of the teacher so far....I am a little concerned but the book the teacher wrote for class is pretty decent. Which for a textbook is saying something.
The fight amongst the guys was big, bad and UOGLY.
After re-inventing the ground rules - the Mom of the house took over. I told the boy that he had a month to change his attitude or we would be finding him a suitable place to go. I told the boy to read his lit homework and stay in his room. I told the cuter half to stay away from the boy and don't talk to him. I was very busy being the unglorified referee. I was trying to keep peace in a war zone. I know you think I am exaggerating but I am not. This part of the "Mom-job" totally sucks.
Today I insisted that the boy text only NO CALLING and the boy was NOT ALLOWED to contact his dad. At all. The arguing could start up again and I wasn't having any.
Tonight, while discussing the boy's paper, it came out. "I don't want to leave you and Daddy yet. I am not ready to go and I am too dependent on you. I need help. I don't understand this class and I don't get what I am supposed to do."
Holy Shit Batman.
So this can go one of two ways, we are either pushing the boy hard enough, doing it right and helping at the right times. OR we should go get wasted because the boy actually came up with an insight all on his own - that with his Aspergers there is no way in freaking hell he would ever recognize it (even if it came up and bit him on the nose).
I am guess we should be doing a combination of both and then telling the people who don't think he can do anything to eff off.
Actually, the autism thing is really getting to me. There are educators who are like poison in the community. They think that it is OK for these kids to flap, spin with bags on their heads and quack like ducks. The "stimming" should be accepted and that these kids should not be forced to do anything. I have a problem with that.
Maybe because my son was forced into a really crappy situation. He was pushed, locked in the "rubber room" restrained (I signed off on it and sent "We are sorry" cards to a teacher my son kicked in the balls). My son can drive a car, sit in a classroom, and do his homework.
He also can fall apart and keep his Aspergers in his bedroom because, as we have told him his bedroom is what falling apart is for. Doing so in public is not an acceptable option.
The people who think our kids can't do anything really need to shove off. I am seeing the poison now in the current educational community we are now in. It is dreadful....you have no idea.
Yes we know, the boy can't be dependent on us forever. However, do you realize how big it is that he KNOWS he is dependent and although he KNOWS he needs to make a change and is not ready to do so yet that means he is in a good place and when he is ready it will be so much easier for him long term?
THAT is worth celebrating....where is the chocolate vodka? We need some martinis.