Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Does anybody know what time it is?

I sure don't. I am watching my son grow up, and away, like the beautiful balloon in the song.

I know where he is going, but he doesn't know or understand where he has been. Like the Talking Head's song, "I know what I am knowing but I don't know where I've been." I know the link has NOTHING to do with what I mentioned but it is an awesome song and I just LOVE the Talking Heads....it is classic.
ANYWAY, realizing my son is growing up is hard on me. I am scared. What if he forgets to get his meds? What if he doesn't contact his doc if he has a problem? What if he needs a new doc and can't find one on his own? What in the heck do we do?

KInd of like kicking the lemons dropped on our heads when he was first diagnosed. We start at the begining and work our way through the problems. There isn't a lot I can do besides "recommend". We can make up the "Life book" we have one. It has doc office cards, phone numbers and other things in it....a how to live and survive book for our Aspie. There are a lot of things to add to it and there is information that needs to be update. It is time consuming and draining. Even the boy knows where the book is and that it has directions for him to use for when he is out on his own. Although then I think we would call it by something else. Still, having something like this is useful and if he ever needs it the information is right there.

Do any of us know what is going to happen next? Kind of like eating out and having stale pasta, we never know what we are going to be doing or what is going to happen until it does and then things are what they are. Although a lot of people may not like the book of Isaiah there is a passage that I have kept in my purse. It reminds me that the path isn't always smooth, nor is it narrow, there are twists and turns but it is level; it is the path that God has us on. "The way of the righteous is level, thou dost make smooth the path of the righteous."

Tonight I noticed that there were "friends" who had unfriended us on FB. I am thinking I must have gotten too religious for them, or they got tired of me or just got bored. Either way, I think they dumped me several monthes ago and I just never noticed. Ooops. I guess there are times when I should acutally check out my friends list and see who I am missing....I often forget that part. Oddly enough, I was thinking about asking one of them if they were still their home product line. I guess I will have to ask elsewhere now....Oh well maybe it is more their loss than mine. And that is another thing....life changes and we don't have to always like it but we do have to accept where we are and try to be happy about it.

I am nervous. Our son is away from home this evening. He was invited to an important activity and I know they will help him and support him while he is gone. It is weird not having him home....he is fine and I know this but in my heart I am still scared. "What if" is plaguing me and kind of making me feel bad.
 It is the "What if's" that hold us back and stop us from doing things we should try to do. When you are 100 are you gonna regret it or will you be happy where you are?

It is a lot to think about.

Does Anybody know what time it is?

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