Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Misremembering

There are some nights when I wish we would "misremember" different things. The years have run by since the days of the boy having serious issues with the english language and behavior problems. To what, naturally we deal with now which is a whole nother kettle of fish.

I guess what started the cuter half and I on this was the boy.
Yeah, I know big surprise.
The boy is applying for scholarships. It kind of scares me a little. Anyway this one was asking about specific things that make the cute one and I cry. At the time we didn't realize what we were going through and how hard it was. It is like doing the laundry, cleaning the house, working on the litter boxes.....organizing the clothes....you do it
You know how it is; it was one of those things and you just did it no matter how many times we read the old magazines in the therapy office. Yes it is one more Tuesday evening and we are here for speech and we need a walk. God forbid we take a walk outside with the receptionist screaming at us "I NEED YOUR PHONE NUMBER. DON'T YOU LEAVE or I will report you." (WT_)- Knock your self out b_______.
Excuse me?
We are taking a walk around the complex because there are no more places to sit in the lobby. The pee stained floor was not our thing OK? Our therapist has our number and you are welcome to have it but by the time my son is done you will have gone home for the day.
At the school level (at the time), we had the policy that "talking to one of us is like talking to the other. We will agree with whatever the other says as long as it helps the boy."
Geez- looking at a "summary" of what has gone on in our lives with the boy is really a shocker. You don't realize the costs; and I don't mean fiscally. I am talking about the costs of time, of emotions, feelings, stress, thoughts. The nights where we have "white nights" and don't sleep because we are afraid we missed something, forgot something....didn't do something. All of it.

Here I will say, if you are a parent of a gen....you won't get the above. It's OK. There isn't anything wrong with you. That part is strictly parents of kids who are disabled. You didn't get picked and well, unfortuately this is stuff that is not easily explained.

Oddly enough, the cute one was reviewing a scholarship paper the boy was working on. The boy wasn't sure what to do or where to go with it and asked for some help. With the helping. well it brought back a TON of memories. Although, I have always said that the cute one's song is "I feel Lucky" by Mary Chapin Carpenter; this Simon and Garfunkel song has been running through my head when thinking about these difficult times.



Bridge Over Troubled Water
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

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