What is destiny?
well, what is it then?
Is it where you wish you were or where you think you ought to be or is it just being in the right place the right time and the right moment?
Do we ever know for certain?
It has been ages since I last blogged. A lot has happened.
The cute one and I have had to make a number of ideological changes since last year and that kind of set off the entire year to feel like we were in flux. I think that we are doing better- not having to walk on eggshells constantly...that was a big one. Funny enough, with the not walking on eggshells constantly; we didn't even realize we were until they were gone. God what a relief. I guess that i got to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore. Fortunately the cute one knew that enough was enough and we were hurt but we knew it was the right thing. Now we can make real plans and positive changes without having to consider people who may just be using us for whatever means they have on their agendas.
Then the big one for me - career changes - that blew a number of people away; including us. I decided one day I was going to get a new job. People that knew me well knew it was going to be happening - but making the leap was a gi-nourmous deal for me. I've not really talked about what made me decide to leave my old job, I guess there were a number of factors. The final straw was a myriad of issues with a batshit crazy supervisor (BSCS) who was inferior in more ways than one. He was a meltdown waiting to happen (I got chewed out regularly I grew to dread Sundays), and he was hell bent on getting rid of me. Our kitchen remodel nightmare was a smaller factor (the designer scolding the cute one - seriously, she told me she sucked at geometry.... that should have been a clue right there). It was part of it, yes but the bigger issue was dealing with the BSCS his threats and his behaviors (get on the GD floor and learn your job dude- stop hiding in the offices) - he was big, scary and smelled like old beer. It was best for me to move on.... and I am very glad I did.
As far as the kitchen goes we survived August -November 2018 with no kitchen. Thanks to Steve with Electrical Home Maintenance for saving the entire project. Yes, I know I identified someone; get your undies out of your twist. His company is a godsend and his common sense, humor and patience was sorely needed by all of us during what was an unbelievable (or as I usually say "unfuckingbelievable") situation and trying time.....just imagine - gutting and remodeling a kitchen with an Aspie adult that hates change and won't shut up ("Why are we doing this the kitchen was fine" while we live with crappy cabinets and doors falling off hinges). Steve did the best thing in the world - he had the boy help with holding doors and taking out trash. Amazing person to work with and he kept us sane,
During all of this chaos, the boy has been through a lot - he had a miserable first job experience (huge understatement - God-awful nightmare hell would be more apt). He is looking for a new job and will be starting a volunteer experience in a couple weeks. He is in transition and is scared; he is applying and will be working with a job coach in several weeks.
I am not dwelling on him tonight though.
The cuter one moved the sofa in the family room. I am not a big TV watcher but if I have to sit there and do nothing then he had better be sitting there with me otherwise I am out the door. With the sofa move we can sit together. It is really nice and he is getting me to watch generic TV- I know it is a shock. Nonetheless, I watched a good portion of "Big Bang Theory" (BBT) and "Young Sheldon" (YS). BBT was about sibling relationships- lets not go there. But YS was about being where you are. Anyway the story line was that a young girl had died and Sheldon's Mom was into religion and was trying to understand why God would allow such a horrible thing -She and MeMaw went out and got wasted - well she did and wasn't acting like herself. When Sheldon stated, "You are the perfect Mom for me." that struck me. The boy tells me that a lot. He doesn't agree with me most of the time (I am too strict, mean and rude- yeah whatever, so what else is new). But he will admit that I am the perfect Mom for him. I am NOT mother of the year believe me. I will never be the best Mom ever. But you know what, I am the perfect Mom for the kid I have. And you know what - that is enough for me. I am just what I need to be...and how many times in one's life do we get to really admit that?
On that thought train, I believe that my destiny is to be where I am. My destiny is to be taking care of my cute one, my new job (which is way more than awesome BTW), the boy and the princess, keeping up w/my sil's, and the bebes too. Dealing with the other crap- and people who are not positive influences in our lives is not on the table.
Goals for 2019?
Let's stick with destiny.
If we get a bunch of phone calls for the wrong person then let's answer the phone and see where things take us (It happened today- open the damn door and see what is out there).
Let's walk into a new place and ask "When can I start?"
Let's wish upon the star, not that small one but "the second star to the right and strait on until morning"
Let's believe that things happen the way they do so we can move on and grow in the new experiences that we are supposed to be having.
Let's pretend that Cinderella was right and that a "Dream is the wish your heart makes when you are fast asleep"
Let's go for some good old fashioned Destiny,,,, and enjoy every blessed minute of it (even if your feet hurt at the end of the day)
Is it where you wish you were or where you think you ought to be or is it just being in the right place the right time and the right moment?
