Friday, November 2, 2012

Going back to school.

Have you ever thought about what goes on in grade schools?

The cuter half and I were discussing the, well, I will call it a "habit" of special ed parents coming into a mainstream school setting and "explaining" their kids disability.
From what I remember this was especially common several years back in grade school.

I have never done it.
I never needed to.

I will say that I don't see where it really has helped with compassion towards the disabled student. From what I hear, from the boy, most of the time disabled students are ignored. From what we saw the night at the school play.....it is accurate.

Which brings the cuter half and I wonder if all those talks to the kids really helped. We don't believe it has. We see the boy, being ignored, but then we also see that he is not given much of a chance to make friends....most schools lump these kids all together and expect them to get along because they are all disabled. The boy's art class last summer was that way.....the teacher and the "aide" put them all in the same table and the boy and another Aspie got into it. the other Aspie was really mean. "I have aspergers too and I don't do what you do, you must be retarded." - the boy was appalled. I was disgusted....what is up with these teachers? Please.

What I remember hearing aobut when he was in elemetary school  was that a parent would come in, do a bit of a programme and then talk about how the kids had to be nice to the disabled student even if the disabled student was mean because of the disabled students disability.

I have thought of this as, "I am disabled and you as a society owe me blah blah blah."

Here we were teaching our kid to be nice, polite, and try hard to be good to others.
In reality, all I should have done was teach my son how to be self serving, rude and mean spirited. That's kind of harsh, but really what do we do now?

The boy is having a rough time. He is socially awkward. That is to be expected. However, the compassion that I hear about in other places certainly isn't happening for him where he is. Maybe it is happening and I don't know about it. I certainly am not as connected socially as most of these parents.

Oddly enough, I was one of those kids, the kid who was with the same group of kids from KINDERGARTEN. These kids and I could almost finish each other sentances. We saw each other every day from Kindergarten thru HS.

My son had been in at minimum 3 schools by Kindergarten. By the time he hit second grade he was in school number 4.

He now has several good friends and a couple of acquaintances at school but i wonder what would have happened if we had insisted that he go thru the gen ed school.....
I guess I am back at the choices thing and how going to a gen school is not a right it is a privilege and should be thougth of as such.
If you have a kid who can't be in gen ed but works their way out of a theraputic day school your view of the world is much different than those who haven't had to make more of an effort.


Hmmmmm.


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