Wednesday, December 1, 2010

fitting it all in

When you pack, like for a trip, you have a certain amount of stuff you have to fit in.

When you are working, you have a certain amount of work you have to fit in....and complete.

So what is it when you are scheduling? A good friend of mine mentioned this evening that we were the "sandwich generation" we have older parents and high maintenance kids. That isn't a sandwich, that is the whole enchilada. Dealing with Mom's (my Mom's) doc appt's a sports schedule on the same day, and then trying to figure out WHAT we are doing for a party and then being relieved when the idea is scrapped....now that is a classic case of overload and trying to fit too much in at one time. as parents of an Aspie, this is a part of life....it is what we do. We do this with grace, style and our own little bit of flair just to jazz it up a bit.

We are adjusting to me working out of the home again. good grief, I am adjusting....I have to get up, get dressed and not stink and go to work. Anyway, for the 3 of us that is a major deal. Me getting up and out that is. The stinky part....well I am a girl and I do wear perfume so I guess being stinky is all part of life. picking out what to wear to work is a challenge.... putting outfits together and remembering what is what is a whole nother kettle of fish. It is good for me and I like it but remembering that wearing a tank top to work just won't cut it is rather a culture shock. (It gets hot in the office....I broil)

This has nothing to do with Autism. Well, maybe it does. Our kids have to fit it all in; the school bit, the social venues and the "why am I doing this?" part of the life of a teen male Aspie. Today is the first day of the rest of their lives....I remember when my Dad would say that and I would just wonder what the heck he was talking about. now I know; or at least I think I know. I am not so arrogant to believe I know everything about my son or his problems. He has Aspergers. That doesn't necessarily mean he is disabled or incapable for life. That MEANS he is doing things a little differently. If he ever came to me and tried the, "I am disabled, I ahve Aspergers" line on me the boy would be grounded for life 3x over. He tried it once; lost his bedroom door, lost his privledges and lost his right to privacy. He has NEVER used that excuse in front of us again. Smart kid.

Having a disability doesn't mean you can't do it, it means you do it differently. There ain't nutnin' wrong with that. Maybe if we all tried harder to do things differently there wouldn't be such a mess in the world. Or in our homes or on the street or down the street and in the town. Kind of like "This is the house that Jack built"....do you get it or is it totally not making sense?

For those of you who remember me in college, you would remember the pink/purple/fushia hair colors, the weird clothes and the thinking outside the box....my stylist would remember cutting my hair as short as she could on one side and then leaving it as long as I could stand it on the other....doing things differently....and although it was my way of revolting against a super strict environment. It did me good; both the strictness (which I didn't have it as strict at home) and the funky look. Doing things differently, it all works in the long run. Now I have amazing zebra striped shoes with fushia accents and wood heels....great stuff.

Our kid, he does things differently, but he is just as smart as the kid on the honor role. Our son does it differently. He studies differently (we have used baseball cards and a board game to play 3 strikes- each answers 3 questions to make our team move on the board) now we use flash cards and night time reading/memorization. It is all different. he studies and gets good grades; jsut like the kid next door.

Yeah we fit it all in that tiny suitcase and then we squash the heck out of it to make sure it all stays put.

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