Saturday, July 24, 2010


It is quiet here. The cats aren't even fighting.


Reviews happen when you are working, many times annually. When you are a parent, well reviews happen when things are quiet.

In our house it hasn't been quiet for about 3 years. When our son was almost 13 he decided not go see his bio father anymore. From what I know, this was a long process. It was planned by my ex, and it was painful. My son went thru a lot. We don't know, but we believe that there was a lot of negative stuff going on. Our son decided that being there was too hard, and he was tired of always being at fault for things he didn't do or wasn't aware of. He reviewed his options and opted out of going through the pain of being in a place where he wasn't wanted and he didn't want to be. He chose and we supported his choice.

Now he is growing up.

The maturity level he showed at the time was BEYOND his years. He had the wisdom to know what to do and how to get out of a bad situation. He was/is strong and very intelligent. Most people don't see him that way. In fact, many family think that he is not that bright, we push him into things he is not ready for and that he isn't going to make it.

They are wrong.

I have thought a lot about this recently, more so since my son decided to go to camp. He has never been to a camp before, this is new. He never had the opportunity to try this kind of thing when he was younger, and he decided that he wanted to be there for his personal growth. His personal growth began when he was younger and made that tough decision for himself. How many gens could do that? From what i have seen and the ones that I know: none of them would have the endurance or the backbone to make a decision to not see a person for themselves. I am not down on gens. I am just pointing out that many of them have had it pretty easy. The tough decisions are made when you are told 'NO" more than you are not.

When my son was younger, I was told "No, he can't do that" more times than i could count. Many times I told the person saying it to "Stuff it". SOmetimes I didn't. Most of the time I did. Reviewing this area of life, well, I guess one could say I am a tough ole broad, but really it comes down to having faith. You don't have to like it, but in our view, since our son has a problem, we have had him in church and itis a case like his old bio teacher said, "Look at what God can do."

My husband and I were drawn to a place that frankly, I had avoided for years, purely because I listend to my Dad and believed what he told me. It wasn't a bad place, just not somehting my Dad thought was right (too big and too much $$). Sadly, my Dad's information on it was slightly faulty. Not thru his own decisions; just fromt he people he believed to know what was going on and they weren't necessarily right. this was what held me back. I was suspicious. I was reserved (for me that is a stretch).

Slowly, things started happening. our son wanted to go to church. He wanted to go. I was thinking he was sick. He wasn't. He was hearing and experiencing things he never had before. This was amazing to me. My husband was surprised and we started opening windows where the doors had been shut. Our lives were slowly being re-arranged and there was nuthin' we could do about it. It worked for us. We are not in charge of much of anything, I have no control over much around here. As Bill Cosby once said, "I have seen the boss' job and I don't want it."

I don't know what camp will bring, I don't know how he will be when he gets home. I do know that he is safe, in a good place and I pray having the time of his life.

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