Saturday, June 9, 2012

Doing some thinking.

Sometimes I beleive life gets away from us. Not like we have any control over a lot of things. I have determined that my actual control over things in this house means that I need to clean the litter boxes more frequently during the day.

I personally do  not believe that we weren't just chosen to have the kid that we have.....I think that we are in a situation that we were predestined for. Like us, people make choices and we have to stick with them....I think that because we have such a person that we are responsible for we have things we have to be/do better at and at least try harder to make it work.

Ideals are great in theory...I am not so great after a day of whinging about nothing to do and no friends to hang out with.

We, the cute one and I, have decided that living under the financial cut that we can makes things more challenging for us as a couple. Lately, I have not been a genrous soul and I have been getting angry and frustrated. More so becasue I am "marking time" and I hated doing that in marching band and I like it even less now.

Totally off topic here but I got a call today and right now I am gettting the impression that some people don't necessarily appreciate the frugality the cuter one and I employ. IT isn't that we are "mean" (old-fashioned meaning btw-
  1. Unwilling to give or share things, esp. money; not generous:
only that we have chosen to try things out a little differently. We are doing garage sales and recycling....we are looking at rain barrels and composting...although we haven't started either yet. Frankly the rain barrels we see have gone thru the ugly forest too many times. I don't know if there are pretty rain barrels but if you know of one please let us know....we need to get the rain to save on water for the garden.
The other thing we have learned is that inherently we are pretty old fashioned in how we think. Maybe it was being brought up by older parents....me more than than the cuter one, Not that the princess (my Mom) is really old. She would smack me one if I had ever said that to her. But things were different when I was a kid.....my parents were strict. It was fine- I survived it.

For example, this week, we were not amused (wouldn't it be fun to say, "one was not amused")
with a teacher changing the date of his final and then throwing together a second part because he was lazy and got busted. IN fact when we mentioned it to another teacher (a college professor no less) we were told that he wanted a day off and was being lazy and getting paid for not working.....this teacher's remiss attitude caused our son to get a C on his final....when the boy could have gotten a better grade....and yes in this case I blame the teacher who didn't feel like working thru his last bit of finals. The sad thing is, this is what the voters and general public remember. We don't think about the teachers that are doing it because they like it (or the good ones we had at school)....we think about the ones counting down the days to retirement (unlike the 87 year old who recently retired)....we think of the teachers that don't want to be there....and are unable to put on a good show or pretend- these are the people that were teaching our kids.

Lately, (more off topic, the other thing I have been thinking about is my writing. I have fallen down a lot this year. Some of it is just being too tired to think about what to write. The cute one and I have dealt with a  lot of growing pains in this house. From dealing with people who have made fun of the boy at an event to the inevitable regular meltdowns he has had and reliving it regularly (which then pisses me off all over again because we are stuck dealing with it)...then there is my infamous line of, "If I haven't given birth to it I don't have to put up with the crap." I have tolerated a lot of crap from the boy. More than a lot.

IT has worn me down. I also don't like to think about things or what to write about. The boy is now a young adult now with a disability....it still saddens me that there are people who will never accept him. Those that refuse to admit that Aspergers is a part of his life that the Aspergers most likely will not go away....
He did surprise me though; from what he tells me he has eliminated a number of those kinds of people out of his life....He did that one totally on his own. I had nothing to do with it. Yet he is still a child in some ways....liking his Anime and his children's books.....he will learn that there is a time and place for that stuff. I still read children's stories when I am stressed out or need to "shut the mind off". Maybe that is why I am such a Harry Potter junkie.....it takes my mind off things.

Yesterday we sent him to the library to get some books and pay a fine. He did it all himself. This is something he should have been doing at a much younger age but we didn't push it with him; at the time we had MUCH bigger fish to fry. Now we tell him to go take care of it and text us when he gets home. He has to be independent and he has to drive. Driving has taken a ton of work for him but we didn't let him go get his license right away. The insurance wasn't the real issue. The decision making and the lack of maturity was. The Aspies all have it.....both the inability to make a mature decision at 15-18 and the lack of maturity. Doesn't matter that you think your kid is mature. More than likely you want him to be mature and they really aren't. The cute one and I were like that for a long time and only recently learned to slow down and work at a different pace.

The other weird part is that we did make him take another summer class. Checking the boys transcript, he really didn't NEED this class to graduate, but to go to a four year college he needed another art class- ergo we signed him up. Fortunately this will qualify and he will have almost all the art classes he needs....I think we might be one semester short. When thinking about it I never had to be concerned about Art. I had band, and in band that was counted as Art so I didn't have to go looking for other creative programs. Being in sports and insisting upon having a study hall and wanting to graduate ON TIME....he has to have summer school. There are so many complications for him so much to do....and time goes so quickly.

After all this ranting, really, for us, this is the first day of summer. We have slept in, watched a concert and seen a movie. I am wondering what else the summer will bring us.....


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