What is stopping you?
I wish I knew what is stopping my cuter half and I. Most likely it is a lack of self confidence.
I can come across as a totally arrogant person but really, I am not.
When I was young I was told that I was snobbish and very rude. I suppose that was true to some extent. I never meant it to be seen that way. I was lonely, sad, insecure and constantly criticized for almost everything I did.
It is only more recently that I have started feeling good about things. The cute one and I are back on track and even with all the crazy stuff happening we are really doing very well.
The boy, well not so much. He is learning that outside of the educational system he is not being accepted very well. Ok he is not being accepted at all. He is trying to find a job - a real job - any job - he has cleaned toilets, mopped floors, emptied garbage cans, picked up bloody tampons and you name it. The grossest thing you can think of and I would bet the boy has cleaned it up from the toilets at a local big box store.
Currently he has a pt job that is great. The boss is awesome and the boy thinks this guy is the coolest ever. It is sporadic but given the time of year and road construction it is no wonder it is so spotty.
Nonetheless, I keep wishing for more for the boy. He has one friend from HS and only in touch once in a while, he has zero friends from college and church is a total joke. If I take him to church I need to buckle him in a wheel chair and tell everyone he fell off a cliff as a baby. Otherwise it is several hours of weird looks and bizarre comments (not from the boy). The other thing is - People at church think that if your kid is disabled that you automatically get along with all the other disabled parents because that is all you have to talk about. I am serious- we have an education and we are intelligent and we read books (I sent ALL my autism books to Goodwill- bye Felicia) and as parents of the disabled we are thought of only having ONE topic to talk about...... and not all disabled families want to hang out together. My God talk about the ants running the damn picnic.
I would wager the cute one and I could come up with more than one topic to talk about. This blog is about our experiences from a parental point of view. So I try to keep it on topic as much as I can. But there are days I want to write about Paris, London, Notre Dame, history, art science, and yes even being a political agnostic.
More recently, it was recommended that the boy go on a dating website - I don;t think that someone with the social experience of a gnat would not do so well. I keep hoping someone from his past would take compassion on him and call but no one ever will. The fact of the matter is you can look normal, sound normal but not be normal and everyone will notice and think you are a total freak even if that is something they are hiding from in themselves.
When the boy was in school it was what I call "forced acceptance" the boy was never really accepted and some kids made a show of liking him to get points for scholarships. I remember one girl told him that he was allowed to talk to her in the classroom but NOT in the hallway where her friends could see. I told his counselor that and the counselor thought I was telling lies. I wasn't. The educational system for the disabled sucks balls. These kids get all kinds of smoke blown up their and their parents asses and we were stupid enough to believe it all.
Adults on the spectrum want to work, and have a life like everyone else.
What they get is much, much less/
What they get is jack-shit. I have told many people that if the boy doesn't have a job by the end of this year he will be on SS sometime in the coming year. We don't have a choice. He has tried since last September to find another job. He goes on interviews and gets nothing out of it. No call backs,
He started working with a group and its nice that they tell him everything I have told him and he tries but it still doesn't do any good. Most people are prejudiced against hiring the disabled. Businesses would get a DAMN tax credit hiring him; it is nothing to sneeze at either.
The best thing is - all the "smoke up our ass" blowers, well they can take comfort in paying taxes for our Son's SS/ Have a good time with that OK? 'Cause you know what? I am exhausted from trying to work with him, help him find a job and organize. I could give a flying-fuck what you think. I still believe my son can do anything. i will still believe it and it isn't my fault that no one else agrees with me.
\
My Dad used to say that God didn't make trash. I think Dad was right. The other day I was fixing my Grandfather's Bible. Grandpa got this Bible when he left Ireland and came to the US in 1905. My Grandfather was an indentured servant. He had to work for YEARS to pay back his travel to the US. There are a couple of interesting things in this Bible. One is a quote I found in the back " If sinners enuse thee consent thou not" and the other is Psalm 17:10 They are inclosed in their own fat with their mouths they speak proudly" It was partially marked with a pencil. in the verses. The Bible itself was in many pieces; it still isn't in the best shape but it is cleaned up and better protected.
I sometimes wonder what my Grandpa would think of what is going on with the boy....I wonder what he would say, or if he would tell me, like my Dad would to not give up and keep believing.
