Whether you like it or not
do not waste my time. You knew we were coming and what time we would be there. Our time is valuable and there are plenty of things we could be doing rather than waiting around for you to decide to show up for something that you supposedly wanted to do.
Oh and 17+ minutes wait time is more than adequate since this was your arrangement and your timeframe.
The boy has to schedule himself and that we have enough time for doc appointments and we go to see friends or the boy has company here.....we have daily things we have to get done and we don't have a ton of time to wait and play games.....missing us by only minutes makes you look a fool....there was no way you could have not passed us unless it was intentional.
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The lack of time that a family like ours has is almost appalling. We go from activity to activity like a drill sergeant and his new recruits. Our weekdays are very busy; our weekends normally less structured but still active. We have things we like to do and people we want to see.
The above was written a LONG time ago. Naturally, I was venting and never finished it (probably a good thing). But really it comes down to having respect and good manners for the other people. Like in Divine Secrets, "How kind can you bear to be?" If you go someplace or somewhere it is merely polite to be where you said you were going to be. This is something we are teaching the boy; be polite, say "Please" and "Thank You". Help those in need and volunteer when you can....take the time and make the time and be ON TIME. Are we perfect at it? Heavens no. But we are not taking time and wasting time on things that we know we are not going to be able to handle.....
The boy is learning that this summer is all about timing.
Like the recruit; he goes from one location, to another to another to another then finally home. He works hard. He plays hard and he tries HARD to keep on the schedule and BE on time. There isn't a moment to loose and he has to work and keep things together to be successful. Recently I told someone that because he has a disability he is required to work harder and try more than anyone else. Although I get the impression that they don't agree, they are not the ones living with this NOR are they the ones dealing with the outcome.
MAKING things happen is something that has to be done. Once again, I will explain, the boy has a disability and since it isn't visible that means he needs to try more and harder. We push him to excell and he does remember what we tell him. (that is a shocker believe me)
For example, tonight he was driving the cute one and I home (my hair is turning white- thank God for hair dye); some ladies he knew saw him and were happy and laughing to see him doing something SO necessary. He has to drive....anyway, he told us that he thought when people were laughing like that it was at him. I explained that they were HAPPY to see him driving and that they thought it was wonderful that he would drive and make the effort to do so and practice. IT is a big deal. Then he said that he was remembering last summer and that he doesn't like it when people laugh at him because he is disabled and he doesn't "get it".
Then again, today I again had to express the importance of hygiene.....it is hot here and he smells. He forgets to use the daily essentials and I had to go over the reasons AGAIN and why he has to use extra in the summer and it isn't a waste because we all need it and we are all hot, sweaty and nasty. There was a difference this time. I took him to his room, told him to rest and then told him that we were all smelly there wouldn't be one of us that would be able to stand it. So there is something to cover up the icky...and then we don't gross each other out as bad.
Then the cuter half and I made lunch for him and let him rest at home....the other thing is that he played video games for almost 2 1/2 days....non stop. He has been crabby, rude and a pain in the butt. This was not my choice, the cute one did this and I did not concur but I agreed. What we saw was a young man who was BORED and very cranky after a day or so on the tiles of a video game deluge.
SO what does this have to do with good manners and timing?
A lot. Timing is part of time management and time budgeting. This is something we all have to do every day no matter what. If we are late for a job interview we are likely to not get the job (although in this economy unless you are selling your body to science you won't get the job anyway). If you miss an appointment you have to reschedule. If you are waiting for the plumber and decide to go get gas in the car and miss him you are out of luck that day. The list keeps going....and if you tell someone you are coming to visit and it is agreed to then that means both parties need to be where they are supposed to be. Keeping people on a string and waiting is ill mannered and rude.
Exactly the opposite of what we are teaching the boy....we don't want rude, smelly and ill mannered. That doesn't work at the office, store, bakery or restaurant or library or laboratory or anywhere. Ergo he has to work harder, try more and more than the average gen person.
Oh and 17+ minutes wait time is more than adequate since this was your arrangement and your timeframe.
The boy has to schedule himself and that we have enough time for doc appointments and we go to see friends or the boy has company here.....we have daily things we have to get done and we don't have a ton of time to wait and play games.....missing us by only minutes makes you look a fool....there was no way you could have not passed us unless it was intentional.
_________________________________________________________________________________
The lack of time that a family like ours has is almost appalling. We go from activity to activity like a drill sergeant and his new recruits. Our weekdays are very busy; our weekends normally less structured but still active. We have things we like to do and people we want to see.
The above was written a LONG time ago. Naturally, I was venting and never finished it (probably a good thing). But really it comes down to having respect and good manners for the other people. Like in Divine Secrets, "How kind can you bear to be?" If you go someplace or somewhere it is merely polite to be where you said you were going to be. This is something we are teaching the boy; be polite, say "Please" and "Thank You". Help those in need and volunteer when you can....take the time and make the time and be ON TIME. Are we perfect at it? Heavens no. But we are not taking time and wasting time on things that we know we are not going to be able to handle.....
The boy is learning that this summer is all about timing.
Like the recruit; he goes from one location, to another to another to another then finally home. He works hard. He plays hard and he tries HARD to keep on the schedule and BE on time. There isn't a moment to loose and he has to work and keep things together to be successful. Recently I told someone that because he has a disability he is required to work harder and try more than anyone else. Although I get the impression that they don't agree, they are not the ones living with this NOR are they the ones dealing with the outcome.
MAKING things happen is something that has to be done. Once again, I will explain, the boy has a disability and since it isn't visible that means he needs to try more and harder. We push him to excell and he does remember what we tell him. (that is a shocker believe me)
For example, tonight he was driving the cute one and I home (my hair is turning white- thank God for hair dye); some ladies he knew saw him and were happy and laughing to see him doing something SO necessary. He has to drive....anyway, he told us that he thought when people were laughing like that it was at him. I explained that they were HAPPY to see him driving and that they thought it was wonderful that he would drive and make the effort to do so and practice. IT is a big deal. Then he said that he was remembering last summer and that he doesn't like it when people laugh at him because he is disabled and he doesn't "get it".
Then again, today I again had to express the importance of hygiene.....it is hot here and he smells. He forgets to use the daily essentials and I had to go over the reasons AGAIN and why he has to use extra in the summer and it isn't a waste because we all need it and we are all hot, sweaty and nasty. There was a difference this time. I took him to his room, told him to rest and then told him that we were all smelly there wouldn't be one of us that would be able to stand it. So there is something to cover up the icky...and then we don't gross each other out as bad.
Then the cuter half and I made lunch for him and let him rest at home....the other thing is that he played video games for almost 2 1/2 days....non stop. He has been crabby, rude and a pain in the butt. This was not my choice, the cute one did this and I did not concur but I agreed. What we saw was a young man who was BORED and very cranky after a day or so on the tiles of a video game deluge.
SO what does this have to do with good manners and timing?
A lot. Timing is part of time management and time budgeting. This is something we all have to do every day no matter what. If we are late for a job interview we are likely to not get the job (although in this economy unless you are selling your body to science you won't get the job anyway). If you miss an appointment you have to reschedule. If you are waiting for the plumber and decide to go get gas in the car and miss him you are out of luck that day. The list keeps going....and if you tell someone you are coming to visit and it is agreed to then that means both parties need to be where they are supposed to be. Keeping people on a string and waiting is ill mannered and rude.
Exactly the opposite of what we are teaching the boy....we don't want rude, smelly and ill mannered. That doesn't work at the office, store, bakery or restaurant or library or laboratory or anywhere. Ergo he has to work harder, try more and more than the average gen person.
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