Do we ever know for certain?
It has been ages since I last blogged. A lot has happened.
The cute one and I have had to make a number of ideological changes since last year and that kind of set off the entire year to feel like we were in flux. I think that we are doing better- not having to walk on eggshells constantly...that was a big one. Funny enough, with the not walking on eggshells constantly; we didn't even realize we were until they were gone. God what a relief. I guess that i got to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore. Fortunately the cute one knew that enough was enough and we were hurt but we knew it was the right thing. Now we can make real plans and positive changes without having to consider people who may just be using us for whatever means they have on their agendas.
Then the big one for me - career changes - that blew a number of people away; including us. I decided one day I was going to get a new job. People that knew me well knew it was going to be happening - but making the leap was a gi-nourmous deal for me. I've not really talked about what made me decide to leave my old job, I guess there were a number of factors. The final straw was a myriad of issues with a batshit crazy supervisor (BSCS) who was inferior in more ways than one. He was a meltdown waiting to happen (I got chewed out regularly I grew to dread Sundays), and he was hell bent on getting rid of me. Our kitchen remodel nightmare was a smaller factor (the designer scolding the cute one - seriously, she told me she sucked at geometry.... that should have been a clue right there). It was part of it, yes but the bigger issue was dealing with the BSCS his threats and his behaviors (get on the GD floor and learn your job dude- stop hiding in the offices) - he was big, scary and smelled like old beer. It was best for me to move on.... and I am very glad I did.
As far as the kitchen goes we survived August -November 2018 with no kitchen. Thanks to Steve with Electrical Home Maintenance for saving the entire project. Yes, I know I identified someone; get your undies out of your twist. His company is a godsend and his common sense, humor and patience was sorely needed by all of us during what was an unbelievable (or as I usually say "unfuckingbelievable") situation and trying time.....just imagine - gutting and remodeling a kitchen with an Aspie adult that hates change and won't shut up ("Why are we doing this the kitchen was fine" while we live with crappy cabinets and doors falling off hinges). Steve did the best thing in the world - he had the boy help with holding doors and taking out trash. Amazing person to work with and he kept us sane,
During all of this chaos, the boy has been through a lot - he had a miserable first job experience (huge understatement - God-awful nightmare hell would be more apt). He is looking for a new job and will be starting a volunteer experience in a couple weeks. He is in transition and is scared; he is applying and will be working with a job coach in several weeks.
I am not dwelling on him tonight though.
The cuter one moved the sofa in the family room. I am not a big TV watcher but if I have to sit there and do nothing then he had better be sitting there with me otherwise I am out the door. With the sofa move we can sit together. It is really nice and he is getting me to watch generic TV- I know it is a shock. Nonetheless, I watched a good portion of "Big Bang Theory" (BBT) and "Young Sheldon" (YS). BBT was about sibling relationships- lets not go there. But YS was about being where you are. Anyway the story line was that a young girl had died and Sheldon's Mom was into religion and was trying to understand why God would allow such a horrible thing -She and MeMaw went out and got wasted - well she did and wasn't acting like herself. When Sheldon stated, "You are the perfect Mom for me." that struck me. The boy tells me that a lot. He doesn't agree with me most of the time (I am too strict, mean and rude- yeah whatever, so what else is new). But he will admit that I am the perfect Mom for him. I am NOT mother of the year believe me. I will never be the best Mom ever. But you know what, I am the perfect Mom for the kid I have. And you know what - that is enough for me. I am just what I need to be...and how many times in one's life do we get to really admit that?
On that thought train, I believe that my destiny is to be where I am. My destiny is to be taking care of my cute one, my new job (which is way more than awesome BTW), the boy and the princess, keeping up w/my sil's, and the bebes too. Dealing with the other crap- and people who are not positive influences in our lives is not on the table.
Goals for 2019?
Let's stick with destiny.
If we get a bunch of phone calls for the wrong person then let's answer the phone and see where things take us (It happened today- open the damn door and see what is out there).
Let's walk into a new place and ask "When can I start?"
Let's wish upon the star, not that small one but "the second star to the right and strait on until morning"
Let's believe that things happen the way they do so we can move on and grow in the new experiences that we are supposed to be having.
Let's pretend that Cinderella was right and that a "Dream is the wish your heart makes when you are fast asleep"
Let's go for some good old fashioned Destiny,,,, and enjoy every blessed minute of it (even if your feet hurt at the end of the day)
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