I just wonder.
I can come across as a totally arrogant person but really, I am not.
When I was young I was told that I was snobbish and very rude. I suppose that was true to some extent. I never meant it to be seen that way. I was lonely, sad, insecure and constantly criticized for almost everything I did.
It is only more recently that I have started feeling good about things. The cute one and I are back on track and even with all the crazy stuff happening we are really doing very well.
The boy, well not so much. He is learning that outside of the educational system he is not being accepted very well. Ok he is not being accepted at all. He is trying to find a job - a real job - any job - he has cleaned toilets, mopped floors, emptied garbage cans, picked up bloody tampons and you name it. The grossest thing you can think of and I would bet the boy has cleaned it up from the toilets at a local big box store.
Currently he has a pt job that is great. The boss is awesome and the boy thinks this guy is the coolest ever. It is sporadic but given the time of year and road construction it is no wonder it is so spotty.
Nonetheless, I keep wishing for more for the boy. He has one friend from HS and only in touch once in a while, he has zero friends from college and church is a total joke. If I take him to church I need to buckle him in a wheel chair and tell everyone he fell off a cliff as a baby. Otherwise it is several hours of weird looks and bizarre comments (not from the boy). The other thing is - People at church think that if your kid is disabled that you automatically get along with all the other disabled parents because that is all you have to talk about. I am serious- we have an education and we are intelligent and we read books (I sent ALL my autism books to Goodwill- bye Felicia) and as parents of the disabled we are thought of only having ONE topic to talk about...... and not all disabled families want to hang out together. My God talk about the ants running the damn picnic.
I would wager the cute one and I could come up with more than one topic to talk about. This blog is about our experiences from a parental point of view. So I try to keep it on topic as much as I can. But there are days I want to write about Paris, London, Notre Dame, history, art science, and yes even being a political agnostic.
More recently, it was recommended that the boy go on a dating website - I don;t think that someone with the social experience of a gnat would not do so well. I keep hoping someone from his past would take compassion on him and call but no one ever will. The fact of the matter is you can look normal, sound normal but not be normal and everyone will notice and think you are a total freak even if that is something they are hiding from in themselves.
When the boy was in school it was what I call "forced acceptance" the boy was never really accepted and some kids made a show of liking him to get points for scholarships. I remember one girl told him that he was allowed to talk to her in the classroom but NOT in the hallway where her friends could see. I told his counselor that and the counselor thought I was telling lies. I wasn't. The educational system for the disabled sucks balls. These kids get all kinds of smoke blown up their and their parents asses and we were stupid enough to believe it all.
Adults on the spectrum want to work, and have a life like everyone else.
What they get is much, much less/
What they get is jack-shit. I have told many people that if the boy doesn't have a job by the end of this year he will be on SS sometime in the coming year. We don't have a choice. He has tried since last September to find another job. He goes on interviews and gets nothing out of it. No call backs,
He started working with a group and its nice that they tell him everything I have told him and he tries but it still doesn't do any good. Most people are prejudiced against hiring the disabled. Businesses would get a DAMN tax credit hiring him; it is nothing to sneeze at either.
The best thing is - all the "smoke up our ass" blowers, well they can take comfort in paying taxes for our Son's SS/ Have a good time with that OK? 'Cause you know what? I am exhausted from trying to work with him, help him find a job and organize. I could give a flying-fuck what you think. I still believe my son can do anything. i will still believe it and it isn't my fault that no one else agrees with me.
\
My Dad used to say that God didn't make trash. I think Dad was right. The other day I was fixing my Grandfather's Bible. Grandpa got this Bible when he left Ireland and came to the US in 1905. My Grandfather was an indentured servant. He had to work for YEARS to pay back his travel to the US. There are a couple of interesting things in this Bible. One is a quote I found in the back " If sinners enuse thee consent thou not" and the other is Psalm 17:10 They are inclosed in their own fat with their mouths they speak proudly" It was partially marked with a pencil. in the verses. The Bible itself was in many pieces; it still isn't in the best shape but it is cleaned up and better protected.
I sometimes wonder what my Grandpa would think of what is going on with the boy....I wonder what he would say, or if he would tell me, like my Dad would to not give up and keep believing.
I just wonder.
Comments
Post a Comment
Thanks for commenting.