Sunday, January 1, 2017

Oh my gosh- it's here 2017

We aren't ready yet.

We still had things to clear up and finish and do.

We wanted to go to England to celebrate the boy's graduation, my birthday and just being us.

Not a thing has happened.

After graduation in 2016 the boy took the summer off for the first time in his life. He had never had a summer off before and the prior summer was taking 4 summer school online classes (then 4 online 1 campus classes) College experience really didn't do much for him. Since the school he went to had little or no supports in place for higher functioning autistic students he had a pretty miserable time of it there. After several negative experiences he and we decided his best bet was to finish school online as much as possible. He maintained excellent grades and his stress level was much better. He still had some other issues to deal with and was scared to death to talk to new people, go out alone, or be by himself. Essentially, after college he was back at square one. The cute one and I were relieved college was over for him but we were working with a guy who was terrified of making any mistakes or doing anything outside of his self prescribed box.

So we began the process of starting over with him. After graduating HS on such a high note; colliding commuter school life was certainly a total downer for the boy. In fact, from what he has told us most of his college acquaintances have NOT finished college at this time. He and one other kid graduated this year - and that was all he had heard about. Since the cute one and I told him he had one extra year to finish after he changed his major (a disastrous first semester with a cooking teacher that should have been doing anything else but teaching was enough for him).

Almost immediately after graduation we went back into the med/physical activity and vitamin supplement mode/ We talked about changing med around prior to his graduation but we were concerned that it might affect his concentration and ability to work effectively. So the meds have been altered with some additional vitamins. this means that there is a lot more physiological monitoring going on. The boy is in therapy 1x a week to make sure he is able to handle the new addition to his regime. As long as he "remembers" to take his meds he is doing fine. His biggest issue is not wanting to bother to take the med as prescribed.
Unbeknownst to the cuter one and I; the boy had not been taking his med for more than a week. WE were totally unaware that he wasn't doing his medications at all until we checked his weekly pill/vitamin allotments. They were full. Still.

At the age of 6 this kid was responsible for taking his own meds and he was doing so without too much trouble. At the age of 22 I had to monitor that he was eating, taking his medication and taking a shower. Seriously? Fortunately, it seems like he is back on track. The meds are in place and he is maintaining taking them with regular reminders. Bluntly put we are making sure we put the pills in a sauce serving dish and putting them on his meal plates. I am starting to think this is a security thing for him and I am pretty certain he will be acting more responsibly with this sooner rather than later.

Unlike most people who enjoy the comfort of everyone knowing their name, story and or background. the cute one and I are tired of it. We are currently rather isolated as we aren't social with parents of kids like ours (that went over like a lead balloon and we haven't attempted to find others to work it up with again- no time). We are laughing at people we have been told are jealous of us. Jealous of what? Spending an evening at the ER with my Mom with messed up electrolytes? Cleaning cat barf and snot from a kitty with a respiratory infection (then catching a respiratory infection myself)? Looking like we know what the hell we are doing but flying by the seat of our arse and hoping we land on our feet? Please, we just fake like we know what we are doing and hope the boy and everything else turns out OK. So far we believe that he is just one of the luckiest people on earth, although he would never agree with that assessment.

Recently, I have done the unthinkable. I got rid of EVERY single book on Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, social ineptitude, Psychology, Physiology, Speech and any other God-damned piece of garbage telling me what to think, do and how to pee (pee is a metaphor fyi). This adjustment to our home library has cleared out A TON of shelf space (Yea-ness). I never realized how much space it took to have self proscribed experts telling me how I was doing it all wrong but not having decent enough advice to identify corrections and how to handle problems. Why would I do such a thing? Clearing out books from highly regarded people who have studied Aspies (they need to come live with mine for a month or more then write a book). What was I thinking?
Really it was long over due. I read the books once; and subsequently;y never looked at them again. As I told the boy's therapist, "Why should I read stuff about what I deal with every blessed day? Why do I need people telling me what to do when I am pretty certain they wouldn't know what to do themselves in a like situation?" So we are "winging it." No more experts- unless we pay for one, like our son's current team of docs.

Another thing, we talk about moving, I truly doubt we ever will.

The boy is a suburbanite. Another thing, he is not religious. He believes in God but has said that churches have never done anything positive for him and it is unlikely he will ever attend unless forced to again. As far as that goes, I can't really blame him. I am certain my Dad would have been appalled. But what can one do? We are supportive of the boy and we have explained to him that there are people who believe that going to church is part of their belief system. Since he is afraid to go to church unless completely supported by us or his grandma....well we aren't going to push it down his throat.

Yup it is 2017. We are hoping for a better time of it after Jan. 20th. these last 9 years have not been the best for us. Yes I know, liberals are accepting, and understanding... yeah I got that; as long as you don't leave your self proscribed box that they put you in and you sure as hell better not complain either - wait that applies to conservatives, religious conservatives too..... See, as a parent of a kid/young adult like ours we get it from both sides. and God-forbid we have an opinion that differs from what either tells us we have to believe. And if we do what we know is right you sure as hell better believe we will get smacked down from both sides for that as well.
At least they all are consistent; knowing what to expect from the extreme left and the religious right....we got that part down to a science.

(I am a political agnostic - I am not crazy about any of them unless I see what they can do and how they do it and what their deal is).

Anyway I am hopeful for any number of things this 2017. I am hopeful for the boy, for the cute one and myself. I am hopeful we, the cute one and I can take a trip to England....I am hoping for a break and to be a place where no one knows who we are, what we do and expectations therein. That, to us would be a real vacation- totally getting away from everything with out worry or cares.

Right now I am thinking of that Talking Heads song "Road to Nowhere". Do you remember it?
Well we know where we're going
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowing
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
Yeah
We're on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Taking that ride to nowhere
We'll take that ride
I'm feeling okay this morning
And you know
We're on the road to paradise
Here we go, here we go
We're on a ride to nowhere
Come on inside
Taking that ride to nowhere
We'll take that ride
Maybe you wonder where you are
I don't care
Here is where time is on our side
Take you there, take you there
We're on a road to nowhere
We're on a road to nowhere
We're on a road to nowhere
There's a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride
And it's alright, baby, it's all right
And it's very far away
But it's growing day by day and it's all right
Baby, it's all right
Would you like to come along
You can help me sing the song
And it's all right, baby, it's all right
They can tell you what to do
But they'll make a fool of you
And it's all right, baby, it's all right
There's a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride
And it's alright, baby, it's all right
And it's very far away
But it's growing day by day and it's all right
Baby, it's all right, yeah
Would you like to come along
You can help me sing the song
And it's all right, baby, it's all right
They can tell you what to do
But they'll make a fool of you and it's all right
Baby, it's all right
We're on a road to nowhere
We're on a road to nowhere
We're on a road to nowhere
We're on a road to nowhere

It was on the "Little Creatures" Album/ My favorite, next to Supertramp in college.



Now it is video time and I have chosen the Talking Heads (big surprise there) Starting 2017 the right way with some good classic music from the 1980s. Enjoy.










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