Every once in a rare while the mom of the house gets bored.
I am not into a lot of things on TV. I escape into my FB farm or my city or my mess in my office and I just don't want to bother with some of the other stuff. I need to find my book again and I want to make a book of my blogs....but that is another post all together.
Tonight, on TV, it was Lord of the Thingdoodle. Very disrespectful....I know there are BIG fans of it and I am certain if I could have sat thru the first one this one might have done something for me. I got lost with something (?) called "Gollum". Fortunately, the boy was automatically interested. He has been attempting to organize a thing I am designating as a "movie club". A group of friends go check out the newest movies. He and his crew has seen almost all of them on opening day.
The best part is, he had to organize his TIME, and at one point be certain to be home for his classes, and still have enough time to sleep to get to his internship in the AM. IT all worked out but he was exhausted.
Flexibility, organization, time, doing stuff.....it is all a problem at one time or another with an Aspie teen. This has been his summer of learning. He has learned what he will accept from and what he won't. I know to a number of you this seems to be an ongoing theme. Unfortunately, weeks, months later and we are still dealing with backlash from recent social events. Yes, you think I am exaggerating. You aren't taking all the texts, calls and going to the therapy sessions. This is true for issues that happened YEARS ago are still fresh and can be reborn with the slightest provication. Almost like it happened yesterday; and to learn from it the boy shall, but the onslaught is the current thing for us. Beating the dead horse and analyzing half to death....that is ONLY the begining. Explaining the nuances and the meaning of what things are socially and why people do what they do and think the way they do....that is the hard part.
As I mentioned to some friends yesterday, "Thank GOD for therapists; The one the boy has can answer questions I can't." The boy may be over-therapatized but thankfully has the sense to know WHEN to call for his therapists and to try to listen to what they are telling him....if only he would listen to us that often.
Movies are a distraction. He can contact his crew, go to a movie and talk about the movie for a while and then he comes home, sees pictures hanging on the wall and gets stuck (I took the pictures down....they will need replaced). I am thanking God daily that there is a group for the boy to go to the movies with. Get him out, get him to stop thinking/remembering/rehashing about those things.....make him concentrate on something else for a while. Regain perspective and try again.
God, I wish it were that easy.
IT sounds so simple, "Oh, it is OK time will take care of it." For the boy, it ain't so simple. Time, for him, is an obscure concept. After an experience like he had it can make things a roller coaster for awhile. That is what we are working on now....the highs are SOOOO high and the lows are SOOOOO low. We need a happy medium. We had a happy medium at the begining of the summer....kinda lost that about mid way got a little of it back with the schedule (no time to contemplate) and now we are back at the OMG it is a problem again. It is the rollercoaster we can't get off of; imagine going around and around on Space Mountain, the Demon, or the Tidal Wave....the balance we have is very delicate. We are dealing with an amazing number of things, Aspergers, social anxiety, and stress. A gen would explode with just one of those things- the boy is expected to deal with these things and do it with grace and good humor.
Difficult, especially when he is so well mannered he would like to tell people to stuff it and won't. Although now, I have a feeling he probably will.....it has been the summer of learning for him. I know for a fact he has done it. He did tell a kid to, "Stop worrying about my life and go get your own." Hasn't had a problem with that kid since, and I am pretty certain he has used that line on a few others.(Classic- he came up with that one on his own).
Memories for the boy are painful. Most of the time he isn't able to come up with a bunch of sunshine and roses unless we really push him to do it. He is so used to negative (as are we) that the negative is all he remembers feeling. Like the cuter one mentioned, the fact that we are relatively isolated makes things much different for us. Believe it or not, we try harder than most people. Our expectations are MUCH higher than most peoples (in our situation). Much to our dismay, the boy's "Labrador Retriever" will come out when he is super exicted or really wants to try hard and doesn't know what to do.
I am hoping that "movie club", interning, sports and school help him keep it all under control.
If the boy really wants to own a business like he says he has to get off the rollercoaster and let other people ride......and walk away to a different line at the park. He also has to stop letting people make him feel like something less than he is. I hope he can do it, It has taken me years but I am at a good place where I am happy in my own skin. I would like my son to be there too.