Monday, August 23, 2010

Doing stuff

Today was OK. We had to do some stuff. Lots of stuff.
Nothing bad or major, we are back at figuring out what to do for lunches as the fried food is off limits.

Although I am sounding like a health freak weirdo, I can see the changes in my son's face. He is breaking out more since we changed the diet, which means, in part we are clensing his system from the ickies that were in his diet. We see many changes, the boy tryed grilled zuchinni, and ate most of it.

I will say that we are on the verge, of what I don't know. I do know that I have seen a lot of people on the internet doing and saying things that are frankly offensive. I have one friend in particular and honestly I don't know HOW she stands seeing such things on her blog and website. It really is disturbing. In fact I am so pathetic, I made certain that I commented on her one post that several people needed their mouths washed out with soap. I am not up for sainthood or Aspie Mommy of the year or any junk like that. I will say that we work darn hard to get our son to be socially acceptable. It is wearing and a pain in the neck. But if the example of people who are adults and have autism and are acting and behaving as they do to others in cyber land it is no wonder they are having issues with their neighbors (people on the street and a work). I am wondering why I am trying so hard with my son. What is the point.

As was in a prior posting on this blog IT IS ABOUT MANNERS PEOPLE. WE have to teach our kids GOOD MANNERS. I will say here and now, my son had better thank anyone who gives him a gift, I don't care if he doesn't like it much, he had better thank them and appreciate what he is getting. A good example of this is a time where he was seeing a doctor. The doc was rewarding postive behavior with gift certificates. My son was appreciative of the gift certificate because it saved him from having to earn more money for whatever he was saving for at the time. He showed good manners by thanking the doc for the gift and then using it appropriately. Would he have liked more $$ on the gift certificate? Heck yeah, but he had the manners enough to say, "Thank you, I love it" instead of saying, "What can I get with that? It isn't enough to buy anything with."

Having good manners is like the book "The Divine Secrets of the YA-YA Sisterhood" In one part Sidda says, "How kind can we afford to be to each other." So we have good manners to be kind to each other. I remember reading that Temple Grandin said that we need to teach our kids manners. Good grief we need to teach adults manners! It doesn't seem that anyone has manners anymore. I am thinking that with a HS diploma there needs to be a Miss Manners book sent along with it. Maybe it is because my parents were so seasoned by the time they had me, or maybe it is because I was told, "Go stand at the punch bowl and serve punch until dinner is served. Your dinner will be in the kitchen after the adults are served" at parties, but I learned the value of good manners.

I think that it hit my husband and I when we were at a speech therapy session with our son. This was years ago, but our son was still in session and a therapist had come out with another patient and told the boy he could have a piece of candy. His mom decreed he could have one for each hand, and after the boy kicked at the therapist (my husband and I watching in HORROR) we decided that our son would never be that rude. Ever.

So he learned, "Please, Thank you, I am sorry, I made a mistake, I don't understand things": all of it. Maybe he apologizes too often or isn't as polite as some of the other kids, but by goodness if you needed help and were nice to himit is more than likely he would help you out and BACK YOU UP if you ever needed it. He learned to push a wheel chair, and help his Grandma and to come when called and to help and to do as he was told. He might not do it all the time but he does do it now and is trying hard to get his priveledges back. It is all about the manners!

When I read about adults without good manners, I remember a comment I used to make when I worked retail, "The nerve of some people's children."

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