Friday, April 4, 2014

Nutrition the Aspie way

The boy is taking a nutrition class this semester. It is interesting but it is a little confusing.

The Aspie way of nutrition is similar to Bill Cosby in the book "Fatherhood" giving his kids chocolate cake for breakfast. As Bill did: there are eggs, wheat, dairy- ergo- breakfast!

The boy is the same way. He would and currently is living on pizza. He loves it. Naturally the cuter half makes this fab focaccia  bread that is manna from heaven - then the toppings and baked again. Even me, who is deathly sick of pizza loves it. About a piece or two and I am done in. The other evening, Grandma, the cuter half, the BFF and the boy had this and we were stuffed to the gills afterwards.

The boy has to eat his veg; salad w some dressing before dinner then the fruit, then the main meal. The doc told him  he needed to loose weight and try not to pork out and work out. Since the boy is rather lazy in the work out mode - he is now telling me he wants to join a gym. Which would be great if we weren't broke- and he refuses to try to run or do anything that isn't outside of the house.

Seriously if you think about it the Aspie way of not wanting to leave the house- Can you blame them? What is outside? Rejection, rudeness, meanness; any number of icky things that most don't want to deal with.
This discussion came up with the BFF (our dinner time discussions are epic- we talk about EVERYTHING).
The BFF made some really good points about what happened to the boy at HS. There was a bunch of stuff we had NO IDEA happening and when we found out I will be honest and say that we really were/are a clueless wonders. The BFF informed us that the boy was being approached and hit on by other students during the school day and the boy was too nice to tell these students that he wasn't interested. The boy, being the boy, has been taught to be friends with everyone because all people have value and are important.

This discussion, in itself, didn't surprise me. At one juncture, the boy had a friend who was hitting on the boy (in our house) and I finally had to talk to the kids parents. BEAR in mind, a parent of an ASPIE is in touch with the parents of other ASPIEs and we do talk. This is not unusual for the parents to discuss the social issues of our kids (please- we talk about poop- social issues are the icing on the cake). These parents were not happy with the situation I do not think that they knew about their kid's choices. The constant hitting on was making the boy uncomfortable. The boy told me that he  wanted to belt the crap out of his friend; hurting someone for any reason is wrong to do that and the cuter half and I would have had a fit. The boy knows he would have been punished and in TONS of trouble with the cuter half and I for not being accepting (think about it- he has Aspergers- he is not allowed to be against anyone- too many people are prejudiced against people like him- he has to be like Switzerland completely neutral).
The boy coming to me and telling me he was uncomfortable was probably a better way to handle the boy's issue with being hit on. Apparently this was not the first time (when this friend was at our  house). Then the discussion with the boy was more detailed about the HS hitting on that happened regularly and often and how he needed to handle the situation and be nice to his friend.

In case you were wondering, the boy has decided he likes girls. Which that is his choice and that is fine....at least he has that part figured out. (Not much else is figured out - but he did figure this part out).

Nonetheless, socially our kid is at the bottom of the food chain. He is not popular, nor is the phone, email or FB ringing off the hook. Sometimes I wish it were. I see my other friends kids, who are gens; they do stuff, they travel, go to school everywhere....out making their choices and doing things.

And here we are, the cuter half and I get excited when the boy agrees to go out to dinner with us (he wants pizza). Some days it feels like he is becoming one of those recluses who doesn't want to really go anywhere....at least with his parents. We are old and boring, but yet if he has something he thinks we will like he does go out of his way to get it for us. For example, he went to the library the other day and found some books on travel for the cuter half and I. It was a sweet thought and we were happy that he wanted to help us plan our next trip....he wants to help us find new places to eat.

SO what do we do? We force him to go out, do things try new foods and befriend everyone that he can.
That's it. If he gets lucky, he will become acquaintances with a bunch of people who might not like the Aspergers part but take the time to get to know the kid underneath. Kind of like the BFF, who met the boy at HS and then discovered that he really was pretty smart and was able to help her with her history paper....he had given her a bunch of facts. She tells me that she checked them and discovered that he was right and then she decided she needed to talk to him more to figure out the Aspergers part. It helps that he thinks she is the best, prettiest and smartest girl going. She has taken the time to get to really know him.
He is lucky that way.

So food wise, yes we are prepping him with his pizza- he eats whole wheat, crust with veg and cheese. He prefers sausage and turkey pepperoni but that is pretty high in calories. OH and we found out that he is not getting enough potassium. There is a web site that you can use to track what you are eating and figure out if you are missing components of your diet. The USDA has  a nutrition tracker called CHOOSE MY PLATE It does help and we found out that the boy needs more potassium -which is why he is draining the oj and putting on the poundage (juice has gobs of calories).

Socially, well the cuter half and I are perpetually the clueless wonders. Oh well, we can't have everything can we?

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