Wednesday, July 14, 2010

delicate little flowers

There are times when my son is what I call a "delicate little flower". He is being extra touchy, or annoyed with me about something. Not that this is a bad thing. I do get on him about homework, school and his activities.

Lately, I am finding that I am going back to my old tendencies of living with regrets/ I wish I had, I thought I should, I don't know what I did this time. All of which may stem from living with a child with autism. Parents in this situation have a larger tendency to second guess themselves and we are more likely to be blunt to the point of courseness. I bring this up because a friends comment reminded me of an episode with one of my son's old doctors.

This was an appointment that was hard to keep. I had to take him in regularly, and basically take the day off of work and pray that I might actually get to see the doc I was supposed to see. Most of the time I would sit in the lobby for a minimum of 4 hours. Then another couple in the room and then to hear, "Have you looked into homes yet?" The night she asked me to come back in 2 months, I had been there almost 8 hours. I was with my son, and he was running rampant.... I was a mess, trying to figure out what to do about everything and getting the run around from the staff. Finally, I broke. I laughed at her for a good 20 minutes. I couldn't stop. She had no idea how tough it was to make an appointment, then to go and have to sit until she got to see us, then to tell us to come back? Good grief.

Several months later she retired. As I have mentioned to others, I hope my outburst had something to do with it. She should not have been diagnoising kids with her lack of information and background.  I later heard that there was a class action lawsuit against her because of her erroneous diagnosis. She did it to us and MANY others and my son still thinks he would like to join in. As he told me the other day, "Mom. if you had listened to her, what would have happened to me? Where would I be? What would I do?"

I wish I had an answer for him. Sadly, I wonder often how many people did listen to her?

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